Woah!

I found all my old old popems!  Actually my sister did.  Old scraps of paper with stuff written on them.  I've been typing the best of the, finishing them and editing them as I go along.  Some of them are pretty good.  Here are my favorites.

Untitled

It's about crossing the finish
When you're too tired to stand
It's about Playing a solo
When there isn't a band

It's about making the excuses
The reasons you prevail
It's about sinking the boat
But still setting sail

It's about Life
It's about Love
It's about Earth
And what's above

It's about sunshine
It's about rain
It's about pleasure
It's about pain

But most of all
I find it true
An ancient secret
From me to you:

It's about faith

Eleven Red Roses

Eleven red roses
Not one more or less
Eleven red roses
On the table in a glass

|\|3|2|)1|_|$ /\/\4x1/\/\|_|$

Today was a long day, but an awesome one.

Practice at 7am with Hugo; I was early this time!  Go figure, right?  But we had a deviotion that turned into about an hour or two of just talking and it was improving our open and honest accountability to each other.  We practiced for a while; we worked on two new songs, one I wrotre the other day, and one he wrote last week.  We spent a lot of time on me and my guitar, trying to teach me how to do the riff for his song (>.<).  I will practice, I will improve!!  I will do those excercises till my fingers fall off, then i'll pick them back up off the floor and put them back on my hand and keep going.  I gotta get better.  I just gotta.

I was about ready to start forcing myself to leave (but not quite just yet) for class, and Hugo's pastor came in and asked if we would play something so he could play drumset.  =).  SO I stayed a bit.  lol.  We played Meant to Live, haha (Hugo and I are working on it; I have it down, but Hugo just improved over it.) and we also played our song Rising.  I would have played like that for days, lol.  I am getting much better at singing and playing.  But I still gotta work ont he chorus for Meant to Live; it's a bit on the top of my singing voice, and the rhythym is, well, interesting and contrasting to the voice part.  Maybe Hugo can just play the chorus and I drop.  Or maybe Paul can sing it instead of me =P.  As for the other songs, I am okay with them.  I wanted to try Dare You to Move, but that would have taken some time to teach to Hugo.  I would play the first part you hear at the beggining, Hugo would play the distortion on the chorus.  I need to figure otu the bridge for that song and I'm good to go.

Needless to say, I missed my class.  lol, I'm not too worried about one ecopnomics class that I know what went on during.  It won't happen again though!  I get one mulligan a semester.  Yes, and now I have used it.

So the band has 5 original songs, 4 (potentially) Cover songs, and 4-7 worship songs down pat.  We could play for a while once we get it all in the bag.  Currently we have 1 song completely ready.  (Rising).  I've posted the poem that spawned the lyrics here before, way back in the distant past.  Someday I'll put up some stuff.  But for now, check on our Myspace, www.myspace.com/toshinehislight .  You'll see I try and be regular about updating the blog and there are some pictures. 

Soon to be music!  But stay tuned!

As for the rest of my life, my burritos are done in the microwave, so that'll have to wait.  it's dinnertime!

|\|3|2|)1|_|$ /\/\4x1/\/\|_|$

It's been forever

Yes, it has been longer than a month.  Or maybe not quite a month yet. 

But I don't think I'll be back to full time blogging.  I'm using a lot of facebook; and my myspace is being wierd.  I do have lots of updates.  But I don't have time to put them all here.  I probobly don't have too much of a readership any more anyway, but I felt bad and wanted to post a blog again. 

But hit me up on Facebook; I'll respond muchb better there than here.

|\|3|2|)1|_|$ /\/\4x1/\/\|_|$

*woah, I still remembered the sig!*

Easter is coming.

It's so amazing.  Something that happened 2,000+ years ago is STILL so important; and it's not one bit clearer or one bit easier to make the same choice:

Do you believe or don't you? 

Even though traditions have sort of changed and people bicker endlessly and bitterly about religion, and fear and distrust are rampant, nothing has changed about God in all those years through all those things.  He is still the same and has always been the same.  And the choice to believe is still the same.  It's remarkable that it is so constant.  It's incredible the amount of thought you can put into it and yet still come back to the same findamentals; the same choice.  It's amazing when all those words in the bible you read past looking for something else come alive and come into play when you never would have expected them to.  It's incredible that despite the comfort of all of my friends, the only true comfort that can quell my storm comes from none of them.  It's unfathomable how the God of the whole universe cares so specifically and deeply for little old me, not even the size of a period on this page if the sum of all this blog were to represent the sum of all things in existance.  Sometimes these things just hit you like they do me.  And sometimes I STILL have doubt get me down.  Sometimes I get so afraid, I shake and I cry and I pray and I wrestle with myself till I fall asleep and slip into dreams that become nightmares and wake up sweating, more tired than before I fell asleep.  But I should rejoice for these trials now; I should build up that endurance I will need to live the rest of my life with faith.  Sometimes it's so hard to sing praise when the rain is coming down sideways and threatens to flood your mouth if you opened it.  Sometimes it's hard to stand up again when I've been rebuked.  It's hard to accept love for myself even from God when there are times I hate myself!  It's hard to lead others when I know that nobody follows, not even myself.  No, not even one is righteous. 

I hope I'm not preaching a sermon; don't take it like that.  I'm just spilling my guts.  Just emptying my thoughts.  Just trying to pour it out of my head so that maybe I can work on some mechanics, though it might be a hopeless cause.  No, it won't be, what am I saying.  I can't bury my skills in the dust, I must use them and build them.  And yes, ina way, i write this for others to read it.  I will admit I am writing this for others to read and to see.  But part of that is to keep myself accountable to it.  To make myself be honest, because sometimes I don't let myself be honest with myself.  Sometiems I'm not honest with others, but I am definetly honest here.  I havent used my blog much, but I do hope to keep it going, at least every now and then.  So please, if you could, say a little prayer for me.  Or a big one, because I do need all the help I can get.  Faith is simple; but equally hard.  Do you believe?  Or don't you?  And what are you going to do about it if you do?

|\|3|21)1|_|$ /\/\4x1/\/\|_|$

Well, here's another weblog

I've definetly had a lot happening in life lately.  Some bad things, but other good things.  The guys at church in the mens chorus are really improving a LOT; we rehearsed and sang completely a capella today, and it was beautiful.  We've been working so logn and hard for that.  And I wont let it fall off, we build from there!  And I am pretty sure I would have been made homeless has my scheme succeeded yesterday.  But it did not.  I really can;'t wait for the day I'm free from this place.  I've got to go to war with the world to prepare to survive on my own, and fast, because I can't take this much longer. 

Well, That's all for now. 

|\|3|2|)1|_|$ /\/\4x1/\/\|_|$