| | the sentencing hearing was todaythis is what i said at the hearing today:
"on october 4, 2005, my life came to a halt. everything in my world took a turn and began going in the complete opposite direction. EVERYTHING stopped. i had a very good and comfortable life going. i was in school full time, happily raising two kids by myself, in a house i was planning to buy. then, on that awful day in october, things were stolen from me that i can't go to the store and replace. 2 ½ hours of my life were taken. 2 ½ hours of being forced to do unmentionable things against my will. my sense of security, privacy, intimacy and safety were taken away by a man who only had his own motives and wants in mind. nothing and no one else mattered to this selfish monster. 2 ½ hours changed the way my life was lived. from that point on, i became a shell of a woman who lacked confidence, security and at some points sanity. because of that, i had to drop out of school, probably one of the biggest things that put my life on hold. had i been able to continue going to school, and not have severe anxiety attacks thinking everyone was trying to hurt me, i would've graduated this past may. instead, i had to drop out, appeal to the school, and tell this humiliating story just to get back in. apart from that, i've had to continue to try to be a mother to two young, scared children. my daughter and son have felt the effects of this as well, since they were both home on that awful night. not only were they home, but they were both sick. in fact, my daughter spent two nights in the hospital after that with pneumonia and an asthma attack. they still don't know exactly what happened, but from what they've asked and managed to piece together, they've felt it almost as much as i have. my son started acting out in school and ranting about how he has to get home to keep his mommy safe, and my daughter has been scared to go to bed at night afraid that bad men will come into her window and try to hurt or take her. she regularly reminds me that she's scared of this world. if they sold in the stores a way to reinstill trust and safety in a six and eight year old, i'd be the first in line. then there's our house where we made our little family. we loved our house and the kids still don't understand why we had to leave. we made many memories and had great times there. we planned on being there much longer, and making many more memories, but that was taken from us, too. after that monster left that night, i got my kids, got the hell out and never looked back. i've since been in counseling, gotten back in school, gotten married and tried to piece my life back together. but i'm still a scared, pepper spray toting, little girl that's afraid of the dark and being alone in my own house. i fear when i'm alone with my husband that something will remind me of that night and i'll push a man, who loves me with all of his heart, away. i changed what i was going to say today. i had to muster up all of the goodness i had left in me to find a civilized way and less peppered way to express myself. ultimately, i'm not in a place in my spirituality to say that i forgive him, because i don't and i'm not sure if i ever will."
then the judged yelled at him, sentenced him to 100 years and we lived happily ever after.
IT'S ALL OVER!!! AND YOU ALL DON'T HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT IT ANY MORE!!!
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| | Posted 9/1/2006 9:51 PM - 4 comments
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