|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| And just so you know, dear readers, I have a long history of being led on by females.
It's like lying, only without the words. And it earns a level of hatred I thought I wasnt capable of.
| | |
| So today I heard something, and it seemed kinda true. "Chivalry is dead, and women killed it. They're all self serving, stuck up bitches"
Now I realize, not all women are bitches. However, I have yet to find a woman that isnt self serving [in some circular manner or another, they all are] or stuck up [see previous bracket]. It seems like every time a woman is "into" me, it's for some asinine or sexual manner or another. However, one gets tired of being used for just as a physical or emotional punching bag. Enter the latest girl. Witty, funny, flirty, and into a lot of the things I am, be it morality or just plain neuroses. But of course, with the way life [and women in my life] seems to work, something goes wrong.
She's going away next year, and tells me that while she's interested, she's not into breaking hearts. Of course, this is fine with me, she told me upfront, everythings peachy, right? Of course not! I start getting texts like this one: Come to school now. I need a cuddlebuddy." Of course, I give in because I try to be there for my friends when they need me.
But after a day of being bitten, cuddled, nuzzled, and flirted with, I'm confused. She doesnt want a relationship. But she's also told me that she doesnt want casual sex, because thats not her thing either. Finally it dawns on me.
She's leading me on.
HOORAY FOR TODAY
| | |
| So I'm sitting around the library waiting for class...and i guess i just felt like writing something. Lets start with my life at home.
99% of the time I'm home, I'm cloistered in my room. I dont need to deal with nate, I dont need to deal with mom, and I can ignore her boyfriend and the dogs. However that 1% of every day is basically terribad. Sitting down to dinner with the family every night reminds me of why I decide to stay in my room for as long as is humanly possible, as often as is humanly possible.
When I'm not in my room, I'm at class. I dont really go out too much, and the maybe once a week I get to see my friends is pretty decent, but i dunno.
I'm moving soon, to a new house. It's even further from everyone in my life, and while some would argue that this means I'll meet new people and make new friends, I argue that it'll just turn me into a hermit.
I'm kind of afraid of that. Becoming a hermit, staying locked away in my room, further isolated and more alone than ever. Not like people can find a reason to visit me, or any drive to.
I dont know what to do. I'm just...still lost in myself,
| | |
| I've been lost in myself lately.
| | |
| Hello xanga...I've neglected you lately. However there hasn't been much to talk about, so I don't feel quite as bad as I should. I moved, then we bought a house and another move is pending...maybe. I've been going to school, and it's always as easy as before. And work is...well mercurial at best. I think I've been fired, but I'm not actually sure. Maybe they just gave me a week with no hours? It's best not to hope though, so I won't be shocked or disappointed.
Alright xanga, welcome back into my life.
| | |
|
