smelling roses
Friday, July 25, 2008
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silly xanga.
I'd like xanga a thousand times more if they would let me blog for free without a big ol advertisement running down my site. I know I've only recently started this Mrs_Drewski xanga, but since half of my friends have left xanga already, I must confess, that once again, I am toying with the idea of switching to blogger or wordpress.
I've had a BLOGSPOT for quite a while. and NO advertisements. plus i could link all my xanga peeps on there too. what to do, what to do....
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
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Funny Business
I've been thinking about humor.
I really appreciate people who can make me laugh.
Being funny is a gift and an art.
Sitting alone with my husband one night I looked over at him and said, "I am not funny." To which Drew said, "Huh?" and then he loked at me with a pitying look and continued, "Lets just say that of the two of us, you're the serious one. But you sure know how to laugh at things that are funny."
I really wish I was funny. Once in a blue moon something will come out of my mouth that is truly, smartly funny. And it always surprises me. More often than not I keep my mouth shut and let the really funny people do their thing, because usually when I try comedy I fall hard.
There are different kinds of funny. Off the top of my head I can think of slapstick, wit, sarcasm... hmm.. there's gotta be more. what's your favorite funny?
I love wit. It takes thought, timing... I cant stand sarcasm. It's like cheap humor. Anybody can do sarcasm. Heck, even I could do sarcasm. Good slapstick usually gets laughs out of me too - but then i feel mean: sitting comfortably, laughing at someone elses misfortune.
But as my Love pointed out I can laugh. I love to laugh, it is so good for us, you know? More often than not I find myself laughing much louder than anyone else in the room, and I quickly turn down the volume and think, "Gosh! How long was I laughing so obnoxiously loud? Does it sound that loud to everyone else? Why doesnt someone ever tell me to shut my trap?"
I guess I must have good friends. And thank God so many of them are funny, otherwise Ms.Serious here would shrivel up from humor deprivation.
happy to have internet. happy to be back on xanga. even if so many of my friends aren't. (YET). ahem.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
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Modern Living
The Ellison Family
Wishes to announce they are expecting...
The Internet!
The New Arrival will be blessing our home starting July 24.
Congratulatory gifts are not neccesary but will be gracefully accepted.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
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Summer so far:
a blur!
DISNEY WORLD. okay - this was a spring adventure, but it felt like summer.
trying to sell my house and my car.
gardening.
sleepovers.
go-carts and bumper boats.
lots of grilling.
saying goodbye as a loved-one moves across country.
venturing to the Toledo zoo. a worthwhile trip.
saying farewell to a dying refridgerator and hello to my snappy new one.
smores.
watching my kids in their early morning swim lessons.
giving my littlest brother a new hairstyle.
Still to come:
fireworks
camping
garage sale
gearing up for next semester! I'm taking two more classes int the fall, maybe chemistry and government.
SELLING MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
as soon as i sell my house I can get a puppy greyhound. :)
anybody on xanga this summer?
Friday, April 18, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
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Chapter One
I have this problem when I begin to think about too many big things at once. The issues start to swirl around and around in my head and make me a bit dizzy. The most successful cure I’ve found for this ailment is to sit down and write down all those thoughts. Somehow, the act of moving my pen (or fingers if I’m typing,) moves the swirling matters out of my aching head and onto the paper/screen. It’s miraculous.
As of late, my mind has been swirling like crazy, and if I don’t get some serious blog therapy, I’m gonna get sea-saw sick.
I’ve been thinking about Moses today.
Moses had a difficult assignment. It was unpleasant I am sure: free the Israelites from Egypt’s grip, then lead the whiny bunch to a promised land. He was so sure his job was too big for him; he tried to talk God out of choosing him at first. I am sure it was a heavy burden to bear. But oh the reward! I cannot imagine being on a mountaintop face to face with my Lord. He endured some rough times, because God had a purpose that needed to be fulfilled.
I walked out of the house this morning, on my way to class, with a heavy heart. I did not want to leave my husband who had a late start at work today. Amazingly, I did not want to leave my crazy messy, and yes, even DIRTY thing that my house has become this semester. I wanted o stay home and do nothing with my husband. Just sit on the couch in his arms, quietly. I waned to really scrub my kitchen, and vacuum my dining room.
I do not like school right now. I know. I can’t believe I am saying it either. It is not because of the school itself though. I love how alive and challenged I feel while I’m sitting in class. I get excited while taking notes on something I’ve learned for the first time.
What bothers me is all the things I’m missing out on because I’m in class or doing homework so much. Time with my husband and time to clean. This semester more so than last semester, I feel like a failure as a mother/friend/spouse/sister/daughter. I have barely picked up the phone to call ANYone since January. Part of me feels that this turning inward was due to selfishness. Part of me thinks it was self-preservation – doing what I could to remain mostly sane and maintain some kind of almost normal life, and hoping my loved ones will understand my short time of silence.
It is hard to feel like a good mother when I am not doing things I used to. I am sad that I am not with my kids as much as I want. I have to believe that things will turn out okay. I am definitely considering slowing down a bit though. Possibly taking only one class in the fall. Is it wimping out? I don’t think so. I think it is being real about what is important. If nothing else, (although there’s lots else,) this year has shown me that my organizational and motivational habits need improvement. One class would still stretch me, but hopefully leave room for a little bit of normalcy for my family and me.
I do not have the same task as Moses, fortunately. But my task is difficult just the same. I am called to be out of debt, to be free from slavery. The road to freedom for me is paved not with plagues, but with books, homework and tests. I know I am doing the right thing, but I am in the middle of the not very fun part right now. It has been hard for me to see God’s face shining down on me through some thick clouds these past couple of weeks. Everywhere I turn, I see areas where I am not making the cut. I truly believe that it is good for Christians to push to accomplish more than they can by themselves, because this is when God has to step in and help – and then He gets to reap in all due glory and praise. This is a good thing. Having faith to reach out and grab whatever task He wants for us, especially when it is something we cannot possibly accomplish on our own.
I cannot stop praising my father in heaven that I have been given enough grace to accomlpish the task set before me. I know this season will be difficult, but I know that it is just that: a season. I can see already that will come out on the other side a changed woman, and for that I am grateful.
When I am feeling so pressed, I know there is One who saves me. Another incredible part of pushing further than what is comfortable, is that it pushes us to be so dependant on Christ, for strength enough to stand. Truly, writing my thoughts down on paper may relieve my headache for a moment, but it is Christ who replaces the headache with peace. When I am weak, then He is strong, then I am dependant on him for my every breath. He knows this. He longs for me to stay with him throughout my day. To give up food for a time to remind myself of his goodness and strength that more than compensate for my shortcomings. Truly I serve a good God.
Psalm 32:67 “Therefore let everyone who is Godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him. You are my hiding place; you will proet me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.”
Psalm 1:2 “But his/(her) delight is in the law of the lard, and on his law (s)he meditates day and night. (s)He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields fruit in its season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever (s)he does prospers.”
Monday, March 24, 2008
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Brilliant
TRANSCRIPT: OBAMA'S 'A MORE PERFECT UNION'
BARACK OBAMA
March 18, 2008 --
"We the people, in order to form a more perfect union."
Two hundred and twenty one years ago, in a hall that still stands across the street, a group of men gathered and, with these simple words, launched America's improbable experiment in democracy. Farmers and scholars; statesmen and patriots who had traveled across an ocean to escape tyranny and persecution finally made real their declaration of independence at a Philadelphia convention that lasted through the spring of 1787.
The document they produced was eventually signed but ultimately unfinished. It was stained by this nation's original sin of slavery, a question that divided the colonies and brought the convention to a stalemate until the founders chose to allow the slave trade to continue for at least twenty more years, and to leave any final resolution to future generations.
Of course, the answer to the slavery question was already embedded within our Constitution – a Constitution that had at is very core the ideal of equal citizenship under the law; a Constitution that promised its people liberty, and justice, and a union that could be and should be perfected over time.
And yet words on a parchment would not be enough to deliver slaves from bondage, or provide men and women of every color and creed their full rights and obligations as citizens of the United States. What would be needed were Americans in successive generations who were willing to do their part – through protests and struggle, on the streets and in the courts, through a civil war and civil disobedience and always at great risk - to narrow that gap between the promise of our ideals and the reality of their time.
This was one of the tasks we set forth at the beginning of this campaign – to continue the long march of those who came before us, a march for a more just, more equal, more free, more caring and more prosperous America. I chose to run for the presidency at this moment in history because I believe deeply that we cannot solve the challenges of our time unless we solve them together – unless we perfect our union by understanding that we may have different stories, but we hold common hopes; that we may not look the same and we may not have come from the same place, but we all want to move in the same direction – towards a better future for of children and our grandchildren.
This belief comes from my unyielding faith in the decency and generosity of the American people. But it also comes from my own American story.
I am the son of a black man from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas. I was raised with the help of a white grandfather who survived a Depression to serve in Patton's Army during World War II and a white grandmother who worked on a bomber assembly line at Fort Leavenworth while he was overseas. I've gone to some of the best schools in America and lived in one of the world's poorest nations. I am married to a black American who carries within her the blood of slaves and slaveowners – an inheritance we pass on to our two precious daughters. I have brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, uncles and cousins, of every race and every hue, scattered across three continents, and for as long as I live, I will never forget that in no other country on Earth is my story even possible.
It's a story that hasn't made me the most conventional candidate. But it is a story that has seared into my genetic makeup the idea that this nation is more than the sum of its parts – that out of many, we are truly one.
Throughout the first year of this campaign, against all predictions to the contrary, we saw how hungry the American people were for this message of unity. Despite the temptation to view my candidacy through a purely racial lens, we won commanding victories in states with some of the whitest populations in the country. In South Carolina, where the Confederate Flag still flies, we built a powerful coalition of African Americans and white Americans.
This is not to say that race has not been an issue in the campaign. At various stages in the campaign, some commentators have deemed me either "too black" or "not black enough." We saw racial tensions bubble to the surface during the week before the South Carolina primary. The press has scoured every exit poll for the latest evidence of racial polarization, not just in terms of white and black, but black and brown as well.
And yet, it has only been in the last couple of weeks that the discussion of race in this campaign has taken a particularly divisive turn.
On one end of the spectrum, we've heard the implication that my candidacy is somehow an exercise in affirmative action; that it's based solely on the desire of wide-eyed liberals to purchase racial reconciliation on the cheap. On the other end, we've heard my former pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, use incendiary language to express views that have the potential not only to widen the racial divide, but views that denigrate both the greatness and the goodness of our nation; that rightly offend white and black alike.
I have already condemned, in unequivocal terms, the statements of Reverend Wright that have caused such controversy. For some, nagging questions remain. Did I know him to be an occasionally fierce critic of American domestic and foreign policy? Of course. Did I ever hear him make remarks that could be considered controversial while I sat in church? Yes. Did I strongly disagree with many of his political views? Absolutely – just as I'm sure many of you have heard remarks from your pastors, priests, or rabbis with which you strongly disagreed.
But the remarks that have caused this recent firestorm weren't simply controversial. They weren't simply a religious leader's effort to speak out against perceived injustice. Instead, they expressed a profoundly distorted view of this country – a view that sees white racism as endemic, and that elevates what is wrong with America above all that we know is right with America; a view that sees the conflicts in the Middle East as rooted primarily in the actions of stalwart allies like Israel, instead of emanating from the perverse and hateful ideologies of radical Islam.
As such, Reverend Wright's comments were not only wrong but divisive, divisive at a time when we need unity; racially charged at a time when we need to come together to solve a set of monumental problems – two wars, a terrorist threat, a falling economy, a chronic health care crisis and potentially devastating climate change; problems that are neither black or white or Latino or Asian, but rather problems that confront us all.
Given my background, my politics, and my professed values and ideals, there will no doubt be those for whom my statements of condemnation are not enough. Why associate myself with Reverend Wright in the first place, they may ask? Why not join another church? And I confess that if all that I knew of Reverend Wright were the snippets of those sermons that have run in an endless loop on the television and You Tube, or if Trinity United Church of Christ conformed to the caricatures being peddled by some commentators, there is no doubt that I would react in much the same way
But the truth is, that isn't all that I know of the man. The man I met more than twenty years ago is a man who helped introduce me to my Christian faith, a man who spoke to me about our obligations to love one another; to care for the sick and lift up the poor. He is a man who served his country as a U.S. Marine; who has studied and lectured at some of the finest universities and seminaries in the country, and who for over thirty years led a church that serves the community by doing God's work here on Earth – by housing the homeless, ministering to the needy, providing day care services and scholarships and prison ministries, and reaching out to those suffering from HIV/AIDS.
In my first book, Dreams From My Father, I described the experience of my first service at Trinity:
"People began to shout, to rise from their seats and clap and cry out, a forceful wind carrying the reverend's voice up into the rafters….And in that single note – hope! – I heard something else; at the foot of that cross, inside the thousands of churches across the city, I imagined the stories of ordinary black people merging with the stories of David and Goliath, Moses and Pharaoh, the Christians in the lion's den, Ezekiel's field of dry bones. Those stories – of survival, and freedom, and hope – became our story, my story; the blood that had spilled was our blood, the tears our tears; until this black church, on this bright day, seemed once more a vessel carrying the story of a people into future generations and into a larger world. Our trials and triumphs became at once unique and universal, black and more than black; in chronicling our journey, the stories and songs gave us a means to reclaim memories that we didn't need to feel shame about…memories that all people might study and cherish – and with which we could start to rebuild."
That has been my experience at Trinity. Like other predominantly black churches across the country, Trinity embodies the black community in its entirety – the doctor and the welfare mom, the model student and the former gang-banger. Like other black churches, Trinity's services are full of raucous laughter and sometimes bawdy humor. They are full of dancing, clapping, screaming and shouting that may seem jarring to the untrained ear. The church contains in full the kindness and cruelty, the fierce intelligence and the shocking ignorance, the struggles and successes, the love and yes, the bitterness and bias that make up the black experience in America.
And this helps explain, perhaps, my relationship with Reverend Wright. As imperfect as he may be, he has been like family to me. He strengthened my faith, officiated my wedding, and baptized my children. Not once in my conversations with him have I heard him talk about any ethnic group in derogatory terms, or treat whites with whom he interacted with anything but courtesy and respect. He contains within him the contradictions – the good and the bad – of the community that he has served diligently for so many years.
I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community. I can no more disown him than I can my white grandmother – a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe.
These people are a part of me. And they are a part of America, this country that I love.
Some will see this as an attempt to justify or excuse comments that are simply inexcusable. I can assure you it is not. I suppose the politically safe thing would be to move on from this episode and just hope that it fades into the woodwork. We can dismiss Reverend Wright as a crank or a demagogue, just as some have dismissed Geraldine Ferraro, in the aftermath of her recent statements, as harboring some deep-seated racial bias.
But race is an issue that I believe this nation cannot afford to ignore right now. We would be making the same mistake that Reverend Wright made in his offending sermons about America – to simplify and stereotype and amplify the negative to the point that it distorts reality.
The fact is that the comments that have been made and the issues that have surfaced over the last few weeks reflect the complexities of race in this country that we've never really worked through – a part of our union that we have yet to perfect. And if we walk away now, if we simply retreat into our respective corners, we will never be able to come together and solve challenges like health care, or education, or the need to find good jobs for every American.
Understanding this reality requires a reminder of how we arrived at this point. As William Faulkner once wrote, "The past isn't dead and buried. In fact, it isn't even past." We do not need to recite here the history of racial injustice in this country. But we do need to remind ourselves that so many of the disparities that exist in the African-American community today can be directly traced to inequalities passed on from an earlier generation that suffered under the brutal legacy of slavery and Jim Crow.
Segregated schools were, and are, inferior schools; we still haven't fixed them, fifty years after Brown v. Board of Education, and the inferior education they provided, then and now, helps explain the pervasive achievement gap between today's black and white students.
Legalized discrimination - where blacks were prevented, often through violence, from owning property, or loans were not granted to African-American business owners, or black homeowners could not access FHA mortgages, or blacks were excluded from unions, or the police force, or fire departments – meant that black families could not amass any meaningful wealth to bequeath to future generations. That history helps explain the wealth and income gap between black and white, and the concentrated pockets of poverty that persists in so many of today's urban and rural communities.
A lack of economic opportunity among black men, and the shame and frustration that came from not being able to provide for one's family, contributed to the erosion of black families – a problem that welfare policies for many years may have worsened. And the lack of basic services in so many urban black neighborhoods – parks for kids to play in, police walking the beat, regular garbage pick-up and building code enforcement – all helped create a cycle of violence, blight and neglect that continue to haunt us.
This is the reality in which Reverend Wright and other African-Americans of his generation grew up. They came of age in the late fifties and early sixties, a time when segregation was still the law of the land and opportunity was systematically constricted. What's remarkable is not how many failed in the face of discrimination, but rather how many men and women overcame the odds; how many were able to make a way out of no way for those like me who would come after them.
But for all those who scratched and clawed their way to get a piece of the American Dream, there were many who didn't make it – those who were ultimately defeated, in one way or another, by discrimination. That legacy of defeat was passed on to future generations – those young men and increasingly young women who we see standing on street corners or languishing in our prisons, without hope or prospects for the future. Even for those blacks who did make it, questions of race, and racism, continue to define their worldview in fundamental ways. For the men and women of Reverend Wright's generation, the memories of humiliation and doubt and fear have not gone away; nor has the anger and the bitterness of those years. That anger may not get expressed in public, in front of white co-workers or white friends. But it does find voice in the barbershop or around the kitchen table. At times, that anger is exploited by politicians, to gin up votes along racial lines, or to make up for a politician's own failings.
And occasionally it finds voice in the church on Sunday morning, in the pulpit and in the pews. The fact that so many people are surprised to hear that anger in some of Reverend Wright's sermons simply reminds us of the old truism that the most segregated hour in American life occurs on Sunday morning. That anger is not always productive; indeed, all too often it distracts attention from solving real problems; it keeps us from squarely facing our own complicity in our condition, and prevents the African-American community from forging the alliances it needs to bring about real change. But the anger is real; it is powerful; and to simply wish it away, to condemn it without understanding its roots, only serves to widen the chasm of misunderstanding that exists between the races.
In fact, a similar anger exists within segments of the white community. Most working- and middle-class white Americans don't feel that they have been particularly privileged by their race. Their experience is the immigrant experience – as far as they're concerned, no one's handed them anything, they've built it from scratch. They've worked hard all their lives, many times only to see their jobs shipped overseas or their pension dumped after a lifetime of labor. They are anxious about their futures, and feel their dreams slipping away; in an era of stagnant wages and global competition, opportunity comes to be seen as a zero sum game, in which your dreams come at my expense. So when they are told to bus their children to a school across town; when they hear that an African American is getting an advantage in landing a good job or a spot in a good college because of an injustice that they themselves never committed; when they're told that their fears about crime in urban neighborhoods are somehow prejudiced, resentment builds over time.
Like the anger within the black community, these resentments aren't always expressed in polite company. But they have helped shape the political landscape for at least a generation. Anger over welfare and affirmative action helped forge the Reagan Coalition. Politicians routinely exploited fears of crime for their own electoral ends. Talk show hosts and conservative commentators built entire careers unmasking bogus claims of racism while dismissing legitimate discussions of racial injustice and inequality as mere political correctness or reverse racism.
Just as black anger often proved counterproductive, so have these white resentments distracted attention from the real culprits of the middle class squeeze – a corporate culture rife with inside dealing, questionable accounting practices, and short-term greed; a Washington dominated by lobbyists and special interests; economic policies that favor the few over the many. And yet, to wish away the resentments of white Americans, to label them as misguided or even racist, without recognizing they are grounded in legitimate concerns – this too widens the racial divide, and blocks the path to understanding.
This is where we are right now. It's a racial stalemate we've been stuck in for years. Contrary to the claims of some of my critics, black and white, I have never been so naïve as to believe that we can get beyond our racial divisions in a single election cycle, or with a single candidacy – particularly a candidacy as imperfect as my own.
But I have asserted a firm conviction – a conviction rooted in my faith in God and my faith in the American people – that working together we can move beyond some of our old racial wounds, and that in fact we have no choice is we are to continue on the path of a more perfect union.
For the African-American community, that path means embracing the burdens of our past without becoming victims of our past. It means continuing to insist on a full measure of justice in every aspect of American life. But it also means binding our particular grievances – for better health care, and better schools, and better jobs - to the larger aspirations of all Americans -- the white woman struggling to break the glass ceiling, the white man whose been laid off, the immigrant trying to feed his family. And it means taking full responsibility for own lives – by demanding more from our fathers, and spending more time with our children, and reading to them, and teaching them that while they may face challenges and discrimination in their own lives, they must never succumb to despair or cynicism; they must always believe that they can write their own destiny.
Ironically, this quintessentially American – and yes, conservative – notion of self-help found frequent expression in Reverend Wright's sermons. But what my former pastor too often failed to understand is that embarking on a program of self-help also requires a belief that society can change.
The profound mistake of Reverend Wright's sermons is not that he spoke about racism in our society. It's that he spoke as if our society was static; as if no progress has been made; as if this country – a country that has made it possible for one of his own members to run for the highest office in the land and build a coalition of white and black; Latino and Asian, rich and poor, young and old -- is still irrevocably bound to a tragic past. But what we know -- what we have seen – is that America can change. That is true genius of this nation. What we have already achieved gives us hope – the audacity to hope – for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.
In the white community, the path to a more perfect union means acknowledging that what ails the African-American community does not just exist in the minds of black people; that the legacy of discrimination - and current incidents of discrimination, while less overt than in the past - are real and must be addressed. Not just with words, but with deeds – by investing in our schools and our communities; by enforcing our civil rights laws and ensuring fairness in our criminal justice system; by providing this generation with ladders of opportunity that were unavailable for previous generations. It requires all Americans to realize that your dreams do not have to come at the expense of my dreams; that investing in the health, welfare, and education of black and brown and white children will ultimately help all of America prosper.
In the end, then, what is called for is nothing more, and nothing less, than what all the world's great religions demand – that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Let us be our brother's keeper, Scripture tells us. Let us be our sister's keeper. Let us find that common stake we all have in one another, and let our politics reflect that spirit as well.
For we have a choice in this country. We can accept a politics that breeds division, and conflict, and cynicism. We can tackle race only as spectacle – as we did in the OJ trial – or in the wake of tragedy, as we did in the aftermath of Katrina - or as fodder for the nightly news. We can play Reverend Wright's sermons on every channel, every day and talk about them from now until the election, and make the only question in this campaign whether or not the American people think that I somehow believe or sympathize with his most offensive words. We can pounce on some gaffe by a Hillary supporter as evidence that she's playing the race card, or we can speculate on whether white men will all flock to John McCain in the general election regardless of his policies.
We can do that.
But if we do, I can tell you that in the next election, we'll be talking about some other distraction. And then another one. And then another one. And nothing will change.
That is one option. Or, at this moment, in this election, we can come together and say, "Not this time." This time we want to talk about the crumbling schools that are stealing the future of black children and white children and Asian children and Hispanic children and Native American children. This time we want to reject the cynicism that tells us that these kids can't learn; that those kids who don't look like us are somebody else's problem. The children of America are not those kids, they are our kids, and we will not let them fall behind in a 21st century economy. Not this time.
This time we want to talk about how the lines in the Emergency Room are filled with whites and blacks and Hispanics who do not have health care; who don't have the power on their own to overcome the special interests in Washington, but who can take them on if we do it together.
This time we want to talk about the shuttered mills that once provided a decent life for men and women of every race, and the homes for sale that once belonged to Americans from every religion, every region, every walk of life. This time we want to talk about the fact that the real problem is not that someone who doesn't look like you might take your job; it's that the corporation you work for will ship it overseas for nothing more than a profit.
This time we want to talk about the men and women of every color and creed who serve together, and fight together, and bleed together under the same proud flag. We want to talk about how to bring them home from a war that never should've been authorized and never should've been waged, and we want to talk about how we'll show our patriotism by caring for them, and their families, and giving them the benefits they have earned.
I would not be running for President if I didn't believe with all my heart that this is what the vast majority of Americans want for this country. This union may never be perfect, but generation after generation has shown that it can always be perfected. And today, whenever I find myself feeling doubtful or cynical about this possibility, what gives me the most hope is the next generation – the young people whose attitudes and beliefs and openness to change have already made history in this election.
There is one story in particularly that I'd like to leave you with today – a story I told when I had the great honor of speaking on Dr. King's birthday at his home church, Ebenezer Baptist, in Atlanta.
There is a young, twenty-three year old white woman named Ashley Baia who organized for our campaign in Florence, South Carolina. She had been working to organize a mostly African-American community since the beginning of this campaign, and one day she was at a roundtable discussion where everyone went around telling their story and why they were there.
And Ashley said that when she was nine years old, her mother got cancer. And because she had to miss days of work, she was let go and lost her health care. They had to file for bankruptcy, and that's when Ashley decided that she had to do something to help her mom.
She knew that food was one of their most expensive costs, and so Ashley convinced her mother that what she really liked and really wanted to eat more than anything else was mustard and relish sandwiches. Because that was the cheapest way to eat.
She did this for a year until her mom got better, and she told everyone at the roundtable that the reason she joined our campaign was so that she could help the millions of other children in the country who want and need to help their parents too.
Now Ashley might have made a different choice. Perhaps somebody told her along the way that the source of her mother's problems were blacks who were on welfare and too lazy to work, or Hispanics who were coming into the country illegally. But she didn't. She sought out allies in her fight against injustice.
Anyway, Ashley finishes her story and then goes around the room and asks everyone else why they're supporting the campaign. They all have different stories and reasons. Many bring up a specific issue. And finally they come to this elderly black man who's been sitting there quietly the entire time. And Ashley asks him why he's there. And he does not bring up a specific issue. He does not say health care or the economy. He does not say education or the war. He does not say that he was there because of Barack Obama. He simply says to everyone in the room, "I am here because of Ashley."
"I'm here because of Ashley." By itself, that single moment of recognition between that young white girl and that old black man is not enough. It is not enough to give health care to the sick, or jobs to the jobless, or education to our children.
But it is where we start. It is where our union grows stronger. And as so many generations have come to realize over the course of the two-hundred and twenty one years since a band of patriots signed that document in Philadelphia, that is where the perfection begins."
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
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Book Review
My Assignment for 3/12: Post your book review written for this class somewhere on-line. Print copy of the posting. Include in your portfolio.
America’s Health Care System Is Overdue for a Check-Up:
A Review of Donald L. Barlett and James B. Steele’s Book Critical Condition: How Health Care in America Became Big Business – and Bad Medicine
Mason McIlnay was a kindergartner living in Salem, Oregon. Leg aches began to plague him, and doctors soon discovered he had a serious childhood cancer called neuroblastoma. Mason was very sick, and nothing saddens the heart more than hearing about a sick child. He needed immediate treatment. Unfortunately, Mason’s family falls among the masses of 43 million uninsured Americans, an estimate agreed upon by experts.
Mason’s mother held the mother-of-all garage sales with the hopes of bringing in enough money to pay the tens of thousands of dollars they owed for his treatments. She made enough profit to put a dent in the mountain of debt she had been carrying, but not enough to lift the entire weight off her tired shoulders. She must continue to make huge payments for years to come. This is one of many heart-breaking stories found in Donald L. Barlett and James B. Steele’s latest book, Critical Condition: How Health Care in America Became Big Business – and Bad Medicine (Doubleday, 2004, 304 pgs.) These in-your-face accounts of despair force readers to consider how this supposedly great country could abandon so many needy and sick Americans.
Critical Condition is a reproachful analysis of America’s health care system and the damaging attempt to improve health care in America by using a market-based approach. Barlett and Steele write, “What does it say about the richest country on earth that its citizens must depend on raffles and spaghetti dinners to pay the medical bills – a situation that exists in no other civilized country?”(12). Critical Condition goes on to explain, America’s health care costs more than any other country’s: 15 percent of gross domestic product in 2003. Yet, when comparing lifespan in terms of years of healthy living, Americans rank 29th among nations – between Slovenia and Portugal. “In sum, Americans pay for a Hummer but get a Ford Escort,” writes Barlett and Steele (13). Sadly, they do not get around to offering a solution until the last fifteen pages of the book. This latest collaboration by the authors effectively shows how America’s health care is failing miserably, but without much attention given to possible solutions, readers are left feeling hopeless.
This bleak examination of America’s health care is the seventh book by the Pulitzer prize-winning investigative team. These men have been working together for over thirty years: first at the Philadelphia Inquirer, then at Time magazine, and now at Vanity Fair. (barlettandsteele.com). They are the authors of the 1992 book America: What Went Wrong, an analysis of the apparent trend toward a middle class decline, which spent eight months on the New York Times bestseller list. Describing Barlett and Steele’s approach in America: What Went Wrong, Remesh Ponnuru commented in the National Review that the authors prefer “to tell economic history as a morality play, with venal politicians and greedy, short-sighted CEOs ganging up on working stiffs.” Story-telling is an effective method of selling an idea, and seems to be a favored approach of the authors in many of their works. Working together for so many years has obviously refined their teamwork and deepened their investigative ability. Barlett and Steele are experienced in digging deep to discover things the average American citizen would not likely find otherwise.
Barlett and Steele provide plenty of true stories to demonstrate their points, to help readers relate and perhaps even be moved to compassion. Like the story of Jack and Donna Brown. Donna, a waitress, was uninsured but needed colon surgery. Her hospital bill was a whopping $57,000 that she just could not pay. The hospital sued, and she lost her home. The authors then follow a horrific story such as this with strong supporting evidence of the problem at hand.
Without fail, Barlett and Steele provide gripping evidence that proves the truly critical condition of our health care system. Barlett and Steele state, “Nearly one of every three dollars now spent on health care goes for administration” (170). The book explains that American consumers pay more for fewer benefits while contending with a lack of choice in providers and prices. Frustrated patients and Physicians are dealing with billing chaos and confusion caused by the excessive number of health plans. To increase profit, providers overcharge the uninsured and limit hospital stays with overly restrictive guidelines. Pressured hospitals dangerously cut costs by cutting number of staff and supplies and reducing sterilization. Undertrained and overworked nurses make frightening mistakes. The media contributes to the problem as well, Barlett and Steel suggest, by urging people to undergo countless unnecessary tests and causing an overuse of the system, which drives up prices. Pharmaceutical giants push off-label prescriptions (untested combinations of tested drugs like the infamous fenphen) and the FDA has suspiciously slow response times to side-affect concerns. HMO and hospital chain CEO’s seem to care more about the bottom line and their own lavish lifestyles than they do about the lives of their fellow American citizens. And all this madness is because, Barlett and Steele propose, in the end anyone who has any power in this crazy system ultimately chooses their pocketbook over morality. “At best it’s a costly and wasteful system that siphons off precious health care dollars. At worst, it causes injury and death” (159). Page after page, chapter after chapter, the authors give shocking examples of the system’s complete failure.
Aptly included in the title, Critical Condition: How Health Care in America Became Big Business – and Bad Medicine, are the words “big business and bad medicine” – an unfortunate combination for American citizens. In Critical Condition, Barlett and Steele explain that corporate decisions at a marketing company, for example, “may have economic consequences affecting the paychecks, dividends, or stock options of workers, executives and investors.” However, “the same decisions in a health care company are matters of life and death” (154). The book’s title effectively echoes this belief.
Critical Condition is written for not only politicians and physicians (though they should absolutely read it) but for average American health care consumers. Their writing style is easy for those average citizens to understand and achieves the authors’ desired response: won over by the authors’ persuasiveness, rallied proponents are ready for change – although readers may not realize they have not been given all the information they need. In the conservative-leaning Newsweek magazine, Robert J. Samuelson states that Barlett and Steele tend to “report matters so selectively – with so little attention to conflicting evidence or any larger context – that ordinary readers are misled.” Surely the authors are not trying to mislead, but the selective nature with which they offer information fails to fully equip average readers who are attempting to shape informed opinions.
The authority with which Barlett and Steele present their case against a market approach to care comes from the depth to which they have researched this topic. Critical Condition is full of facts and studies with seven pages of sources at the end. Marie D. Jones writes in her review of the book for curledup.com, “All of the shocking information in this tragic, but utterly critical book points to one thing. We are on the verge of a major disaster here in the United States, a disaster that will cripple our economy and leave millions ill and without proper care.” The plethora of facts is almost dizzying, and because so little conflicting evidence is presented, the many facts sway readers that what is being read is God’s truth.
So what are readers to do with all this information – demand change from the country’s leaders? Okay, but what kind of change? Barlett and Steele propose a single payer system (read: universal health care coverage) to correct all of this. Readers may find that this book pushes them to elect leaders who have health care reform as a top priority. Reading Critical Condition will cause one to believe that conservatives and other opponents to universalized care simply do not realize that adopting universal coverage would not be a radical move for America. “We already have universal health care for everybody aged sixty-five and over: It’s called Medicare” (138). According to the authors, universal coverage would not mean communist medicine either; rather it would bring American citizens up to par with the other industrial countries and their dedication to providing good health to all people. Jocelyn Chao said it well, albeit through sarcasm, in her editorial on universal health care for The Onion, “What will they tell us next – that everyone deserves a free public education and the ‘right’ to a fair trial?” Americans who believe all people are created equal may conclude that providing universal coverage to all is a very worthwhile goal for America.
Sounds great, except how exactly does that work again? The plan recommended in Critical Condition seems intangible. The short 15-page final chapter devoted to the Author’s solution titled “Remedy” falls short of expectations. Bruce P. Hurter M.D. writes for Psychiatric Services, “Critical Condition is particularly strong in its presentation and documentation of the ‘costs’ of modern medicine,” but it “less clearly presents a framework for remedy” (Hurter). Barlett and Steele mention other countries that benefit from single-payer systems, and an overview of how Canada, Sweden or Japan run their health care programs could have provided some needed clarity. A chapter devoted to examining a working universal health care system could have painted a picture for readers of how it might also work for America. Had they included more support to their claims, Barlett and Steele could have pushed readers from thinking, “Hmm… sounds interesting,” to crying out, “What are we waiting for?”
Despite a weak close, Barlett and Steele have done an outstanding job at presenting their case against America’s Health Care system. Critical Condition: How Health Care in America Became Big Business – and Bad Medicine thoroughly convinces readers of the grave shortcomings of the current system. In the end, Critical Condition is a book full of frightening health care horror stories with no happy ending in sight. Sweet Dreams.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
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Tell of His goodness
Our pastor is a man I deeply respect. He walks with God in a way I have seen in very few people throughout my life. Our church has a time of testimonies every week - when people tell of the good things God has done, and a week ago, Pastor Mike asked Andrew if he and I would share a testimony the following Sunday. After some thought, and preparation, we did just that a few days ago. Andrew shared first, then me. The response was overwhelming. And I haven't stopped thinking about it since. Writing out a testimony is a very spiritual experience and I cannot help but get shaken up every time I read it. What follows is my portion of our testimony:
"I’ll start my story a few years ago. Andrew and I were leading a fairly comfortable life. We had two kids and a mortgage. We attended church regularly, and were involved with the youth and/or music ministries.
However, I began to develop issues of unforgiveness – I was judging others who, ironically, I felt were judging me unfairly. Going to church was no longer an enjoyable experience; I just did not want to be around all those people pretending to love me, while I was convinced that they didn’t.
Never did I consider that they may be loving me the best they knew how. I felt very alone. I was unhappy, yet I wasn’t reflecting on the fact that my unhappiness could be connected to this critical and unforgiving attitude I had.
Somehow, God got it through my thick skull that as long as I kept praying and reading the Bible, I would eventually find the peace I knew He wanted for me. After a while God revealed to me that I was missing something – namely His purpose and calling for me. My general distrust in people was jabbing was away at any effectiveness I could have representing Christ to others. He hadn’t called me to be the bitter woman I was becoming. He wanted more for me than barely surviving on each Sunday’s message, choked off from the love of my brothers and sisters in Christ.
I got on my knees – on my face – and prayed and wept, and God began to forgive my pride and heal my bitterness. My eyes opened wide to my sin, and God gave to me the precious gift of a repentant heart. I was aware of the forgiveness that was available to me as a direct result of me forgiving others. Forgiving people who had hurt me and forgiving myself for how I acted in return, is an experience I will treasure always. Because truly, I was not free, and I had not been living until I was forgiven by Christ, who shed his blood for me.
That experience taught me something I thought I already knew: I cannot do Christianity on my own terms. Now that I had learned this lesson of forgiveness, it was clear that over the past few years, I had been settling for status quo Christianity, and I wanted a change. God called me to rise up, to be a woman of prayer, to give Him my all – and stop thinking I have to handle everything on my own. The only way I was going to feel alive again was through prayer and complete devotion to Him. For His great sacrifice of giving His son to die for my sins, I can give nothing less.
Instead of living for my own happiness, I want to be used by God to represent His shining light to people around me. I want my life to reflect God’s love. I have learned the beauty of loving people where they are at, and not expecting others to be perfect – anymore than I am perfect. It is not my place to judge anyone else, or his or her walk with God, but to place my trust in Him.
Andrew and I came together in prayer as we sought God for wisdom, grace and direction. He led us back to Woodlawn, the church we had left a couple years before. I was a very good thing.
I am so thankful God grabbed hold of us when He did. We have seen the power of prayer in our finances, in our children, in our relationships, and in our faith as it increases more than we could have thought possible. We were experiencing some serious financial struggles not too long ago and we prayed, and mediated on scriptures, and God blew away our expectations again and again.
And it’s all because of the power of prayer. When we are people of prayer, God can work in us and through us. The more I learn of his Grace, the more desperate I become for Him to use me.
I want to end with a scripture that has been on my mind the past couple weeks: Matt. 16:24-25 'Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.'
Amen!"
God is so holy, so good.
Monday, March 10, 2008
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I am striving to remember my purpose - minute by crazy minute.





