ORANGE!  Nothing really to say.  Enjoy the moment eh?  Ø ORANGE! Ø

CONVERSATION:  So SKI says to me... "I was driving by your work today and it looked like the end of a rainbow was right over it.  I was like I gotta get a hold of Chicken!  If he's not at work, I gotta tell him to get there.  It's gotta be a sign!"  And, so I says back... "It was a sign, I had really bad gas today..."

JOKES:  Did you hear the one about the gay midget?  He was stuck in the cupboard.  /  Why did the gay midget cross the street?  He was stuck in the chicken.  /  What did 0 say to 8?  Nice belt.  /  Why do gorillas have big nostrils?  Because they have big fingers.

MY BOOK:  Gonna finishing editing it in notepad tomorrow, send it in to the online site, and then order a proof copy before I give the A-OK.  From that point, it'll be available to publish... and I gotta see what price still.  I'll keep ya posted.

BEATS:

BROKEN OKLAHOMA SOUL
The sound of thunder strikes about.  The lightning bugs throw jealous symbols to the house of commons.  Parades of parishners & parkinsoned plebians cheer & snap in and out of unison down the roadway of the domesticated soul.  Three cheers for the truth.  Three cheers for the deserved.  Three cheers for the tables.  Remarkable Gregory Gorrister.  You make a woman proud.  And bossomy.

A REQUEST TO THEM
Searching for some guidance.  Sitting it out waiting for it to flood in.  Maybe not flood, but even a trickle would be welcome.  None of this random here and there bullshit, with occasional things.  None of this insanely bad, shitty ideas that fluster & pop up with desperate longings for approval.  I NEED something that will work.  I'm tired of trying to make out the whispers.  I'm tired of listening for lyrics.  Talk to me Steve.  And tell the others to talk to me too.

STEVE'S REPLY
So you're on the request table are ya?  What gives you the right to request, or even feel like you could deal with anything but the lyrics & whispers you contend with?  You wouldn't even heed the guidance you so desperately want.  You've always been such a loner & you'll continue to be until your dying day.  I'm here.  We're all here.  I'm the REASON you don't want, yet secretly do.  I know you.  I am you.  Just live, faggot.

CHRIS WYCHINSKI & REVEREND GOODHAIR'S REPLYS
~In this infinite universe, you must learn to remember, you are only ever in the middle of it all~ (GOODHAIR 25:7).  You rate yourself, and berate yourself.  Just remember...

MAN MOUNTAIN'S REPLY
You know what you must do.

Decision Of The Moment:  I must do what I know I must.

ORANGE!  Just some quick stuff.  Enjoy, and enjoy the moment eh?  Ø ORANGE! Ø

FINALLY:  Finally I have acquired the Holy Grail off youtube.  I'm talkin' about BIG TIME the video by Tom Waits.  To any Tom Waits fan, it is the pinaccle of anything collectible by him.  You can have everything Tom Waits has ever made, but if you don't have that video... or haven't seen it, you don't deserve to be a Waits fan.  At least that's how alot of us see it.  Anyways, the entire video is on youtube right now, and using youtube downloading software, super, and my DVD burner, I can finally get the video on DVD.  Thing is you can't find the VHS anymore, and if you can it's at garage sales which is a one in a million chance... and if it's new it's hideously insanely high priced.  Then, you never see it broadcast on television anymore because I think it's a "who has the rights" issue... which is also why it's said that "it'll never be released on DVD".  You know, kinda like the classic Adam West Batman stuff.  Warner Bros., D.C. comics, the network it was broadcast on, and Adam West all want exclusive distribution rights to it or something like that... which is why you still can't find it in DVD form.  If if was, you can bet that'd go like hotcakes.  So at the moment, I'm extremely ecstatic.

JOKES:  Don't hold your farts in.  If you do, they travel up your spine and into your brain and stay there.  They then become the reason for all your shitty ideas.  /  So this blonde takes her clothes to the dry cleaners to be cleaned.  She goes off, has lunch, comes back and hour later, pays for them and picks them up.  As she's leaving the owner says "Thank you, come again", to which the blonde turns around and says, "Actually, it was mustard this time." /  Why do women have flower designs on the front of their underwear?  It's to pay respects to all the heads that've been buried there.

PERSONAL THOUGHT:  If'n you've ever seen those enzyte commercials for male enhancement, where it's like "Bob is now confident" and it has the guy with a big smile on his face jumping into a swimming pool... man, if those pills make one's face look like that, it don't matter how big you get... you ain't gettin' any with a psycho happy smile on yer mug.

BEAT:

SCHIZOPHRENIC (BUT NOT REALLY)
There is nothing.  There is everything.  All is one, and none for all.  The coin is one.  The side is one.  The obverse, converse, subverse, inverse, reverse is of one fabric.  A fabric that cannot be meshed with anything else.  A fabric of divinity.  It calls to me.  It tells me things.  I wear it, and parade it around like a coat of armour, and I'm not talking the hot dog kind.  Love it.  Beer one.  Take it to your grave.  Chaos.

Fogcutter Bartender Of The Moment:  Lisa.  She rocks.  Always happy, peppy... and today a gent named Frank asked me "Have you ever seen her without a smile?"  And honestly, I don't think I ever have.  That's why Lisa is the Fogcutter bartender of the moment.

ORANGE!  Ladies, and gents... read on.  Ø ORANGE! Ø

PISSER:  For a little over a week now every dream I've been having has been a realistic one.  Realistic situations with people I know, nothing illogical happening like all the sudden I fly or anything.  It's as if it is in reality.  I've even been blogging in my dreams.  The pisser comes when I'm awake, since the dreams are so real I remember them, and my mind has been referring to them.  I'm mad at people for saying things they only said in my dreams.  I'm referring incidents to people that never happened.  It's makin' life all that much more fun (sarcasm greatly intended).  I blame the gas prices.

GAS PRICES:  So what is this... for every hour I work, just a little over a third of that is goin' to gas.  So if I save everything I make per week and only spend it at a bare minimum on food, and only drive to where I NEED to drive and save gas that way, I can... what... afford to save enough money to go recreational shopping for a sandwich the next week?  ALRIGHT!

SYNC:  The other day in the mall I was looking in Bed Bath & Beyond and was thinking about a shotglass chess set I saw in there long ago.  I didn't see it in the window or anything, it just came to mind as I was walking passed it.  Later on in the mall, near Oakley, some guys passed me carrying one.  For all my years I've been going to the mall, I've seen those chess sets in there and never saw anyone ever actually buy one.  Just struck me that I didn't even go in there and it came to mind, and then someone ACTUALLY bought the damn thing and I saw it.  That, is a moment of sync.

POLAR BEAR ON A TREADMILL:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tXtBpfR69E

DRINKS:  The following drinks are named after the people that made them.  They hit particularly fast.  I'm not saying anything about the flavour because the job they do is worth any agonizing part-time torture they may produce at the start of your imbibing.

THE MARK:  In a rocks glass mix equal parts Drambuie, Bacardi 151 Rum, and Jameson Irish Whiskey.

THE CAMILLE:  In a rocks glass, mix equal parts Jameson Irish Whiskey, and Johnnie Walker Red Label Scotch.

PERSONAL LAUGH:  I just saw a picture of some mock-barbedwire I was drawing to show a guy the difference between barbedwire tattoos, and tribal barbedwire designs... and the normal one looks like The Brain (If you don't understand, watch the movie WAITING to get the full effect of The Brain reference).

BEAT:

NOTHING LEFT TO CHANCE
I don't care.  I don't want to care.  Just make what I want so.  If you don't have the power to make it so, perhaps you can find me someone else that can.  PLEASE find a way!  I don't want to go down the path of risk.  I want the absolute.  I don't want chance.  Give me a signal loud & clear!  Give me something to work from!  Don't give me a heaping, helping, of nothingness!  Don't give me pointless banter!  Give me something to believe!  With nothing left to chance.  Druid.

Names I Made Up To Use In Beats For The Moment:  Gregory Gorrister, Julie Peaches, Kate Sprocket, James Marzipan

ORANGE!  This is really a catch-up blog for me.  Have these notes in my notepad just accumulating.  So, yeah... enjoy the moment afterwards.  Ø ORANGE! Ø

DAMN:  Had 150$ at 5pm yesterday... went to the bar... 9am today I check my wallet to find 25$  Yes.

YOUTUBE:  Seriously, I saw this long ago... it really was on television.  I think it only lasted a pilot or something and then immediately got pulled.  It's called HEIL HONEY I'M HOME.  Part 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbj9otRPdiM and Part 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnord5ZSM2M

WASTING TIME AT THE SUPERMARKET:  When the overhead paging system blares "cashiers to the front lanes please" or something similar, huddle into the fetal position and shout "oh no, the voices are back!"

ODD:  So I'm walkin' the mall today and someone out of the blue says "Go back to the city!" to me.

GAY PICK UP LINE:  You remind me of a candy bar.  Half sweet, and half nuts.

BEATS:

SCREAMING
Screaming for help.  Pleading for help.  Needing help.  The help that is offered gets ignored, many a night.  Night after night.  It's sad & heartbreaking, literally.  His heart is breaking, as is mine.  Addicted.

IN CONSTANT BELIEF
I believe I will be published.  I believe I will achieve greatness.  Nobody feels the same of me, but I believe nonetheless.  How do you hold accountability to factual poetic rights?  In poetry, nothing is as it seems.  I congratulate those that get away with it.  I love the instances it trys.  A new tattoo to happen at any moment, regardless of the pain.  GOD bless the U.S.A.  GOD bless the normal American.  Chazzuh!

I CAN FEEL THE HEAT
It's Goddamn terrible.  It creeps in, no... more like attacks, with great thrift and speed.  I was fine, stable, NORMAL.  I sit here... then it hits.  It's like an intense hatred that just strikes for a moment, and then dissapates.  I'm shaking from it's constant attacks.  And it all happens as my favourite tunes in the world play on.  The one's I usually sing along to.  The one's that fill my heart.  Why the heat?  Why the anger?  It's the damndest thing.  Can YOU feel it?

IT'S FALLING
It's insane as it falls.  Among the crowd, riddling them with drops that catalyze their emotions, & spark the thoughts of disembracement.  As it falls, the temperature rises.  A heated battle commences.  The Victrola is put up on high, as the hatred is juxtaposed with the fray.  Riots break.  Mob mentality ensues.  Casualties created.  Then... in a moment... as soon as it begins, the curtain once more rises.  All that is left is a peaceful day, with a devastated situation to repair.  It's the final curtain.  The final countdown.

CLERICAL ERROR
The number 1, erecting from the mobius strip.  Separating itself into a decisively different count altogether.  The count of one, separate from two.  But perhaps it is a seven.  Perhaps it's an eleven!  Only seen an eleven twice, and in jest it was.  Once when one of Shakespeare's plays was being joked about, and the other during the Benny Hill Show.  Both times funny.  Both times swell.  Annoying as Hell, but not really.

FORK IN THE ROAD
Decision time, but not mine to make.  The fork in the road is quite the obstruction as I want to choose a path.  But it is not my choice.  I have wandered far ahead of my guide, and now I must await his arrival to tell me where to go.  I give myself too much time, and create too much drama when I reach this spot in advance.  The only decision I CAN make is what I will do to occupy my time in the meanwhile.  Probably just wish he picks the path I want him to.  And it starts.

THE BUSINESS ON THE BUSINESS
It's my business to know your business.  But to know MY business, is none of your business.  I tell you this though, you little tripe, because I'm in a mood right now.  You can consider it a good mood, for if it were bad it would have been none of your business, and wouldn't have told you what my business was.  So feel VERY priveledged you fuckin' prick, that I'm telling you I'm all up in your business & my business is none of your business.  That's the nature of the business.

Song Of The Moment:  BIG ASS ROCK from the FULL MONTY SOUNDTRACK.

ORANGE!  Ladies and gentlemen... and I guess pervs... today's entry is a monumental one.  It's the only entry I've ever entered on April 5th, 2008.  So read it, click the links, and as always... enjoy the moment(s) eh?  Ø ORANGE! Ø

SOUND OFF:  Friend and I got to talking about talking to people on the net, vs. in real life.  Just kind of peeved us the guff ALL of the internet creates.  I work with people ages sixteen to fifty plus, and I talk to all of them.  I flirt with all ages.  I say inappropriate things to all ages.  Basically, I socialize with anyone.  And the same goes for them vice versa.  However... if I'm telling my friend face to face something like "so this other day I was talkin' to this kid on the net"... automatically I'm thrown into the "inappropriate" category of etiquette.  It's like if I talk to someone younger than me on the net, I'm thought of as a pedophile or more or less a dirty old man.  If I talk to an older person online, people tell me to "be careful".  And it's just bullshit, ya know?  That's like saying don't talk to anyone older or younger than you EVER.  In fact... don't ever talk to anyone.  I guess that's all I got to say, sarcastically.  If I needed to add something more, all it would be is just refer to anyone you talk to online as your friend.  Don't mention "this guy", "this girl", "this kid", "this dame", "this dude", etcetera.  Because then the questions from your friends and parents arise as to who they are to you, and age.  If you say friend, it's accepted.  I've learned that much.

KINKY TOILET:  My toilet just showed me it's kinky side.  It told me it wants to participate in watersports, and a sheisse video.  Well... I certainly won't be one to disappoint.

KINKY CAR:  My car recently told me it wants to do it in the road.  Even though I'm not into models, I'm gonna get all up in her, and drive her home!  Yeah baby!

APOLOGY:  I'm sorry Martha, I'm only kiddin'.  You know I love ya.

KNOW-IT-ALL ANSWER:  Yes, that was an apology to my car.

YOUTUBE:  These are probably two of the funniest videos I've ever seen.  I hope ya'll watch em', and enjoy em' as much as I did.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXf3wx5nPXU and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUZuV0xce3A

BEATS:

BROKEN RECONSTRUCTION
Talkative & labelsome, I love it, I love it.  The regulars & occassionals always gather to redeem themselves with the universal voice of love and happiness.  Raise a glass, cheers to you, crack the glass, spill on you.  Lick it off, non-sexual... yet highly so.  All in the name of a good time.  Harassment knows no law here.  Should you feel harassed, you kick my ass.  Should I feel harassed... I say to do it harder & worse.  Cuz that's how I like it sweetheart.  Harder.

I'M OUT LIKE A BONER IN SWEATPANTS
A solid love encasement of bronze & granite.  Millions to walk by & admire the erection and rememberance of a champion, but not of a champion's erection.  But that'd be a kick, would it not?  A sculpted & carved, bronze encased granite statue, sportin' an erection to be unvieled 'fore the masses.  Shock, photos, & laughs.  Would it be changed to subtlety?  Would the news mention that the endowment of the statue need be removed?  Would the bulge be left as a staple of uniqueness?  All I know is this... it hasn't happened yet.

Brain's Joke Of The Moment:  A guy goes to the doctor's office.  He says to the doctor, "Doc, I can't stop singing Delilah.  Everywhere I go, I sing it.  In the car, at work, in the elevator up to your office, even in the waiting room!"  The doc says, "Sounds like you got Tom Jones Syndrome".  The guy asks, "Wow, is it serious?"  The doc replies "Well it's not unusual".

Tim's Reccomendation Of The Moment:  When telling the Tom Jones joke to somebody, you should deliver the punchline by singing the tune.