Dear Elaine:

Congratulations! Your invitation to become a People to People Student Ambassador has already identified you as a remarkable and motivated student. We are eager to welcome you and your family to the People to People Student Ambassador Programs information meeting in your area.

This meeting is the best way to learn about your exciting opportunity to explore the world in the name of peace and understanding. You'll meet experienced Student Ambassadors and learn why they often refer to People to People journeys as "life-changing." Find out about program tuition, and learn how you can earn academic credit while you travel.

Take the first step of your Student Ambassador journey – simply come to the information meeting about your itinerary to England and France:

Date: Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Registration Time: 7:15 p.m.
Meeting Time: 7:30 p.m.
Location: S. San Francisco Conf Ctr
Salon F
255 South Airport Boulevard
South San Francisco, CA 94080

Your Personal Invitation Number (PIN): ********

We invite you to visit our website, http://www.studentambassadors.org, before the information meeting to learn about the exclusive access our programs provide – then be sure to attend the meeting with at least one of your parents to see all the details on your program itinerary.

Since our programs are by invitation only, please bring your meeting invitation letter to the meeting.

Remember, if you haven't already indicated that you will be attending the meeting, you can do so at http://www.studentambassadors.org/reserve using the PIN shown above.

I look forward to seeing you at the meeting!

Sincerely,

Paul M. Watson

...Wtf. People to people has sent me numerous emails despite me having emailed them about the obvious problem: I live in fecking CHINA. How do I attend an informational meeting in SAN FRANCISCO?

Things that make Elaine exceedingly upset (especially today):

• Insufficient sleep
• AP Lang homework
• Acid rain
• Feeling intellectually inferior to all MUN kids
• Period cramps
• Late afterschool buses
• Having to traipse across (and get stuck in) the fucking La Brea Tar Pits of Shanghai (sans fossils) because there were no taxis at Gubei, thus ruining canvas shoes
• Having construction workers laugh at her because of said inability to cross the muddy puddle/chasm(s) of doom
• Having no money in her phone
• Cold coffee