My_SeCrEt_Heart_101's Xanga

Friday, June 11, 2004

Fri, 11 Jun 2004 16:09:58 GMT

New xanga

Check it out ;]

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Thu, 10 Jun 2004 17:33:02 GMT

one step closer to heaven

means one step closer to you.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Wed, 09 Jun 2004 12:57:48 GMT

I miss the summers when...

..we paid for food in change. And signed the napkin as "The barbie crew"
..we walked to 711 and bought food with change
..we 'swore to drunk were not god';
..we yelled at the cars for not going around us;
..we layed outside all night and looked at stars;
..we almost got raped by guys walking around at 3am;
..we talked about anything;
..we stayed over each other's houses every weekend;
..we watched spice world over and over again;
..we went to the mall almost everyday
..we talked about boys 90% of the time;
..we'd walk anywhere just to find something to do.

But most of all.. i miss the nights we spent talking for hours, promising each other we would be best friends forever

*Summer 04* ;]

Mystique fairy79: im outside waiting for u to come out and then im going to stab you and then hide your body in a trashbag
Mystique fairy79: and throw it into the river
Mystique fairy79: and no one will ever know

^ i love you too Kait.

Says he wants you
He says he needs you
It's real talking why not make him wait for you
If he really wants you
If he really needs you
Really got to have you
Take your time and feel him out
When hes a good boy
I mean a really really good boy
Why not let him lay with you
That's when you give it to him good

Dip it low
Pick it up slow
Roll it all around
Poke it out like your back broke
Pop pop pop that thing
I'ma show you how to make your man say OOOooo

>Thats so fetch!<

lmao Hannah.

Sunday, June 06, 2004

Sun, 06 Jun 2004 13:15:01 GMT

i'm searching for reasons, to keep away the demons. and i'd die again for you. i wish you were near me, can you feel it when you hear me say... i'd die again for you.

My Sami is gone. and she wont be back for 2-3 months. Shes gone in-patient, at an eating disorder center. &im at a loss of what im going to do without her. shes one of the few people I can tell everything to. Im not sure what im gonna do without her.

i figured all of the memories were proof enough to maybe open your eyes from the people you think hold your trust. do you ever smile and find it shameful, cause you dont know who you are? well im glad you never told me, you dont need to be anybody else... i like who you are.

&I guess im telling Dave tomorrow? <3333

You see me tonight, arms left out to hold you so tight, you see me here, eyes are leading hearts [without fear]. And then I know, you are here. Feelings come out, your voice shuns all of the doubt - you see me now, you can't even tell how much I feel for you, or how the sound of your voice gives me butterflies. So try this, so try me, touch my lips, and you'll see. Shades of red, of blue, of light, of dark, all of the shades of loves first start, out on the bay on the roof tops tonight: you can see at loves first start * you are there.

^ hottness. <333

and this time when he drives on aimlessly to unfamiliar places, it won't be alone. this time she will hold his hand. because they're still young.

and she's still trying to convince herself that

[someday a boy will want her for nothing more than what she is] someday a boy will like her without malicious intentions. someday a boy will l o v e her, as fucked up as she is.

she's got to be careful. the last guy who promised to tape up her heart, took the

scissors instead & hung the pieces on

her wall. it was art.

^ gotta love that movie

Saturday, June 05, 2004

Sat, 05 Jun 2004 16:51:13 GMT

^ Kris Lemche .. verrrrry hott. <3333

Ginger Snaps is a great movie .. go watch it .. nowwww

Friday, June 04, 2004

Fri, 04 Jun 2004 20:47:17 GMT

Your vows of silence fall all over, the look in your eyes makes me crazy. I feel the darkness break upon him. i’ll take you over if you let me (you did this). tidal waves they rip right through me. tears from eyes worn cold and sad, pick me up now, I need you so bad.

I’ll always love you.
And I’ll always be there.

Please don’t ever forget that.

Starlight, starbright first star I see tonight

I wish I may, I wish I might have the wish

I wish tonight the birthday girl

a broken heart you name the drama

she played the part long lost demons leave her godless

like her powder leaves her flawless

sugar coated heart shaped pout lipstick

just distorts her mouth

mascara puts her eyes asleep

cause beauty is only skin deep

Why do your eyes paralyze me.. What makes me feel this way . Just carry me away with silence and heartbeats, as rapid thinking about your embrace and how it makes me feel I just want to feel this way forever

im not sure what it is about you, but you’ve got me falling head over heels.

Thursday, June 03, 2004

Thu, 03 Jun 2004 21:22:08 GMT

you've got me falling faster, than i've ever fell before. <3

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Tue, 01 Jun 2004 15:00:00 GMT

boy: i saw her today

girl: i saw him today

boy: it seems like its been forever

girl: i wonder if he still cares.

boy: she looks better than before

girl: i couldnt help staring at him

boy: i asked her how things were going

girl: i asked about his new girlfriend

boy: id choose her over any girl im with

girl: hes probably really happy now

boy: i couldnt look at her without starting to cry

girl: he couldnt even look at me

boy: i told her i missed her

girl: he doesnt miss me

boy: i meant it

girl: he didnt mean it

boy: i love her

girl: he loves his new girlfriend

boy: i held her for the last time

girl: he gave me a friendly hug

boy: then i went home and cried

girl: then i went home and cried

boy: i lost her

girl: i love him<333

and they said...
"Could somebody show me the kind of affection
that you only see in the movies, you know what I mean"

I think I have found myself a new crush .. It’s a start to a new begining. <333

cm*sl*mw*sl*js*ky*js*km*rs*hb*sg

Best girlies ever.

a friend is someone who believes in you when you werent able to believe in yourself. <3

Monday, May 31, 2004

Mon, 31 May 2004 17:39:49 GMT

hey guyz im here to pledge my love to my d a r l i n g....hmmmmm u guessed it rAcHeL whatttt a doll ahhhhhh she just tickles me silly where to begin?!?!?! welllllll on the weekends shez kindA a SLutttt and on the other dayZZZ WELL hmmmm....yeah yeah im just kidding yall shes a good kidd...how can u resist that face?!?! lol

oki not trying to get all serious up in here butttt this stuff must be said...ooooh WHOA hold up would u look u showed up on my front lawn?!?!? omg what a honry lil faggg (although he is smoking and a mighty fine kisser) 100 points to whoever slaps the hott ass first !!!! LOL ahh good times

NOW where was I ....darling i am going to miss u so much seriously...more than any of my other friends, how long we've known eachother couldn't make a difference. I don't know what I'm going to do without you. Maaaan whenever i get on i just looooove seeing that ur on it makes me all tingly inside(woot woot) lol im gunna miss seeing ur name pop on my AIM! who will i call !!! ahhhhh ill try to write if i can....ill be thinking bouttt you hoping that you've come to kiddnapp me !!! lol
ahhh man im gunna cry...your just the sweetest person ever and i don't think i can do with out your lovin<3 thanks babe for being there when no one else was, for never turning ur back on me, for giving me a shoulder to cry on, making me laugh and smile like no one else can. gotta love the phone calls the boys *AHEM prince charming, the making fun, the being dorks...times i will never forget...u are truly an amazing beautiful person inside out and upside down lol the best person i know!!! and i mean with all my heart <3 u may not be perfect but ur good enough for me and i wouldnt like u any other way! i promise i wont forget u while im gone, i really think that would be impossible...
girl when ever u feel like giving up or something gets in ur way remember u can do it!!! u can do anything u want to! were gunna reach our goals toegether and ill be right there to catch ya if u feel like ur gunna fall...i promise i wont stop lovin u i'll be here always and forever! u know what U LIL WHORE (hehe) my life got better when i met u..its good to know that theres someone out there that really understands me (we share a heart my dear) ur so beautiful and such a truly amazing friend! i hope the best for u in everything u do bc u deserve it!
<333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 i
iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou and dont u forget it !!!
best friends forever & ever
~sami~ aka **sexxxxi beast** grrrrr lmao

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Thu, 27 May 2004 18:05:52 GMT

Send me inside your mind I wanna know what you're thinking. This time I'll try to be the one you always thought you knew. It's true-I'm blue-And without you- I'm not right-I'm not fine-I wanna be rain that tastes like wine, I wanna be good- I wanna be great- I wanna be everything except for your mistake- Let me into your view, i wanna know how you see this thing that's us. I must keep managing my madness over you. And I don't want your sympathy, just understanding. We'd be better off if I just took some time to try to understand you. I'm not right-I'm not fine-I wanna be rain that tastes like wine I wanna be seen - I wanna get clean - I wanna just fall out of in between. I'm not right. I don't wanna be your mistake.

well I guess by now he knows how I feel. I don’t think anything is gonna happen between us again, I guess I’ll just have to keep wishing on that falling star. &im not sure if he realizes just how much he means to me..

I can feel myself slipping away from the world...

The worst is over now. And we can breathe again. I wanna hold you high and steal my pain away. There's so much left to learn And no one left to fight. I wanna hold you high and steal your pain. Cause I'm broken when I'm open, &I don't feel like I am strong enough, cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome and I don't feel right when you're gone away.

iloveyou.

I wanted you to know
I love the way you laugh ... <3