Well busy in my world anyway.
Ive been in service allot.

Im sitting here looking at that last icon and it reminded me of the rabbit I was
sewing. Poor little thing. I was about to sew her legs on one day when I realized
that one of her legs was missing! I know it had to have something to do with the
construction guys. Maybe they accidentally threw it away.
I knew it was right there with her other leg in the box that I kept her and all my
sewing supply's in. Oh well, now I'll have to go to the store
and find the right kind of material for it.

Other than service Ive been running around. First there was homecoming.
We went to the Ohio side of the river to watch the fireworks.
But ended up too far away. So we and a bunch of other stupid people who
didnt take into account that the river bent walked closer into some persons
backyard that smelled really bad. But we couldn't see still. So we frantically
drove closer and pulled over for the last bits of it.

Fireworks!









Here's mom and dad, dads giving the rock on sign and no neither
of them were drinking haha. If mom knew I had this on here she would
probably get mad and tell me to take it off lol. They stayed in the car to
watch the fireworks.


Sarah, taking a picture of me taking a picture of Sarah


Obviously this is me. And my awesome boobs.


We look like those Hollywood girls that are like bimbo skanks that ride
around in our limo doing drugs and getting wasted. hahahha.


So thats it for the fireworks. The next day was homecoming.
:::EDIT:::

Took some stuff off... will repost later.

My mom was insisting I wear my sisters clothes to bible study last night...
She didnt want to drive me back to my place, therefore I had to look like a gargantuan in preteen clothing.

Wasnt gonna happen.

So I didnt go. Mumsy said to mom "C'mon my whole body is the size of her upper body!" a little bit of an
exaggeration but indeed by arms and legs would have looked a little ridiculous coming out of her 12 year old clothes. Sometimes my mom completely lacks normal judgment on things, and other times she is like a genious.
I spent my time on runescape, and when the computer auto shut down at 9:00 I started leveling Mumsys character on her dragon quest viii game.

That night I got a call from a guy asking why I wasnt there. This guy had told me that he didnt like me anymore and told me all about this new girl he was into. So I was like cool... I dont have to worry about that anymore. But then suddenly I found myself getting messages from him constantly like I have to report to him every time Im not there. I suppose he does it to everyone, but I started to not  believe him when he said he was over me. Next thing I know he goes back on what he said and claims he doesnt like this girl anymore. Not much of a surpise, truth be told, she's not exactly guy friendly. Im not even sure she has any interests at all. Im not even sure how to start a conversation with her. But that throws the whole problem back in my lap. I cant help but think he did this as a tactic to make me drop my guard. "Oh he doent like me anymore, Im safe.." BAM!

Ive never been very comfortable with the whole, "I just think of you as a friend" thing. Thats allways the cliche let down and I feel cheep using it. But at the same time, its the only thing that works. He's 17, so Im like, dude that would make me a child molester... not to mention just EW on many levels. Ive known him since he was a toddler. I dont want memories of my husband as a baby... just ew. Besides I could never actually date someone Ive grown up with. There are a few guys that I would make an exception for because I maybe have technicaly known them forever, but dont really remember them because I never saw them. I think mainly for me, I just want something new and exciting. Not some guy Ive been around since before I liked boys.

I am a person that either knows or doesnt. I see on movies or hear poeple say, "maybe Ill give him a chance". As if some kind of magical attraction fairy is going to sprinkle her lust dust on you and make you want him after finding out hes really a "Nice guy". That deosnt happen to me, either Im super attracted or Im super not. There are no gray areas of getting to know the guy that shifts me to "OOooh Yeaaa" or to "Heck No!"  The whole thing can go completely awry and Ill still find the guy totally hot. In one case I was getting to know a guy that was pretty darn good looking, but I didnt feel anything. Nothing. Had the relationship not ended so soon, I still wonder if I could have eventually become attracted to him? I dont think so, I think no is no and yes is yes with me. Which is a problem, because you got all these stupid teen movies where they make a whole story about a geeky guy or a geeky girl or someone who's chasing after someone, and all they have to do is change themselves, get cooler, do better, get the persons attention and suddenly the persons dream girl or guy asks them out and they live happily ever after.

So here we have this poor boy insisting that all he has to do is change to have me. Like Ive got some kind of checklist and all he has to do is fill all the necessary categories, like hes applying for a job. I like to think that there is still some kind of magic in attraction. I like to think with some people, its just there from the start. And though love at first sight I know isnt real, I would like to believe that sometimes you just have this unsealable thing with another person that cant be described and it doesnt have to be nurtured, it doesnt have to be worked on or kept up with, because its there no matter what. And to be bruitally honest, if I can imagine ravishly kissing the guy, I pretty much drop the whole idea. Gosh, you must be thinking, that has to be like the worst filter ever?

But how do I say, that there is "no way in heck" without being a dream squashier? I wouldnt normally be so tippy toe about the situation, and if it was anyone else saying the things he is I would be completely blunt. But were talking about a 17 year old... and I have to be around him allot. Hell get over it. But my flaw was I had approached it with the age issue, when really, age isnt the big issue here. He's talking about being 18 and he's advertising himself with such enthusiasm that I feel like hes shutting me down every time I try to  be honest. Some guy made this book, "hes just not that into you" the guy acts like it us women with the problem. But trust me I know when Im not wanted, and Ive had way more guys harassing me than I have ever seen my girl friends harass a guy. 

So what keeps us hanging on? A friend and I were talking about a relationship we had both been in where it was over way before we had caught on. We had hung on to it so blindly that we werent even aware the guy was done and moved on. Of course we both figured it out and backed away gracefully enough. But isnt that the worst feeling ever? Nothing like the slow torturous ween off where your sitting there still thinking your dating the person lol. Why do we do this? Were like kids with one of those giant multi-colored suckers and were hanging on to deer life. Like the person is an object that belongs to you. Either side you are on, its not fun. Unless you are a cold hearrless jerk, then, maybe its not so bad.