| When a person loses herself so deeply in love, giving in completely to something that is so incredible, so sweet and innocent, these feelings she never thought she could find once but twice, she revels in the warmth that basks her, smiling contently as her heart is full to brim. But to be pushed and shoved back up to a cold surface, to have everything she fought and worked for to this point thrown back in her face, she finds herself gasping for breath, a burning sensation envelope her and she swears she can poke all of a finger into that hole in her heart that must be why she feels so empty yet find it to hurt so much. When a person feels so lost, so alone, and confused it’s ironic how she’s forced to go back to the last time she really felt wholesome…back to a person she now hates, loathes with a passion because he took the best of her and never gave it back…`He` stole her youth, `He` took her love and abused it, abused her, punished her and still is. Back to `Him` to demand if `He` can ignore her pain, back to `Him` to demand if `He` can disregard these tears, back to `Him` to ask if `He` can overlook her anguish... I go back to him to ask please, please just give her back…because I’ve never wanted anything so badly in my life, I want her back to love `HIM` now because `He` took her as you left her, `He` taught her she could love again… `He` shared with her, `His` life, self, and family... `He` opened her eyes and ears to new and refreshing things. `He` lifted her from the bottomless pit you left her at. `He` stood her on high grounds and dried her tears and held her close until all she felt was the warmth and love `He` offered. And when `You` came to her again, she chose `Him`, and she would still choose the road she's taken time and time again... because what she sees in her heart is a lifetime with `Him`, because even that wouldn't be enough to spend each day with `Him`, happy. but I just want her back… please, please just give her back. Even if you don’t have her anymore, and she’s lost somewhere out there, help me remember… because you took her away from me.
And so I keep my vow of silence; I give my happiness for `Yours`. Even if the only time I will ever feel `Your` arms around me, or `Your` lips against mine is when I close my eyes, so be it. But I ask of `You`, how am I to douse these feelings of betrayal… how do I erase this feeling of abandonment? To know that I would hold on to something great and fight it for all it's worth because I want this, I want `You`... but to always see your backside... to always see your figure so far away. Who do I forgive first… You` for leaving or me for letting `You`? |
