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Using Faith Like an Acrobat...till the net breaks.
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Original: 5/4/2008 5:35 PM
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Sunday, May 04, 2008
 
Currently Listening
Just Like You
By Keb' Mo'
see related

Let's See If I Can Keep This Up

Alright, I'm going to try to keep posting.  I've got a lazy Sunday afternoon, I'm not tired enough to nap, but I don't feel like doing anything... so maybe I'll post.  There's a few things I want to post about, so this will wander and we'll see where it goes.  At some point I'll want to go back through the past few weekends, but that will be a long post and I don't feel like doing it now.

I will say that this past weekend, I played frisbee and my knee gave out on me (again).  I'm so sick of this injury.  I'm so sick of the guy who dove at my ankles and took me out almost two years ago.  I'm so sick of not being able to trust my legs when I run or jump.  I'm so sick of having to hold back, not give all I have because I don't know if my knee will handle that dive or that jump.  I'm so sick of giving all I have and having it put me on crutches.  I'm so sick of the doctor who told me my knee was fine and who wouldn't advise an MRI for me last fall.  I'm sick of it.  I don't understand how people can say our bodies are "perfectly designed" when our knees (and so many other body parts) break so easily.  I'm tired of it.  I can't even remember anymore what it was like to be able to run normally, to be able to jump without thinking about my knee, to be able to actually fake someone out and make a hard cut to the disc without worrying that I'd end up on the ground in agony.  Sometimes I think about just how different my life would have been without that one dive, that one day, that one second.

In other news.. a post I've put off for almost three months now.  So sometime.. I think back in February.. (yeah I've been lax on the posting) I was up in Minnesota hanging out with some friends.  And we played this game called "Would You Rather."  If you don't know the game, it's exactly like it sounds like: you ask people questions starting with Would You Rather, such as "Would you rather have maggots in your ears, or worms between your toes?"  There's different kinds of questions, from gross things to fun things to philosophical things.  I've played it in many forms in the past, but this was an actual boardgame with pieces and tons of questions on cards and other stuff.  We played one game, and then sat around and read the cards to each other.

One of the questions that came up was (and I don't remember the wording exactly, but hopefully I capture it well enough to maintain the meaning) "Would you rather be ignorant and happy, or know everything and be bitter?"  Almost immediately, I knew my answer was the second one.  Happiness based on a lie seems to me to be a far worse choice than knowing the truth.  I was about to say so, when almost everyone in the room simultaneously agreed that they'd rather be blissfully ignorant.  I was stunned... not only did some people think that, but every single one of them.  And they were so certain of it that they all answered immediately.

I know that I tend to have a different personality than many people.  I know that I'm more concerned with truth, with epistemology, with being accurate than the average person - even the average person in my group of friends (or even just those in my same social situation), who I think on the whole are more concerned with it than the average American.  But I cannot conceive of thinking that it is better unequivocally to abstain from learning or knowing or being accurate in order to be happy.  I have trouble understanding that point of view.  But, as Yudkowski says, if you truly cannot understand someone's motivations for doing what they do, then there is a problem with your view of the world that needs to be corrected.  So I spent a lot of time thinking about it.

My first thought is that they didn't really mean it.  Perhaps they didn't really understand what they were committing to when they said that.  I can almost guarantee that, had the question been slightly different but involved the same principles (such as "Would you rather a friend lie to you to make you happy, or be honest with you?") they would choose honesty, even if it made them unhappy.  As far as I can tell it's exactly the same principles at play: knowing the truth and being unhappy, or being blissfully ignorant.  I know that it's somewhat of a cultural meme to say that - "I'd rather you were honest with me even if it hurts my feelings."  It's one of those things that happens in TV sitcoms all the time, and that seems to be where many people get their relationship/friendship cues from these days.  But I really do think that in general, they'd rather know the truth.  So then why the difference between the small scale (knowing the truth from one friend) to the large scale (knowing all truth)?

Maybe it's that they foresee themselves recovering from the unhappiness that a harsh but truthful criticism from a friend brings.  Maybe they see it as only temporary, whereas the bitterness of knowing everything wouldn't ever go away - you can't un-know that.

And I guess when I think about it, I'm also breaking the rules of the game some.  The game stipulates that you can't alter the terms of the question or try to get around them.  For example, if one of the options was having tacks stuck in the bottom of your feet so it hurt when you walk, you couldn't choose that and then choose to be in a wheelchair the rest of your life - that's not the spirit of the question.  But when I think about "knowing everything and being bitter" I think it's a loaded question.  I think if you knew everything, you'd know exactly how to make yourself happy.  And beyond that, I find it hard to imagine knowing something that would make it impossible to be happy.  There's a lot of talk about how not believing in a deity is depressing, or that if we just cease to exist when we die then we should be nihilistic, but I manage to believe in neither a deity nor an afterlife and still live a fulfilling, happy life to the best of my ability.  I've quoted this particular episode of this show so many times, but zefrank says:
Gilbert says that your brain has the ability to synthesize happiness to bring you back up to your baseline regardless of the circumstance that you find yourself in. And the synthesized happiness is just as real as happiness created by external circumstance!
I can't see knowing the truth as ever being so depressing that you couldn't get yourself back up to your baseline happiness, no matter how depressing the truth might be.  That could just be a failure of my imagination though.

Now, the one thing I can see, that would really make me choose the first option: if I knew everything, there would be nothing left to learn.  Now, you could always choose the "happy and ignorant" option because then you'd have everything left to learn, but I think that too goes against the spirit of the question.  But for me, one of the biggest thrills is learning something new, finding out new things.  If you knew everything... that would be gone.  There would be nothing left to learn.  I could see that as being depressing.  And it makes me wonder if the human race will ever reach a point like that - if there's some limit to what can be known or learned.  It seems like a possibility if the singularity is ever reached, because not only will mental processing capabilities be increased massively (allowing the learning of far more things, as well as an increase in the speed at which we learn things), but subjective experience could end up much... slower?  faster?  I'm not sure what you'd call it, but people would experience what we know think of as one second as a much longer time frame due to faster thinking (which means even if our lives are the same length, it will feel like we live much longer and the average person will have far more experiences in a lifetime).  I suppose that's a problem that will have to be dealt with in the future.

I guess it just struck me that the people I consider my friends would choose that.  I've said it before, but for the most part I don't make friends with people who aren't intelligent, or don't care to think about things.  It sounds mean, but it's not a conscious thing - I just enjoy people who think about things more than people who don't.  So when all of these people answered that - almost immediately - it really caught me off-guard.  Especially since to me, thinking/knowing/learning is one of the most important things in my life.  Perhaps more than anything else.  So important that I got a tattoo about it.  I guess I just don't understand it - so I'm trying to refine my worldview.
 Posted 5/4/2008 5:35 PM - 17 comments

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17 Comments

Visit Agnostics_R_Us's Xanga Site!
I think you're reading too far into it, because basically the real question (in the spirit of things) is would you rather be happy or bitter? Naturally this is asking about a perpetual state of being for the sake of interpretive charity and in that event whatever happens to be the cause (info or little info) actually cancels out. So their response makes a lot more sense than yours does since you can't change the nature of the question. You can't start learning things based on your happiness to undo your ignorance and you can't use your exhaustive knowledge to make yourself happy or else you undermine the spirit of the question. For the record in this extreme case, I'd choose ignorance, because per the question that equals the only path to happiness. We can only assume it is actual happiness or else again the terms are undermined. Granted, remember, this scale is off the charts and virtually never applies to real living. All the in bounds sensibilities you put forth that would change the terms obviously apply otherwise and I would agree with you.

A truly diabolical choice that no one should ever be asked to make would be, "Would you willing suffer for all eternity if that meant everyone else lived in paradise forever? They wouldn't know about you and you would have no knowledge of your choice after you made it (and thus no solace)." Or the second option would be, "If you could live in paradise forever oblivious to the decision you'll make now, would you damn the entire rest of the human race to an eternity of hell?" How could you possibly accept your damnation? How could you possibly refuse paradise? If you honor the spirit of the question, you would probably do the worst possible thing imaginable to everyone and never know it.
Posted 5/4/2008 5:55 PM by Agnostics_R_Us Xanga Premium Member - reply

Visit TearsKeepAFalling's Xanga Site!
I love would you rather. And I would prefer the worms between the toes.

Is the happiness based on a lie, though? Or a lack of knowledge? I don't think that a lack of knowledge is a lie.

Good post. Glad to have you back in all of your full-fledged Ericness.
Posted 5/4/2008 6:25 PM by TearsKeepAFalling Xanga True Member - reply

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@Agnostics_R_Us - 

The fact that this is something that virtually never applies to real living is precisely why it surprises me that people were so quick to answer - in most cases like that, people want to answer the way that actually makes some sense in their lives by applying the question to something that could happen to them. Perhaps this is only me projecting my methods onto other people, but I think most people answer these questions by imagining a situation they've been in that's similar to each of the conditions, and then comparing their responses to the two imagined situations. Once they've done that, then they start justifying their response or arguing against it using rational terms.

And I really don't think the spirit of the question is a choice between happiness and bitterness - what's the point of having the question in the game? If those are the only relevant pieces of information, and the cause cancels out, then who wouldn't choose happiness? I think the cause is the entire basis of the dilemma. When people try to answer that question, the picture things in their mind and compare them - and while I compare the thrill of learning something new to the disappointment of not knowing something or of finding out that my beliefs were wrong, I think most of my friends compare stories they've heard about smart people who are depressed and (relatively) ignorant people who are happy.

@TearsKeepAFalling - 

What's the distinction you're making between lack of knowledge and a lie? The fact that one is caused by an intelligent agent and the other isn't necessarily? Are you also distinguishing between a friend choosing not to tell you something and a lack of information?

Also, the term "Ericness" made me think of "You Me and Dupree," which I watched this weekend.
Posted 5/4/2008 7:07 PM by NQbass7 Xanga True Member - reply

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@NQbass7 - 

Well since the spirit of the question seems to indicate the perpetual state of affairs (happiness or bitterness) based on x or y, that does mean the causes cancel out. If you are telling me I'm going to be happy kicking sheep in the nose or sad picking a fight with moon cheese, and those are my only two options and these are perpetual states of being (lifestyles), then I'd have to pick the kicking the sheep in the nose. One zillion variants on this theme don't matter if you aren't allowed to change x or y. The choice is between happiness or bitterness explicitly or the choice makes no sense since you can just change the parameters and not be asked the question being asked. Your version changes the choice since you are effectively getting out of the state of ignorance or the state of bitterness. My version presents the choice as it is (perpetual happiness or bitterness), in my opinion, but still brings it to the inevitable conclusion.

I suppose either way could be argued to go against the spirit of the choice but it seems to make sense out of the choice you have to alter it one way or the other. Perhaps the question would have to be more specific. IDK.
Posted 5/4/2008 7:31 PM by Agnostics_R_Us Xanga Premium Member - reply

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BTW, I feel your pain on the knee thing. I've had whole summers ruined by the mere excitement of getting back into a game (like Frisbee football). It feels so good to go all out and then you exceed your limits just once and bam...there goes every game after that for a long ass time.
Posted 5/5/2008 8:36 PM by Agnostics_R_Us Xanga Premium Member - reply

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aw, what a bitch. Yes, remove what I said. It makes complete sense when I show your failure to make a good comparison between two different questions. Anyway, it still seems to be public domain here so I'll feel free to comment where and when I want, and you can continue to sensor it and do your usual "you're not mature" routine. Or, do what ARU did, only let your friends, those "smart" people you really want to talk to, visit your site. Then you wont have any problems and get butt hurt anymore. Just some thoughts.
Posted 5/9/2008 8:55 AM by darkwolfofvoid - reply

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@darkwolfofvoid - 

As I've said before, it's not about whether you're right or wrong. You are, to quote your words, "known as an asshole for good reason" and for that reason my desire to talk to you has gradually decreased to right around zero. I didn't block you at first because as we both know, you'll just circumvent that by posting anonymously, and if I turn off anonymous posting you'll create alternate screennames and pretend to be someone else. So I'll say again, I'm not interested in communicating with you anymore, and I'll ask again (politely) that you refrain from commenting on my site.

I think it's possible we could have had an interesting discussion on a couple of occasions, but it turns out I'm one of those rare people who doesn't enjoy being called names like "fool," "bitch," and "Carrier cocksucker." Sure, you're welcome to be as abrasive as you want and not care what anyone else says - but while free speech is technically your right, "if you exercise it to your limits everyone around you will think you're an asshole." Why you're surprised that calling people names makes them not want to talk to you, I'm not sure - it seems like that's a lesson most people learn in 3rd or 4th grade. Just some thoughts.
Posted 5/9/2008 10:49 AM by NQbass7 Xanga True Member - reply

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@NQbass7 - 

Now I might have concern about people not wanting to talk to me because I'm abrasive, but that would be to assume most people do not prefer to talk to me. I show respect where respect is earned. If you act like a fool, I will call you a fool. Just like if I act like an asshole, I can understand when someone says I'm an asshole. I only raise concern if I do not understand how I am being called X when I am in no way associated with X. Nevertheless, I have enough friends and plenty of people who enjoy talking to me. Your criticisms are quite meaningless since, as just stated, I am not associated with any of those ideas you are trying to present. You are just one of those people who have difficulty dealing with other people. Between the two of us, you're the one preferring seclusion and reduced socializing. Most people learn well before 3rd or 4th grade, that if you don't like Jimmy, it doesn't matter. Go play with Jimmy! Just some thoughts.

And just to note, the usual greeting amongst my friends is "wassup bitch!" Maybe it's a west-coast liberal thing, but most people aren't offended by mere words, especially if one doesn't see how they apply to them, i.e., only you let yourself get offended and hurt by other people; ergo, grow up.

If you want to get back on topic, yes, I'll continue to post. Your polite request is rather meaningless. If I see people making inferences poorly or objectionable, I'll say what I have to say. If you don't like it, take yourself off the public forum. I'm not going to preclude myself from responding to shoddy inferences because you don't want to talk about it. Self-centered much? oh yeah.
Posted 5/9/2008 2:30 PM by darkwolfofvoid - reply

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@darkwolfofvoid - 

a) "Not my fault, You deserve to be called names."
b) "I do too have friends!"
c) "See, I use this word to refer to people I like too, so obviously it doesn't mean something bad when I call you that."
d) "I'll do whatever I want without regard for what other people want."

Does that about sum it up?

"most people aren't offended by mere words" - I'll play one of your cards on this: got some data to back that up?
Posted 5/9/2008 3:08 PM by NQbass7 Xanga True Member - reply

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@NQbass7 - Yes, my evidence is the English language. Your summation is what one expects from bigotry, i.e., you oversimplify things and nullify them by your pretentious rhetoric. If you're done whinning like a bitch, you want to have an actual conversation or do you get off acting like a child? You bitch and moan because I made a comment to talk about what you brought up and you revert to this kind of bullshit? Yeah, you're a bitch. Get over it.

Posted 5/9/2008 3:46 PM by darkwolfofvoid - reply

haha, how queer.
Posted 5/9/2008 4:10 PM by OhNo!YouBlockedMeAgain!!! - reply

Visit soccerdadforlife's Xanga Site!
A curious thought just occurred to me.  If you could associate only with people who hate you, would that be hell?  Imagine being forced to associate with people you despise.  Yuck!
Posted 5/9/2008 8:53 PM by soccerdadforlife - reply

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It would be just like work! lol
Posted 5/9/2008 11:36 PM by Wolfs_Messenger - reply

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@Wolfs_Messenger - Or prison?  Just finished watching "In Hell" last night.

Posted 5/10/2008 7:52 AM by soccerdadforlife - reply

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"One of the questions that came up was (and I don't remember the wording exactly, but hopefully I capture it well enough to maintain the meaning) "Would you rather be ignorant and happy, or know everything and be bitter?"  Almost immediately, I knew my answer was the second one.  Happiness based on a lie seems to me to be a far worse choice than knowing the truth."

Sounds like Ecclesiastes to me.  I suspect that was one of your favorite books when you were a Christian.

Posted 5/10/2008 7:54 AM by soccerdadforlife - reply

Visit dare_you_to_follow's Xanga Site!
I guess you can't.
Posted 5/13/2008 4:18 PM by dare_you_to_follow - reply

Visit A___Beautiful___Disaster's Xanga Site!
Honestly, there are some things I would want to know and some things I would not - pretty much limited to things that destroy relationships. I do not want to be bitter though, so it really is a question I'd have to think about for a while, not one easily answered. I don't do to well with absolutes - there are always exceptions that seem to get in the way.
Posted 6/7/2008 7:00 PM by A___Beautiful___Disaster Xanga True Member Xanga Premium Member - reply


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