Dear Xanga,

I realize that I've been away a lot lately. But I can explain.  See... the truth is that I've found a new place and I've been spending most of my time at my new residence unloading boxes, arranging the furniture and getting settled in.  It's a really nice neighborhood.  As a matter of fact, I've recently reconnect with more than 40 of my friends from elementary and Jr High School. 

That's something I could never seem to do with any success in the scattered villages of Xanga.  But I realize that isn't really your fault.  I mean, it wasn't the original purpose of Xanga, so I don't hold it against you.  You provided a safe haven for my thoughts and major life milestones and for that I am forever grateful.  Still, I want you to know that in all the blogosphere, you have always been and will continue to be my first love.  This is where I grew up and my journal entries, along with our wonderful memories together, will forever reside here. 

So even though I'll be living somewhere else,  I will do my best to visit you as often as I'm able.  Even so, I'm hoping at some point you'll forgive me enough to come visit me at my new home.  The key's under the mat.  Just let yourself in.  I'll be waiting.

Warm regards,

Riis

DOVE THOUGHTS: SHADES OF GRAY

For those of you who don’t know (and less for those who don’t care ) neither Drebbah nor myself consider ourselves fully any one race.  What I mean is this…

On my side, my mother is of Choctaw Indian and Irish descent.  Her maternal grandfather was a first generation pale Irish immigrant with green eyes and her grandmother could’ve been named Pocahontas.  You should see pictures of my mother when she was younger.  She had long raven-black hair all the way down her back, and the most beautiful sun-kissed blemish-free skin you could ever wish for.  My father has similar ancestry.  Although his father was a very dark-skinned man, his maternal grandmother was the true definition of a red-skinned woman from Missouri. As a percentage, I’d say African actually comprises maybe 10 to 15% of who I am.  And that’s being generous.  But yet, for all intents and purposes, I am considered a black man in the best sense

On Dre’s side; her father was born in Philly and has blue eyes because of his paternal and maternal grandparents.  As a matter of fact, every single one of his siblings has either blue or green eyes and now they all have stark white wavy hair.  Have you ever seen a naturally blond, green-eyed boy with a deep brown complexion?  Those are Dre’s nephews whose mother would often be questioned about whether or not they were her kids because she has deep brown eyes and black hair.  Dre’s mother was actually born in Canada and is of German descent.  Her mother actually has dual-citizenship (which I didn’t know could be passed on to your children. Hmm... ).  Still, Dre does not feel the need to choose between black and white, but rather fully embraces all of her heritage.

My point is that people often look at us and have already determined that I’m either 1) Black or 2) Hispanic, and she’s either 1) Anglo or 2) Jewish.  We somehow reflect what people consider the stereotypical interracial couple.  Wow.  Really??  I would think that based on the multitude of places around the world that each of us could trace our roots we’re probably more alike than we are different.  It’s fascinating when you think about it.  I just wonder why there’s a tendency to stop there when there’s so much more to our ethnic story.  I mean, what are we really?  Dre’s father identifies himself as black, but she is rarely if EVER described that way by others.  Most people don’t even bother to ask her ethnicity.  Maybe it’s because in lieu of the possible embarrassment of being wrong, it’s easier to assume.  But still it begs the question: Are we considered a particular race based on our ancestry or purely because of our complexion?  Something tells me it’s more the latter than the former.

I have to wonder what people will say about Aaron.  Being of such diverse ancestry, he probably epitomizes those who legitimately check the “other” box when identifying themselves on most forms.  We will never force Aaron to identify more with any one race.  Beside, I think culture, in it’s most basic form, is determined more by how and where you are raised, than what country your ancestors come from.  In that vein, I pray that Aaron will remain a comfortable shade of gray and that he will grow to appreciate everything that came together to create the great man he will undoubtedly become.

I could go on... but I'll stop here.