Currently Listening Once Upon a Shattered Life By Seventh Day Slumber Caroline see related

Only one thorn....

Ok so my birthday was a good ol’time.

            I got to go to Rolla where I got to see my friends and go canoeing. It was great! I was glad that I got to see Kilbourn, but I was sad that we didn’t get to play any music. I am longing for a night where Angie and Kilbourn come in town and we spent the whole night just jammin’. I love those times!

            After canoeing I went to my wonderful town house and the party came to me!! My great roommate threw me a party and all my buddies came that were in Rolla. I got a cake from James and Kilbourn that had a John Deere tractor on it and they had put the words Bluegrass and Apple Juice on it with icing. Everyone was soo tired after the canoe trip that everyone just watched a movie. I have to say that my present from Samantha was cool. She got me a Disney princess clothing hamper, it’s cute.

            But out of all the time I spent in Rolla the best day was Sunday. I got to go to my church Spring Creek and it was so great. I miss my family there so much during the summer. I also realized that it was probably one of the last times I would be able to go to church with Kilbourn.(SAD). After church we all went to Applebee’s and then went home.

            This is kina boring and conceded because its all about me, I will switch gears now to something more heartfelt. 

***********OK so here is something real to write************

I hope this doesn't offend anyone but I was thinking on the drive to work about how Paul said that he had a thorn in his side. Well, I sometimes feel like I have a whole thorn bush in my stomach. I am so grateful when God reveals himself to me but I have no idea why he chooses to put up with my insubordination. When is enough, enough? I don't ever want to give up trying to be like my Savior, but I keep failing and failing. The truth comes in that I can’t do anything, NOTHING!  With out Christ I can't breath, walk, live, be angry, cuss, smile, speed, sleep, watch a violent and profane movie, snort when I laugh, worship, kiss, pray, nothing!, with out him allowing me to. The best part about that is that not only is He allowing me but he is there with me. A great and sobering thought! It always seems easy to say that God is with us when we are in His will with our actions and thoughts but thinking about Him being there when we aren’t is rough. –Just a few thoughts

***Song I wrote a few days ago***

I’ve run so far, so far from my home

I forgot your words cuse’ I wanted my own

You’re there beside me and you hurt when I fall

You’ve watched me walk away and build this wall

But you’re still calling out, crying out my name

Saying just come back please, we’ll tare this wall down again

I’m where you’ll find your rest and your hope will be restored

And you won’t have to hurt so much anymore

Just come back to me

I hear you calling but I’ve heard that before

And I’ve come back running and you’ve opened that door

Your grace falls down on me; yeah it falls like a flood

I’ve hurt you so much I don’t understand this love

But you’re still calling out, crying out my name

Saying just come back please,. We’ll tare this wall down again

I’m where you’ll find your rest and your hope will be restored

And you won’t have to hurt so much anymore

Just come back to me

And I’ve seen you hurt yourself

And I’ve watched you walk away

You’ve turned your back on me

But I here to say

Just come back to me, I crying out your name

O’ Just come back please, we’ll tare this wall down again

I’m where you’ll find your rest and your hope will be restored

And you won’t have to hurt so much anymore

Just come back to me…Just come back to me

Currently Listening A Collision By David Crowder Band you are holy see related

I love my hamster

I love my hamster. Seriously… I find myself looking forward to going home and seeing her. I know she is just a hamster but man, it's just like God gave her to me to have a companion and to find joy when things stressful living at home this summer. Her cage stinks sometimes and she keeps me up at night chewing and running, but for some reason I love having her around. I don't know why I am just captivated by her sweet little eyes and the fact that she likes me. And to those of you who actually read this and have met my hamster "Scarlet O'Hamster" I am sure she misses you and gives a lil'nose wiggle to you. Its her version of a "what’s up".

****DISCLAMER OF SANITY****Ok for those of you who don't know me that well, I am a goofball but I know the hamster does not talk****

Real Stuff~ Man if you aren’t in the word get there, PUT DOWN WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND READ THE BIBLE. Please don’t be like I have lately and say “I’ll do it later”. LATER WILL NOT COME~that voice of procrastination is the Devils pleasure! God is too wonderful to put off. A lesson I have had to learn over and over and I am sure you probably have too if your honest.

Miss you all!

Currently Watching King Kong (Widescreen Edition) see related

Band of Brothers and hopefully a Sister to them

It has honestly been so long for me to write because I couldn’t pick someone to be next.  I care so much for all my friends and just didn’t want to put any sort of order to it.  So THERE IS NO ORDER TO THESE BLOGS.  I love you all so much, in many different ways!!

Today we will learn about one of the coolest groups of relationships I have ever been blessed to have.  Although all these young men could take up books about how they and impacted me and how much I care for them I thought it best to not bore the world with all my feelings, which are personal.  The BSU band is one of the scariest and coolest things to be in for me. I honestly have had trouble understanding if I am the person who should be up there, but the men in the band always encourage me. 

The most encouraging and fun person in the world to be around when you are sad or feeling down, is Nathan Newman.  He has the most amazing way of making people feel at ease with his wonderful humor and easy going personality. He is an amazing drummer and knows how to make a song SOO MUCH BETTER.  I love it when Nathan lifts his head out of the drum shield, takes the cotton out of his ear and says “Hey how bout we try this?”  Always a welcomed thing in our band.  Another great thing about Nathan is his other half Annie. She is one of the coolest people in Rolla. (But she will have her own blog at another time) But Nathan and Annie’s example of love and marriage is so great to see. Just the little things they do for each other are so cool.  It truly is inspiring to me and I thank them both for that.

Now for Brian, Big Ed, Edwards, Abu or any other name he will answer to, which is most anything if food is involved. What a friend/cousin he has been to me.  I appreciate all the times he has listened to me cry or just talk about things and been a true friend. I thank God for Brian’s musical ability and his knack for helping others attain some.  He is such an asset to the band, mostly just because he is our leader (just kidding).  We could not ask for a better leader. He has a cool head and wants to hear feedback about everything, he also wants to be real with people even when it’s hard and that is important but never has Brian done it in a non-loving or Christ like manner.  I applaud him for this and aspire to be more like him in that area.  I also am so thankful that he has such a heart for music ministry and is teaching me so much about it.  I could not ask for a better or goofier friend.  (and yes I will always take just one bite out of every different flavored donut in the box, heheh)

Well what can you say about Dustin???? Maybe you just shouldn’t.  hehehehe  O’man I don’t know where to begin. Ummmm….what a guy.  I honestly have had the pleasure as most here have to see him grow and mature in the Lord.  But when you think he has hit a new level he is never satisfied being stagnate he pushes himself to learn and attain more of God’s word and that brings him closer to God.  He truly has a wonderful heart under all that sarcasm and I urge anyone to look for it, it’s beautiful. Also I would not be me if I didn’t say thank you to his mom for making me feel like I was special.  She is wonderful. 
As with every one of these men of God there is so much more I could say but I hope that’s for me and them. Thank you Dustin for making fun of me and being able to banter and keep up.  It’s nice to know someone who will tell me how it is and comfort me in the reality of life. You are a really great guy you just try to hide it a lot. 

Kilbourn! One of the best friends God has ever put in my life.  I thank God so much for allowing me to know you and learn so much from you.  There are so many times in our lives the last few years where we have gone through the same hard stuff just weeks apart in our own lives.  And I know that they have been hard and I know that I needed your friendship through them all.  I pray that you will find peace in your life when you leave Rolla and I pray that Rolla finds peace without you, but it will be hard.  You work so hard to make others lives better and easier with out a thank you many times. You have sacrificed grades and time so much that I don’t know how you made it through college but it was always for God and his glory and the Lord has truly blessed you with the knowledge to finish.  My dad said that you are stronger than you think you are and I agree, you know God and listen well to him.  Just keep it up!

Now the band was incomplete until our sound guy showed up and boy did that make a difference.  How lucky we are to have such a dependable and wonderful Christian person to run our sound and fix everything for us.  Sound is a thankless job and takes a special person. One that doesn’t want praise and one that wants people to forget he is there because if they know he is there that means he messed up.  We have truly got that.  Thank you Todd!  There is so much I could say about Todd and how great he is, I don’t know where to start.  If you are looking for someone who is trying to walk the walk it would be him.  I have never met a man who has had such an impact on my life in such a short time.  I am thankful for the wonderful friend he has been. I am thankful for him, and his church families, who have made me feel more at home in Rolla than I ever thought possible.  And mostly I am just thankful that I have had the pleasure of knowing him and learning from him.

Well there you have it 5 of the coolest guys I know!! If you don’t know one of them that well, give it a shot, it’s well worth it.

Currently Watching Walk the Line (Widescreen Edition) see related

Wow! So I want to start this and have been putting it off because of time and just not knowing what to put on here, no that I made a little proclamation.  But I had an amazing conversation tonight with my Best Friend Leah and thought that I would write the first one about her. 

First of all I thank God for putting me around someone who is meant to sharpen me and truly does.  She has truly challenged and cared for me.  There is a big world out there and I know that we will not live around each other forever; in fact these are our last months to do so.  It seems that God has always wanted us to be friends but knew when to let us meet.  We grew up a few streets away from each other our entire lives and never met until college.  It was amazing to find a God fearing girl in the midst of chaotic community college…aka…Longview.  I could never have studied for 10 hours straight with any one else.  I appreciate all the talks of physics and Oreos in the weee-morning hours. 

When we moved to Rolla I wrote a letter to some friends back home telling them that I was so bored but I knew I could do it as long as Leah was around.  I am no longer bored but I know I need my Best Friend. We have been through so much here from Mechanics all-nighters to yelling about the temperature of the house.   We have gone from talking for hours to not seeing each other for two weeks because of our busy schedules.  And no matter what is going on in our lives we continue to work for our friendship no matter what. She has never given up on me and I won’t give up on her.

Leah, I am so glad that you are happy with Matt.  I honestly hope the best for you two and want to be there for you both in any way I can.  Things with us will change but there is one thing that will never change and that is that I Love You.  As you grow with your husband I want to be there and find my new place in your new life, as you have kids I want to find my place in their lives.  And if I have to fly to see you when were older I pray that God would allow us to keep being close and have the funds for the long trip.  Even though a phase of our friendship is about to end, I am excited to see the next and truly can’t wait to see what God does with such a wonderful, caring, and brilliant child of his. 

Hey, Leah remember this song!!