So, it's the end of the year.

And I celebrate tonight alone, which in the end, I suppose, is fitting...

There are four people only I would want to spend tonight with anyway; and of them two are dead.  And the others... well. The others would be more than willing to be with me tonight, but I refuse on the grounds that they love me entirely too much...

And love, that will not do at all, n'est-ce pas?

(I make no sense, I realize, but I've stopped caring much about being rational.)

So tonight I'll be alone, missing Gavin unbearably; because Samhain is the festival and he was...

Well, Gavin.

Je l'ai fait.

I survived the first day of having my family back.
It feels weird. They (finally) moved in with me yesterday... I have no idea what to do with them. I didn't exactly have any role models for this whole parenting thing- pretty much I raised myself (and you can see how badly I fucked that up- hopefully my siblings won't all end up whores!)

And even if I were to try and discipline them, why would they listen? I'm not their father, only their brother- and anything I could possibly tell them not to do are things I probably did a thousand times over when I was younger.

So, being completely devoid of morals myself, how do I raise moral children without being a total hypocrite?

Somehow I don't think telling them to do everything I didn't do would go over so well.

So maybe I lied... I have yet to give any details about anything.
But it wasn't quite a lie, since I said "if I ever find the energy" and I have yet to...

Actually, life has been fairly normal (for, what, the past week? because the first month or so after Gav's death was anything but normal...)

Mostly I've been working, and then working some more. I teach drama now in a snobby private school (drama, yes, I know, I'm such a fag.) and so the escorting must be kept to nights and weekends... and sleep has become a thing of the past.

But teaching is fun.

Else, I'm busy still attempting to push all my friends out of my life... (how successful have I been? Any of them that still remain still love me through no fault of my own, I can assure you )

My house is quiet, and the city is waking up around me.

It's been over a month now since my Angel died.

And since then life has been hectic and surreal...

Details later. If I ever find the energy.