I talked to Ben today... but, only for 2 minutes. And of course, he said he would call me right back. No call. Oh well... Anyways, I was crying my eyes out, because I have no one to talk to anymore. Also, my mom is back in the hospital. She is getting admitted, because she is really sick. I hope she is going to be okay.    I really need someone to talk to. And since Ben is either never home, or doesn't call me back, I really have no one. Except for Erika. The coolest Kat in the world. She is always there for me, no matter what. I love her to death. She is my big sister, and will always be. I know I can talk to her. I feel like running away right now... I can't take any of this shit anymore. I am soooo scared of life, and just... everything. I wish everyone was better, and not sick.

I want everyone to be happy, but... What I want, is something that I can't have. That is usually why I am so stressed out a lot. Because I can't have what I want--which is: Happiness. GGRRRR!!!! WHY DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HARD!???!

I am sitting here, listening to music, and talking to my very good friend... Erika. She is the coolest, and the greatest. I love her sooooo much. She is like my big sister.   Anyways, umm............. I am bored out of my mind. I am going to the Skitzo show again, on my brother Casey's birthday. At Recor Theatre--august 23rd. I can't wait!! He is at the Warped Tour right now... With his friend Larry. But, Casey is also going to Ozzfest, and a Slipknot show. I am pissed, because he gets to meet everyone. DAMN HIM! Anyways, I am gonna get going, because there is nothing to do..... *chicoo chicoo chicoo*