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Naydania
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Name: Naydania
Metro:
Birthday: 1/26/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: Anything interesting..God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, the bible ( It's like a REALLY LONG epic legend story...except everything actually happend..kinda scary..but very cool at the same time.) anywho..uh..sports, drawing, fighting, TaekwonDo...stuff like that
Expertise: I'm starting to think its just...Art and creativity..it may not look like "real art"...but it's real enough to me. =]
Occupation: College Student
Industry: Architecture
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  RecklessTiger03
MSN: graphic_scribe
Yahoo:  naomi_jaganshi2001
Member Since:
8/17/2005
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| I find myself...Missing Ande..
alot...
I dunno. I know I can't live in the past and I'm not..
but I just..I didn't want us ever to drift..
but I just don't know if I can get that closeness back..
It seems like it was only there cause he liked me and since I liked him
back to early and too late..everything between us fell...and
that..makes me sad inside..I pray..I pray that I can get him back and
if God says no..well..I'm so happy to have him as a memory..and I never
want to forget him..ever..
I'm not in love with William.
But I will personally claim him as my beloved..
I need to say this to myself so I can be comfortable with it..
so I can get sick of it.
So that way..I can get over it..
and we can finally be friends for real..not friends with a side of alternative motives...
I really like Will..so much to the pathetic point that when I look at his picture I get the biggest smile on my face..
I fear for the year to come..
I don't wanna say anything I'll regret.
That's why I gotta say I like him. Until it's "normal" and by then..I'll kno.
the thought of him makes my heart sigh...
It's his qualities in general. They make him attractive to me for some reason no matter how sick he makes me..
It's disgusting really.
I just want him. And it's probably just because I can't have him but I don't think so..
there has GOT to be a meaning to this..a reason for this..
I know what I want..but because of the lack of mutuality I'm forced to
force myself to keep this one sided..which is making me sick of
him..making me want to throw up whenever his name is in my mouth but at
the same time It makes me want to hug and squeeze him and kiss him and
snuggle with him and call him my willie bean and my Dumpling and MY
RICE GRAIN!! =D!!! X3!!! I ADORE HIM!! and that makes me hate him cause
he doesn't adore me! And even though my heart says to give him a little
more time I..I don't really believe it but I do..I do believe
that..either super late this year..or next year when everything is
almost over..we'll start some relationship...and it's gonna be wierd
unconventional and so much fun and absolutely perfect! =D..
but that's just my foolish hope speaking..
I adore him I really do! =D Even with his bad points..like he's
lazy..mean. insensitive (sensitive). selfish. Unemotional. Clueless.
Has a horrible attention span. and is like..some lazy glutton...he's
awkward. intentionally mean and uncaring. And has a really annoying
laugh..he's sarcastic and horribly cynical and will laugh and find
amusement in other's misfortune and not care! He's a bit girly when it
comes to hygiene..but I find that that's alot of boys..
ugh.
and yet.
He's loyal and he is caring. when you're his friend. He offers advice.
He helps you when you know you need it. He'll be there for you if you
ask for his help or you just need someone there. He'll cheer you up in
his own weird way and comfort you. He'll stay by your side until you're
ok and even if he doesn't say "are you ok today" He'll look in your
general direction and assess if you're alright. If your sad he'll try
to make you smile. He's super sweet when he wants to be. He's
dedicated. he knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go for it. He'll
work hard at what he wants. He's so adorable when he's sleeping! and
When he wakes up..he's so precious! I just wanna kiss him!! X3
His smile is so cute! When he's hungry he gets a tad pouty and the look
on his face is so adorable! I wish I took a picture! He'll play with
you if you play with him! He's like a little kid!! HE's so cute!!
WAAAH! ISHII-KUUUUUN!!! He'll tell you stuff but only if your
interested..so that would mean he is considerate of others.(to an
extent). He's straight forward with you. He doesn't lead you on or
anything like that..and I think..that's very very kind of him. He's not
rude. he's polite. He's cleanly. He has style. He's mature. He's just a
great friend.
I find him alot more adorable than I do distasteful.
So cute.
He's so cute! I do care for him I do. And I want him to know that. I want it engraved in his head.
Whatever I like him he's cute and I don't care.
he's first and for most my friend. And I'm not letting that slip anymore..
Will<333
I'll keep saying that till I know the truth My Rice Grain <33 | | |
| To...I realized (not recently) a common mistake of forcing people what to believe.
Heck it's happened to me and I already have faith..
You can't FORCE people to believe..no mater how much you want to.
Even if you know what is going to happen because it's written in the Good Book.
You can't force people to believe..
All you can do is be there for them. And treat them like friends and people.
Not like pity or charity cases cause
hello? reality check:
THEY DON'T WANT IT.
no offense.
But the last thing ANYONE wants is someone constantly in their face telling them what's wrong.
Rebellion is in our nature. You say "Don't do!" We do. Why?
Cause who are you to tell us not to?
It's in our nature to be "boss" to be our own authority.
I believe in a MUCH Higher Authority.
And I can talk about Him til I'm blue in the face.
But that won't get someone to believe what I believe.
And that DOES NOT give me a license to put them down!
What a lot of "Christians" seem to think..
is that because they Believe in Christ, you're better than everyone.
Noted: This is not your intentional mentality. But because of human nature. You're inclined to think this way.
It give you a reason to be Boss.
The Backfire: How can you be "boss" of someone that isn't your employee?
You can't say you're better than someone when they don't even believe what you believe.
Also.
Acting holier than thou..acting as if just because you accepted Christ you're top notch and blemish less now..
and now you know everything there is to know about the filthy world and its filthy inhabitants...
that is NOT what Christ teaches at ALL.
He does not teach us to put ourselves over others. NO where in the Bible is that EVER a lesson.
Love others as you love yourself.
and you would never (or at least you shouldn't) purposely tear yourself down..
so what gives you the right to do that to others?? Not GOD that's for sure.
A follower of Christ's life is a life of repentance. The whole idea is that we're realizing more and more
how unworthy we are. and how low we really are...we realize that no one is better than anyone cause we're all so pathetically sinful..and we are constantly taking steps to redeem ourselves and be more like Christ who laid His life down for us just so that we could be with Him in heaven someday..
Its just something that really bothers me..
I love everyone. and it really hurts me when people think they're better than others.
NO ONE IS BETTER THAN ANYONE.
It's really sad how selfish people can be..it breaks my heart to know that people
can't give up two things for people who have nothing.
People make up so many excuses for their bad behavior (and I'm not excluding myself)
No one wants to hear the truth. No one wants to face reality. Instead they make their own.
and that's..that very pathetic and..cowardice!
Why do you get hurt so much?
Cause no matter how far you run. No matter how much you try to avoid it Reality finds you and backs you into a corner and beats you up.
The reality is this world is HORRIBLE.
And you are NOT in charge of anything.
It not about you. It's never ONLY about you.
We are in a community.
and until people realize that their actions AFFECT OTHERS.
Only then will something change.
But even the kindest heart is a selfish one.
Selflessness comes from Christ.
I'm not forcing you to believe me.
You honestly don't have to.
But I have come to see reality.
and you can put me down and doubt that and call me stupid and find all the contradictories in this blog, and in correct grammar and ask all kinds of questions intended to make me doubt, kind or malicious intent.
I'll take it all with an open mind and heart
but my love for Christ is too strong for me to doubt.
cause there is one thing about this world I'll give credit for: Love.
People do know love.
And when you love someone, you do everything in your power so you won't hurt them.
cause it hurts you.
I'm changing as a person I can feel it. but I'm not afraid.
It's hard for me yeah cause I'm used to so much..but I don't want to hurt the person I love.
And that's My Lord and Savior.
People are going to sneer. and laugh at my face.
call me foolish. say things offensive to me.
And I know I'll make the mistake of judging you and I'm sorry.
But for your sake. I won't get mad.
And I'll do my best to understand..
If I offended anyone I'm sorry.
But alot of the time..I write for me.
Not for selfish intent but for understanding.. and clarification..
This world is full of dicotomy.
It's how we were made...if you think about it..
I dunno..
there's so much I don't understand..
but I do have knowledge I love to share.
I can't say I'm right or wrong.
But it makes sense to me and maybe someone else too..
I love you all.
I'm human..so I may not LIKE everyone lol..
but I do love everyone...it may sound impossible but it's not.
Christ is in my heart. And He makes it possible.
I should read my Bible more..and look for more understanding..
but I'm scared I might twist things up..but that's where prayers comes in and I trust my God..
alright.
Sorry for that vent.
It was on my mind and I had to release.
I plan to blog and draw here
I'm taking a break from Facebook cause..
it's time consuming..not like Xanga and Myspace lol
anyone wanna help me learn Japanese and Korean?
I plan to start teaching myself cause they've interested me for a while.
Brush up and fine tune my Spanish.
Ask my sister about French lol
ah languages..
the great divider lol
..v
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| Like a pan falling on my headSo nervous.
So brain racking.
Getting up the courage.
Getting up the gumption to say something.
C'mon its one day! Not that hard right?
WRONG.
ok!
TIME TO DO THIS.
****************************
AND IT IS FINISHED.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
"thanks but your a bit too early it's the 27th"
*PANNED*
WHAT!!!???
*thinks* DID ANYONE WANT TO REMIND ME BEFORE I TOLD THE WORLD AND DID ALL OF THIS!!!!
*hangs head in shame*
Now granted I rarely ever get disappointed... BUT THIS JUST TAKES THE FREAKIN CAKE!
I've been wrong about birthdays before but NEVER OUT LOUD!!! and not to mention I could salvage it more gracefully.
Shame still looms over me like a cloud ready to thunder and *KZZT!* STRIKE.
But that's just because I'm a dramatic overemphasized person who blows
many things out of proportion....like Hare in that show Hare and
Guu...or maybe I'm Guu...
ANYWAY.
It's ok...It's ok to be assume the worst of the worst. Cause when the
you experience something even worse than your worst..well...it's easier
to toss that Pan aside after its all said and done...
Now that this has been deeded a bad dream and I blamed the person and not myself =D ...
I think I know I can call on the 27th now...
yeah...
I'll call on the 27th...
*sigh*.. -_-;
..v
PS. Happened on the 22nd. I'm over it. But since being dramatic is just a part of me..I'm entitled to my initial over reactions =D
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| Lil Ol' Hermit Crab..((Christian temporarily woke me up...))
Lil Ol' Hermit Crab scuffling along..
will you sing me a song?
A little half asian half white girl was blaring her homemade song
through my speakers about an ex boyfriend of hers:
"I've finally got a life
I got out every night"
That part of the song stuck in my head
for some reason
which got me thinking...
what exactly constitutes as "having a life"...
and by who's standards are these constitutions made?
But hey
this is all coming from the mind of what ((certain specific people)) would like to describe as a
"peculiar" young lady...
Peculiar...clever choice of words, Ishii...clever choice indeed...
I'm tired.
Nap time.
Go on, go on, Scuffle along
lil Hermit Crab..
and teach me your song...
..v
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| To those I have subscribed too/friendedYou know who you are cause you're probably receiving this in some that whole universal update thing now.
Sorry i haven't commented much. Haven't been able too.
But I do read when I have to time. And it's interesting to say the least.
And pretty much at least one of everyone's blogs has helped me in some way of form.
So I'm blessed for you guys <3 Whether anyone reads this or not.
Anywho.
I think I may finally get back to blogging on here..
give some life updates..
yeah..
After weeks of searching a job has come into my grasp.
First things first: Ace this interveiw with flying colors.
And BOOM BAYBEH.
I'll be makin paper after the intil 2-3 weeks..
that'll be some good pocket change.
I'm custom making a birthday card for my friend William.
=]
It's coming out lookin really cool.
ch'.
He'll go POSTAL.
but with his "zen-like stance" as he likes to call it. I may just end up with an emotionless but grateful:
"Thank you."
...dork.
..v
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