Hey guys i have a new xanga so subcribe to that this one ok?

www.xanga.com/My_Heart_It_Bleeds

-Miyon<3-

Can my life get any worse?.. Would my life ever turn back to normal?... what in the bloody hell is normal these days?..... I wish i can sleep forever so i don't have to face any of this crap that's going on in my life right now....

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I changed my xanga pic lol i like this one most of my friends do well at least me emo friends do... lol hahaha lalalalala a i'm soo bored i think i'm suppose to go out to dinner with me daddy on the 22nd or something sushi!!! lol laterZ*

-Miyon-<3

EVERYONE!!!! only one more week until WINTER BREAK!!!!

Man i hope everyone can come to church on Christmas eve and CHRISTMAS it's self~

Well i igotta go study now lol laterZ*

-Miyon-

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i may had the worst kinda convo ever in my life tonight but i got my shackles(sp?) back on me again you guys will kno what i'm talking about on friday when you see my wrists filled with somethings.... It'll be a loong time until i get back to my happy moods again.. very long time.... and you know the sucky part about it is? that i got rid of my shackles(sp?) like last year and now they're all back on again.....

Wow the praise night was so funny and awesome even though there was mistakes that no one noticed i might add :D but who was judging anyways!! When i was reading the poem well prayer thing i almost cried because i was noticing that in the past i did so much wrong towards God and Jesus Plz pray for me I'm in a tough time in my spiritual life... Anywho overall it was an awesome night and I met new peepos, their awesome too except the dude who kept taking pictures of me when i wasn't ready >__<lol Just kidding eric!! you better show me the pics!! It was all pretty the way the church was set up^__^  i realy like the christmas tree And i think i did my duet with Julian good i mean Julian did fine but me idk i think i kinda bombed it lol>__<'' well anywho it was a fun night i prolly won't for get laterZ*

-Miyon-

Ok guys i think i came into a breakthrough and i think i'm happy but i'm not sure.. the curse i am living with everyday is that everytime something bad happens and even if it has nothing to do with me but parts of it i blame it all on me.... i always blame everything on me and i've been through it all my life even before i came into America and trust me it hurts to blame it all on yourself for nothing or at least it was something.... And i can't stop myself for thinking this way because it always solves my problems even if its just putting it behind me but i still think about it. This is how my curse works.... If something bad happens and i see those around me hurt i get mad or depressed so i take each and every person's damage onto me so they'll be free from harm and than i feel relieved about them but what about me? I get stuck and trapped and end up having other peoples' pain and regrets and i take it and cry it all out and it hurts me soo much i can't sometimes let things go so it even effects me more and my friends get frustrated(sp?) because they know i've taken their pain away from them and onto me and only me.... they want me to stop but i can't because if i'm not here who will take care of their pain? i can't stand seeing anyone with pain in their hearts.. and if i'm gone who wil be there to take away the pain so they can be happy? I am this and i know i have to continue being this way...... and people might not have seen who i really am but now you kno and don't think you're the only one with pain because i have yours...

-Miyon-