- over the years, we tend to loser our sense of artistic delight; yet God calls us to make an impact on our culture and society through these means

-what is expected or “cool” in society is largely determined by the media and our culture

-but we rarely acknowledge that we ourselves are able to shape and change this very culture

            -Genesis: we are created in His (creative) image

-Christians tend to be wary of the irrational and “unspiritual” aspect of creativity à we retreat to rationality and logic

-we live in a consumer culture à but we are called to produce, and to create, not just consume

-“one of the strongest apologetics for God is our capacity to understand beauty”

            Sometimes I wonder randomly why I invest in certain hobbies of mine…take guitar, for example. On one hand, for some reason it just makes me really happy when I figure out new chords, learn how to play new songs (even if they’re kinda fruity, like Disney or Alicia Keys songs), or even just play the same boring worship chords overandoverandoverandoverandover and over again. At the same time, however, I often feel hesitant about telling people that I even play the guitar, because of my latent insecurities. Under the surface, I’m deathly afraid of the sort of judgment and criticism that may arise in their minds, should those same people ever witness me actually playing, leading worship, etc. I fear that I may not be “good enough” in their eyes, or that whatever meager riffs and chord progressions I play might not warrant the time that I spend in my room just playing the stupid instrument. All of which brings me back to the question that I started this with…why do I invest in guitar? It’s not like I have a career or a future in it. In terms of the present, it doesn’t really provide me with anything practical or useful either, other than the occasional fan coming up to me and saying, “OH MY GOSH ROGER FUNG-MING CHANG YOU’RE SO FREAKING AWESOME I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU!!!!” (… ok I lied; it doesn’t even provide me with that much). So, then…why? Why, why, WHY do I play this freaking instrument, if only to ever become mediocre at best, and never really achieve or attain anything tangible as a result of it?

            “Tangible”…but then, is the “tangible” what I’m really playing for, in the end? This can’t be the case; as was mentioned a few lines back, I don’t get any money, fame, recognition, respect, or women for that matter, as a result of my playing the guitar. But yet, there are times still when I truly delight in playing the guitar, enjoying it thoroughly, in a way that I can’t really even explain, because it does not include the “tangible” at all. And it’s weird, but I feel that God has a way of subtly sneaking in little glimpses of joy in the things we do, whether they be “spiritual” or secular, and whether we be fully “competent” in these activities or not. Despite the fact that we often limit Him to “churchy” or “holy” contexts, He desires so much to intimately be a part of our lives, to the point where He can make His presence and influence felt even in secular arenas, if we are so willing to seek Him out. I might suck at guitar…heck, I might suck at a lot of things in life (I have yet to determine what I actually can legitimately call a “core competency” of mine), but the amazing thing about grace is that my inadequacies will not, and CAN not prevent Him from meeting me where I am, despite what I am. And hence, I will continue to play the same boring 4-chord progressions that make up 99.9999% of all Asian worship music; I will continue to learn random sappy songs that others may find strange or annoying; I will CONTINUE to play an instrument that in the long run will not provide me with any practical benefits. For even in the midst of the distorted jumble of notes that is my music, I believe that God can speak to me.

I have not much
To offer You
Not near what You deserve
But still I come
Because Your cross
Has placed in me my worth

And I know I'm weak
I know I'm unworthy
To call upon Your name
But because of grace
Because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

-Starfield- "Unashamed"