NomDeGuerre911's Xanga

Oh what to do with myself.

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 20:18:47 GMT

I find myself filled with mixed emotions. On one hand this has been the best week of my life. I have found the person I want to spend my life with. He's absolutely amazing and I can't imagine my life without him. On the other hand I am filled with sadness as changes are being made at the theatre. I will miss my friends who are getting transfered and who are leaving on their own. Still, on my foot, I find myself very proud of Erin and Dave. Congrats you two! You both have worked so hard to get to where you are at and deserve every bit of happiness you get. I only hope that I and the OCs left can fill your shoes as well as the shoes of Craig and Ogie. Ogie, I have a feeling you're getting transfered. It was hard when Brandy moved to the CC12 but it didn't change the connection that was made, hopefully the same can be said of everyone else in the next few months. Be sure to visit your old theatre and your old friends from time to time and keep in touch.

Ok I'm done. BYE!

It's official.

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 19:53:39 GMT

He's the one.

Did I really say "y'all"?

Sat, 18 Feb 2006 15:53:17 GMT

Anyway.. So this guy, Dan. You all have to meet him. He's the biggest dork, bigger than me. I really like him! Goodness. Um, but it's scary. Last time I really liked a guy it turned out shitty, so I'm keeping up my gaurd. Anyway. Work tonight. Should be fun. AH!

It's been a while.

Thu, 16 Feb 2006 03:42:29 GMT

Yeah ok, so I'm a bit tipsy... But goodness y'all. I think I met someone. I hope I don't screw it up by getting excitied, but I really like this guy. It's different then Pete. If you've heard me talk about Pete. I didn't really know Pete that well, I think I am getting to know this guy. His name is Dan. He's 22. Has a job. Is sweet as hell. Everyone pray that I don't get hurt this time. I don't think I could handle it if I did.

On another note:
To all the people who have left the theatre recently and may be leaving soon... I will miss you. The OCs, better keep in touch. I love you all so much and we may not all be as close as we want, but we're close enough for me to call you a second family. When I actually start driving you bet your asses' I will be playing pool or whatever else y'all come up with.

~Cheri

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Sun, 04 Dec 2005 03:42:17 GMT

This xanga thing can get a person into trouble. Oh well.

Hahaha. Isn't that funny? Or how about...

Yay for Ogie, he silly stringed Kevin last year.

NIGHT!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Wed, 09 Nov 2005 13:58:20 GMT

Sick, sick, sick. Seems like this is my year for getting sick. I'm actually making a doctor's appointment for later today. I was in bed fro two days, temp of 102. That's finally gone but my throat is swollen with huge patches all over. I feel like crap. Who got me sick? Argh. I can't afford to miss anymore work, but I may have to depending on what they say later.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 02:11:44 GMT

I just wrote this in my myspace blog...I wanted to put it here as well, maybe get some advice...

"So I think I fell for this really great guy. I didn't hang out with him much but never in my life have I felt this way about someone. Problem is that he was/is still in a transitional period in his life. I tried being patient, understanding, a friend. Thing is a person can only stand so much. I sent simple "how are things, give me an update" emails, no response. This guy probably thinks I'm some crazy stalker and the crazy thing is that is most definatly NOT the type of person I am. I don't get strong emotions, not even when I should. I should have loved my now ex, he loved me and I know I'm a hard person to tolerate let alone love. So what do I do now that I have these emotions? I can't talk to this guy. In one last email I told him how my patience was growing thin and that I would give him all the space he needed. No more phone calls, emails, I wouldn't even bother him when I saw him online. I tried to explain in this email that I'm not mad, just tired of being patient and understanding. He's busy, ok good. I'm about to be very busy as well. I'm also in a transition. I want him to be a part of my life, even if it's just as a friend which i don't even know if that will happen now. It pisses me off that I can't go one day without thinking about him. This type of thing just doesn't happen to me. I worked so hard so long to keep my emotions under control and the one time somebody is able to get in, it gets fucked up. This just makes me realize why I kept things so burried in the first place. Emotions hurt like hell. I'm angry at myself for letting myself fall for someone who in all actuality I know very little about. I do, however, know that he is one of the best people I have ever known. He's smart, funny, kind, hard working, sincear and even attractive physically. He even, for at least a while, was in to me as well. Why do I always sabotoge the good things in my life? I don't even know for sure if this was my fault, or if it just is. I'm losing control of my emotions when it comes to him, and while I was with him it was ok. Being around him made me feel safe to have these feelings. Now that I feel I'll never speak to him again, I feel naked. Maybe I'm blowing everything out of porportion, maybe not. All I know is that I'm more than likely rambling, more than likely making numerous spelling errors and also on the brink of tears. All I know is that for so long this hasn't been who I am. I used to be a rock, cold almost. Only enough emotions were shown not to get hurt. I don't know what to do, I want to stop thinking about him but I can't and it doesn't make any sense to me. Even putting this here in public view isn't who I am but I've been thinking that maybe it needs to be. Maybe things got so stupid and messed up because I wasn't used to letting people in. This doesn't mean that I will let everyone in all the way all the time. This means that I have realized that I was empty before and now that hole is filled. It may be filled with sadness, but at least it's filled with something for the first time in a long time. I'm vulnerable. I'm naked. I don't know if anyone will read this. I don't know if anyone will care. I do know that if I keep typing my hands will hurt. Totally rambling. I do know that I feel only slightly better after typing all of this. I guess that's all for now. "

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 06:10:48 GMT

Boy oh boy things have gotten rough for our AMC employees recently, mainly the OCs. Breakups, coworkers leaving (Brandy and Megan)...it's got me thinking...

The majority of us OCs are 21-25. Ages 21-25 are tough from what I hear. A lot of growing pains. We are at a time in our lives when it's our friends who will help us through. Advice, a shoulder to cry on, someone we can vent at, take out our anger (and know we'll be forgiven). Some of us might be closer than others be it hanging out more, sharing secrets et cetera. This is all perfectly ok, in fact it's better that way. What is important though is that we have a core, a center, somewhere we feel safe and have the ability to be vulnerable.

Dave: You are one of my best friends. We know things about each other no one else knows. We may not hang out very often but when we do it's valuable to me. I trust you with everything.

Brandy: Although you are leaving soon I am happy for the time we got to bond a little. You're a wonderful person and have a good heart and I hope to hang out with you after you leave. If not, then at least we can communicate though here.

Ogie: We had a real rough spot, I was nuts for a while. I realized that you are a valuable friend and as with Brandy I am sad that we don't hang out more, but it's totally ok because you let me vent to you about my problems whether you really care or not. You recognize the need to vent.

Josh: You're like a big brother I don't get to talk to very often. We see each other at work, we have our disagreements from time to time, but I care for you all the same.

Erin: You don't have a xanga, you'll never read this, but I will say this anyway. I've known you the longest out of the OCs. You know the dark side of me as I do yours. You are there for me when I really need you and I am so happy for the happiness you have found with Jason.

Craig: Craigery. Another non xanga. You are my critical soul mate I think. We often have the same complaints and the same odd sense of humor. You rock.

I really don't know why I'm talking about all of this. I guess it's because I was reading some xanagas, which I haven't done in a while. I noticed a lot of hurt and stress recently and I know I'm not the most available person. I never work with the other OCs, but that's ok. I guess my point is that I am offering myself to you all if you want. I am not really asking for the same if you don't want, just know that I am here.

Everyone else at AMC, don't think I forgot about you. I want you to feel like you can approach me with any problems you might have be them work related or not.

I am babbling on like an idiot. Goodness. Well there it is folks. My fellow OCs, you all rock. Much love.

~Cheri

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 05:20:11 GMT

ROUND TWO

Julia, a baby I know.

John's car.

My basement.

Some drink.

Cricket.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 05:00:38 GMT

I took these...

Aren't they pretty?