I've Been Thinking A Lot Lately ( Not Really But Yeah...)

Ventilation - Joe Budden

My Life - Lil’ Wayne/The Game

No Matter What - T.I.

I’m going to pull an Andrew Fogarity and Craig Gallagher by becoming a teacher if business doesn’t work out. I’m still going for my business bachelor degree. Becoming a teacher is just a back up plan. After helping some of my classmates with the stuff we were learning in the classes we were taking made me come to this decision. They seem to understand me more than the teacher hahaha. The scores they got on their test were higher than an eighty. I like to think it was because of me that they got those grades. Everyone that I help was pretty appreciated that I help them. Who knows? Maybe I might drop all my business courses and become a teacher but I highly doubt it. I never really like the idea of becoming a teacher until now but like I said, "It’s just a back up plan."

I’m also planning on getting a new job at Citizens Bank just because I can get a hook up by one of my classmate. The idea sounds good. I’m going to make three dollars more than I’m making now and I can also make my schedule flexible. I would also be still in Super Stop & Shop hahaha. The problem with this is that I only have two weeks to decide.

At the same time, this is the worse plan ever. It’s not like at Super Stop & Shop I can’t make my schedule flexible because I get the hours I want or I’m not already making in my double digits which most nineteen years old don’t. I would just lose all my benefits working at Super Stop & Shop. It would probably take me another three years for me to get another two weeks vacation and two personal days working at Citizens Bank. My privilege to wonder off around the area would be gone because I would be confined in that one small area. If I get fired, I wouldn’t have a union to back me up. Losing my free health insurance would really kill me since paying for health insurance is very expensive. Lastly why would I want to lose my five percent off any purchase or a few cents off gas at any Super Stop And Shop? I really don’t know? I think I should just be grateful that I have a pretty good job compare to everyone else.

It’s not like I don’t like my job at Super Stop & Shop. Okay, I lied hahaha. Naw, I’m messing with ya. It’s just that I’m kind of getting of sick of it. I really don’t mind working in produce, or helping out in florist and doing price changes from time to time. The people in that hole store is just irritating. I’m talking about the customers and people in my department when I’m saying people. Don’t get me wrong, majority of the people there are made cool. If you do get offended... **** ***!!! I’ll also stick up this finger but not the index, pinkie, the ring, or the thumb but the one you put up when you don't give a ****. Everyone I work with is either lazy or mentally challenge. It’s not like I’m not lazy or act retarded sometimes but I think they over do it sometimes. I just can’t deal with the fact why they don’t know when to mess around. Some of the people who visit also contribute to this problem making people **** off when there’s a lot to do. The gangster customers are just waaay to annoying but let’s not go there considering we all know the reason. It’s whatever...maybe I just need a new start like what number 4 says on http://www.xanga.com/theblackspiderman/667026314/the-seven-habits-of-highly-effective--pok233mon-trainers.html?ref=FPP.

July it just been a weird month considering I would be soaring up way up into the sky to unimaginable heights and then crashing faster then ever and then rising back up. The first six months has been phenomenal but July is weird. I’ll update later PEACE!!!

Note: It’s of weird how I’m ranting about the same stuff Russell was ranting about a few weeks ago but this is just 2/4 of the stuff I want to say.

Farewell

Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) - Green Day

Another turning point a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go
So make the best of this test and don't ask why
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

People who talks about moving to a new area but doesn’t make an effort to do it are very irritating. What’s the point of making me listening to all of this babbling!?!?!? It’s like me telling someone I want to become a compulsive lair when I’m not even going to start lying. LOL

But when someone just randomly thinks about moving without telling anyone, it’s like WTF!!! Then they’re gone in less then a week. Now it’s more of a I shouldn’t get caught up with other things and I should’ve chill with them more. It’s all spontaneous so I guess no one can really expect this type of stuff to happen except if they were hinting it.

I guess the problem with only listening to someone is sometimes you don't hear everything and when you finally realize what they were trying to say, you might've lost them forever. You can never underestimate the importance of listening. Listening can effect everything. Ultimately, it keeps you in the moment so you don't miss the things that really matter...

The number one reason of someone wanting to move is that they want a change of scenery. I think they want a change of scenery because nothing is really working out the way they expect it. Nothing really works out the way they expect it because of the choices they decide to make. They can blame it on bad luck, fate, or anything they want but it was their choices that lead them to where they’re at. Things aren't always going to be fair in the real world. That's just the way it is but for the most part, you get what you give and life is what you make it.

For the most part, moving might be a good idea. They can start a new life. Sometimes they find their way to something better. Sometimes they fight through the regret and remorse of their mistakes, their malice and their jealousy and the shame they feel for not making the way things were meant to be. And that's when they find their way to something better or something better finds its way to them.

Just remember, its never too late to make things were meant to be.

FAREWELL JOSH AND SELENA!!! HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT IN FLORIDA AND ARKANSAS!!!

I'm One Third There

"yes, I know the process has so much stress but it’s the progress that feels the best"

All In All - Lifehouse

Standing on top of the edge it feels like it's going down
Everything stays in my mind feeling in a daze on the ground
Feels like it's gonna give life's to hard to live anymore
I think I've had enough things too tough
I'm out the door
All in all it's just another day now
You're falling down
What you gonna do
Standing on top of the world tonight
No ones looking back at you
Stand tall
It's going on
It's going on
It's gonna be just fine
You're holding on
Holding on today

My goal is to get a 3.8 grade point average (GPA) by the end of the summer. I’m pretty successful on getting that goal accomplish. I went from a 3.53 GPA to a 3.60 GPA. I got that A I wanted in my micro economics class. I just need two more A’s in my next two summer classes to get that accomplish.

Man, I thought getting a 3.60 GPA was going to be impossible. The cards in my hands were pretty bad. It was easy at first working 40 to 48 hours a week at work and working with a smart group at school. Then the teacher decided to kick me out of my smart group to work with a bunch of people who I thought were incompetent. (Till’ this day, I still regret that retard comment.) It was pretty hard working those hours at work while having the most incompetent group in the class. In the end, they weren’t really incompetent. Life is full of surprises like a friend of mines has said. I got that A to get me to my 3.60 GPA.

I guess in the end things seldom work out exactly the way I expected. Other times, I've kind of sealed my own fayte. Either way, I have to trust that whatever's supposed to happen will happen.

I wouldn’t get mad if I don’t get a 3.8 GPA at the end of the summer. I would still be happy even if I get a 3.61 GPA. I didn’t digress so why would I get mad for? The only thing that would get me piss off if I get something lower than a 3.53 GPA. The only thing I could say is that I gave it my all and I tried my best by setting my self on fire to created that combustion. All good things do come to an end but I still have that spark in me. Success is more of how much I accomplish then getting the goal complete. One thing I will remember from this is that many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

I GAVE A SUBLIMINAL SHOUT OUT FIND IT!!!

Death

Can You Hear Me - Fabolous

Cuz now I ain't wit cha, know that I miss ya, some how I carry on

I can still picture, when I was wit cha like you was never gone

I remember the good times, all of the bad times

I dedicate this song, to my niggaz laid out, Til my niggaz lay down

Can Ya Hear Me, I know you hear me

I’ll Be Missing You - P. Diddy

Every step I take, every move I make

Every single day, every time I pray

Ill be missing you

Thinkingof the day, when you went away

What a life to take, what a bond to break

Ill be missing you

Who Knew - Pink!

If someone said three years from now

You'd be long gone

I'd stand up and punch them up

Cause they're all wrong

I know better

Cause you said forever

And ever

Who knew

R.I.P.

June 28, 2008

Katie Gallagher

?-?-2007

Harry

?-?-2006

Marty

July 11, 2004

Bang Quoc Mai

I was having the greatest year ever until this Saturday. It’s mad weird hearing about people you know die. Especially when it seems to be every year that pass. For some odd reason it’s in the summer. I’m pretty sure everyone says this will never happen to me but the truth of the matter, anything can happen to you. Majority of deaths are base on bad choices and when your time is up. The only messed up thing about someone dying is dwelling in the pass and remembering when the last time you spoke to them,.so that’s basically what I’m going through right now.

Katie Gallagher is an awesome person. She was one of greatest person I could work with at Super Stop & Shop. Even when she quit, she still made an effort to say hi and chat with me when she was in the store. Those good times sitting in the back of produce during break with Matt Mulo is very memorable. I remembered her always planning about throwing annoying ass Bonnie down the trash compactor, having weird ideas, and always bugging Matt Mulo for free weed lol. It’s still hard to believe she died in a fatal car accident by not wearing a seat belt. I mean wearing a seat belt is common sense right??? I don’t know but I just hope she’s in a better place. Hopefully she knows me, Ben, Lauren, Meredith, and Shaun misses her...

Harry is a funny dude who I also work with at Super Stop & Shop. I remembered those corny funny jokes from him. "WHY DID MICKEY DUMP MINNIE??? BECAUSE SHE WAS FUCKING GOOFY LOL!!! I’m just ashamed to hear that he died on a heroin overdose. Never in a day did I ever thought he was a druggie. I mean he did ask me to borrow $10 which I never got back but I’m just glad it wasn’t my blood money that killed him. I’m pretty sure he used that money to buy heroin. He may not be everyone’s favorite at the store but he’s always cool in my book. Make sure you take care of yourself where ever you are buddy...

Marty is the one of the hardest working dude at Super Stop & Shop. He was mad old but he kept on working everyday. This guy use to throw away my trash and cardboard for me when it was my responsibility. He never wanted much except for a hi and thank you. This is someone anyone could respect. It’s just weird knowing that he died at a place he liked to work. He came to work tired and worn out so he took a rest in the back of produce. The funny thing about the day he died is when Rob gave him a watermelon to make him feel better which it did for some odd reason lol. The greatest downfall is when he didn’t went with Bob to the hospital and decided to grab his bike. I guess the weight was to much stress on him and cause him to collapse. It must’ve been hard for Lauren to see him died in front of her face. Hopefully someone is taking care of you like you took care of everyone at work...

My cousin Bang Quoc Mai died over beef man... It’s just as worst as what happen to Cristian Martinez. I don’t know Chrisitan Martinez personally but I do remembering hearing about him when I was chilling with Chan a few years back. I think dying over gang violence is mad stupid. I mean it’s dying over colors and name calling. IT’S FUCKING STUPID!!! What’s even worst is that it’s the same race on race violence. It’s really retarded how gangs won’t do shit to white people for saying something racist (NO OFFENSE TO WHITE PEOPLE) but they’ll go after the next person who calls them a crab, slob, or with the wrong colors on. I mean gangs claim other gangs snitch so what’s the difference if a racist white person does it after you hurt them??? I don’t know but my cousin died over racial shit and not gang violence. He stood up for his race by siding with his friends against those racist white folks but I wish it wasn’t his life that was taken away. Whatever happens where ever your at...I just hope its all peace man...

These type of deaths are the types you hear about when your growing up. Car accident happens everyday. Drug abuse happens by taking minor drugs. Old people age and deteriorate. Violence and hate starts over minor things.

The only positive thing from their deaths are the lessons to be learn from their deaths. Always wear your seatbelt, don’t speed, don’t drink, and drive. Never do drugs because nothing good really comes out of it. Learn to smile and make an attempt to get along with everyone. I’m pretty sure I get along with everyone. Well not really but yeah. I mean I do get along with everyone at school and work. I’m pretty sure it’s possible for everyone to get along. I’ve seen it at school!!! Everyone just needs to take that one small step so it can be global ya dig???

The weird thing about the deaths at Super Stop & Shop is the way everyone died differently and works in different apartments. One was a cashier, another was a dairy clerk, and porter. I don’t know anyone who died there as a drunk yet but there is a drunk in my department. Smart guy but his liquor has taken over him. Hopefully he isn’t next for 2009...

Last thing I’m saying is that make sure you tell who ever it is what you want to say to them because they might not be around long enough to hear it...

My Faith In Humanity

I don’t think this is the title I’m looking for but it’s still a title. =]

Tie My Hands - Lil’ Wayne/Robin Thicke

"and if you come from under that water then there’s fresh air
just breathe baby, gods got a blessing to spare
yes, I know the process has so much stress
but it’s the progress that feels the best
cause I came from the projects straight to success
and your next, so try they can't steal your pride it's inside
then find it and keep on grinding
cause in every dark cloud there’s a silver lining
I know..."

Dude, I was going bananas when my micro economics teacher kick me out of my smart group to work with a bunch of retards. I really do deserve it considering I did call them retards. The only reason why I call them retards because they were always texting on their cell phones and not paying attention. These kids would’ve understand the material more if they took the time to read the book and payed more attention. They aren’t retards, they’re just lazy!!!

Luckily my smart group convince the teacher to combine the group so we all can use our knowledge together. You couldn’t imagine how happy I was to get help to teach these retards!!! I was surprise that they came through for me considering I didn’t really know them that much except for Ledina because she goes to school with me and works at the Citizens Bank at Super Stop & Shop in Peabody. Jessica and Melissa were just two smart people I met who came from another great college and university to finish up school faster by taking summer courses at North Shore Community College. We work pretty well when it was just the smart group but when the retarded group came it was just frustrating!!! It was only frustrating because they kept asking the same repetitive questions. The retard group did make a little difference on improving their grade but not a significant improvement.

I never thought the retards would pass that micro economics class but they did surprise me. The teacher gave us the finals for homework and we had to pass it on the last day. We only had two days to complete it. I came up with the idea to meet up in the cafeteria two hours before class so we can check up on our answers. I didn’t do it that night because I was pretty dam lazy and tired. Then the next day it was the same thing because I had work early in the morning and Josh call me up to chill so I was like FUCK IT, I’LL DO IT AT WORK!!! That was the worst mistake ever because I didn’t expect my brain to dumb down significantly so I was struggling doing it on break and lunch. I did finish it by the time I left work but I wasn’t even confident that it was even the right answers. I got a text message from Ledina while I was walking to North Shore Community College that she wasn’t even sure about her answers because she did it at work that same day. It was the same story with Jessica and Melissa. I met up with Ledina at the entrance of the school and said "Yeah I don’t think the retards are going to remember to meet up at the cafeteria LOL." I said the same thing when I saw Jessica and Melissa walking towards the cafeteria but to my surprise they were earlier then all of us. They even finish their finals!!! They told us that they took what we taught them and did the work the night the finals was assign to all of us. We check all our answer and we got them all right except for the smart group didn’t get the last few correct. We was wondering what the hell happen because we all had different answers for the last few questions so we check the retarded group and to our surprise they had the right answers. For them to get all the correct answers on the finals really surprise us because we were the retards for doubting them. We didn’t really expected them to listen or study. Well, I’m pretty sure they didn’t study but they did listen to our amazement.

The irony of this all was I didn’t really expect both group to actually work well together or the retard group to pass. These are two different group. Jessica, Ledina, and Melissa are from Wilmington, Danvers, and Lynnfield. These cities are considered to be full of snobby people who didn’t like ghetto kids but these three weren’t snobby. The retard group are from Lynn and Revere. These two cities are considered to be full of lazy ghetto kids who hated snobby kids. I mean they were lazy ghetto kids but they turn themselves around at the end. The only reason I thought they wouldn’t work well together because I was being stereotypical about the hole ordeal. I usually don’t follow stereotype but for those few weeks in the summer class I actually did for some odd reason. For me to see them work together makes me think that we can end prejudices towards each other.

At the end of the day I met a bunch of very great people. The retard group really isn’t that retarded. I’m pretty sure they can be successful in life if they keep trying the way they did on the finals. Jessica is a great friend who I’m going to be taking macro economics with in the second summer session and hopefully more classes in the fall. =] I’m pretty surprise she picked North Shore Community College over Nichols College to get her Associates Degree in business with them paying for 75% of her classes. Ledina is also a great friend who finish up North Shore Community College and got accepted to Suffolks University with them also paying for 75% of her classes. Melissa is a great acquaintance who is going back to Providence University to finish up her senior year. I don’t regret one bit taking summer classes because I met a bunch of great people who found a way to work well together.