Broken......and Reaching Higher
Not_Mine_Own
read my profile
sign my guestbook

Visit Not_Mine_Own's Xanga Site!

Name: Not_Mine_Own


Interests: Growing with my Jesus, learning, reading, writing poetry, spending time with family and friends, sports, music, playing my instruments, thinking deeply, drawing, journaling, getting to know new people, shopping(sometimes), and so forth.
Expertise: I'm imperfect. I have mastered the art of failing and messing things up; a wretch of a sinner. But I've found Someone who loves me even amid all of these things. He has been waiting for me to let go and accept His free offer of forgiveness and a truly worthwhile life. He has promised a ride I'll never forget, one that is so much better than the one I was choosing for myself. He has promised me much, and has never let me down; I am fulfilled. Though I still have a great deal more to learn before I even near what it is you would call even significantly good, He continues to love me with a love not found anywhere else. He is what makes me wonderful and precious. He is all I live for, therefore, I am Not Mine Own.


Message: message me


Member Since: 5/17/2006

SubscriptionsSites I Read
blueyesandsmiles
SchugaKnight
Blonde87
freednovember92
LeahSmith07
Hyper_Chicks_Site
JustUrAverageGirl
christinefrancine
ames51
Caito_Potateo
derAmi
foreverfree45

Posting Calendar

|<< oldest | newest >>|
view all weblog archives

Get Involved!

Suggest a link

Recommend to friend

Create a site


Sunday, August 20, 2006

A great deal has happened to me over the past couple of days, difficult things, but it amazes me how everpresent God has been.  I am exhausted emotionaly, mentally, physically, but I do not doubt and am not lacking any joy.  I know that God has a plan behind all of the terrible things that have happened, even if it doesn't make sense to me and it seems horrible.  I know that He has a good and perfect plan behind this that will benefit so many differet...people, circumstances....only He knows.  I am not upset with Him for this reason.  I know that the blue eyed angel that danced into her Maker's arms is the happyest she has ever been, is experiencing more love than we have ever known, and that it's not goodbye, it's see you later.  There is so much hope embracing this entire situation, and even in this storm and can lift my eyes to Jesus and smile because of how awesome He is.  It's like that old hymn, "It Is Well"; so powerful. 

How can I ever thank You, God, for all that you have done for me?  I'm just dumbfounded right now.  I'm so at peace, so grateful, so shocked by it all. 

Everybody said that Leisha truly danced away into heaven.  What a legacy she left, even for a 15 year old.  Such an amazing person.  And I got to say I know her.  Yes, I realize I'm typing about her in the present tense rather than past, but there is not need for the past tense.  Leisha is not gone, she's just somewhere else right now, and we'll all see her again.  She danced into her Maker's arms leaving footprints on our hearts.  And as I heard it put, "I hear Leisha...singing in heaven tonight."  Love ya, Leish.  See you soon.

Leisha Danae Burrus

April 28, 1991-August 16, 2006


Friday, July 07, 2006

The other day I found out about this new artist.  Her name is Jessie Daniels, and she's amazing; at least I think so.  Her lyrics just really get to me.  She's up and coming, so you may not have heard of her, but I thought I'd share some of here lyrics with you.  Tell me what you think.  Oh, and check out her site if you're interested.  It's www.jessiedaniels.com

 

Hold Me Now

I tried so hard to fill the emptiness inside

But nothing ever seemed to fit in

I tried to understand the loneliness in my life

But nothing ever seemed to make sense

Until You, until You opened up my eyes to

 

All that I ever wanted was this peace as You

Hold me now, as You hold me now

All that I ever needed was this love as You

Hold me now, forever

Hold me now

 

Oh, I never knew what heaven was before

But now I'm finally understanding

Right next to wherever You are is where I wanna be

I didn't see a happy ending

Until You, until You opened up my eyes to

 

All that I ever wanted was this peace as You

Hold me now, as You hold me now

All that I ever needed was this love as You

Hold me now, forever

Hold me now

 

Wrap Your arms around me

Never let go...

 

Have  a great day, guys!

 

In Him,

Kaydge


Wednesday, June 14, 2006

So You Want to Know the Truth?

 

To all who are searching for the truth:

 

            Why are we so blind?!  Why can’t we see?  We weren’t meant to have all of the answers!  We weren’t meant to understand everything!  If we did, where would our dependence on God be?  We wouldn’t need Him!  That’s why we are so lost!  We think that we have to know everything!  That everything has to make sense!  That is why we turn to science and philosophers!  We see them as correct!  They make sense to us!  They can prove things to be true!  It’s all logical when we believe them!  God is not the creator of logic!  He is the author of TRUTH!  He knows everything!  His Son said it Himself!  I am the way, the truth, and the life!  Can it get any more obvious than that?  The fact that we have the truth staring us point blank in the face and we can’t see just goes to show how stupid we are!  That is why God is God and we are human!  That is why we need God!  Obviously, He planned it this way!  He knows that if He hides some things from us, than we are going to go looking for the truth!  That is why He does it!  So that we will need Him!  And yet we turn around, think up something that seems like it agrees with everything scientifically and historically and whatever else that makes it seem liable, and call it truth!  That is why we are human!  Our own stupid pride and desire for knowledge gets in the way!  We just can’t say, “God, I know you know everything, so let me in on it.”  Why is that so hard to do?  He said that He would help us understand; that He will reveal mysteries to us!  But we would rather come up with our own absurd ideas!  He said that if we studied His word we would learn His truths.  Why than are we searching the stars, looking among the dead, or trying to buy our way to happiness?  That is why people get depressed.  That is why, even the wisest men on earth ask, “Why?”  That is why when something awful happens we start wanting to know what caused it and why it is happening. That is why we feel a void unless we have Christ.  That is why we don’t have peace and are so dissatisfied by everything that the world has to offer.  That is why Jesus is called the Savior; we obviously need saved.  I may sound harsh, but I really felt the need to go crazy on this subject, because our human pride refuses to let us see it.  I know that I don’t have all the answers, but this is one answer that I do know to be true.  I don’t even know if it will affect you in any way.  I just know that it had to be said! 


Thursday, June 08, 2006

May 24th.

THE DELIGHT OF DESPAIR

"And when I saw Him, I fell at His feet as dead." Revelation 1:17

It may be that like the apostle John you know Jesus Christ intimately, when suddenly He appears with no familiar characteristic at all, and the only thing you can do is to fall at His feet as dead. There are times when God cannot reveal Himself in any other way than in His majesty, and it is the awfulness of the vision which brings you to the delight of despair; if you are ever to be raised up, it must be by the hand of God.

"He laid His right hand upon me." In the midst of the awfulness, a touch comes, and you know it is the right hand of Jesus Christ. The right hand not of restraint nor of correction nor of chastisement, but the right hand of the Everlasting Father. Whenever His hand is laid upon you, it is ineffable peace and comfort, the sense that "underneath are the everlasting arms," full of sustaining and comfort and strength. When once His touch comes, nothing at all can cast you into fear again. In the midst of all His ascended glory the Lord Jesus comes to speak to an insignificant disciple, and to say - "Fear not." His tenderness is ineffably sweet. Do I know Him like that?

Watch some of the things that strike despair. There is despair in which there is no delight, no horizon, no hope of anything brighter; but the delight of despair comes when I know that "in me (that is, in my flesh) dwelleth no good thing." I delight to know that there is that in me which must fall prostrate before God when He manifests Himself, and if I am ever to be raised up it must be by the hand of God. God can do nothing for me until I get to the limit of the possible.

I hope that this has reached out and touched some of you.  God is so wonderful.  I can't say it how much I love Him.  May He bless you!

In Him,

Kaydge


Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Just to let you know, this post is going to be a little bit, shall I say, long.  But perhaps, if you so endeavor the feat of indulging, you will find it enlightening.  What I have chosen to enter for today’s post is a philosophical writing by astute scientist, mathematician, and philosopher, Blaize Pascal.  The point he makes has to do with the different philosophical views of sceptics and dogmatists and how they try to figure out truth and life through nature and reason.  Pascal takes their views and shows how, even through their efforts, though great they are, in the end the result in pointing to how God is the only way by which we can find certain truth and cause and purpose of life.  That being said, I invite you to immerse yourself in deep, influential thought if you so desire.

 

            The strongest of the sceptics’ arguments, to say nothing of minor points, is that we cannot be sure that these principles are true (faith and revelation apart) except through some natural intuition.  Now this natural intuition affords no convincing proof that they are true.  There is no certainty, apart from faith, as to whether man was created by a good God, an evil demon, or just by chance, and so it is a matter of doubt, depending on our origin, whether these innate principles are true, false or uncertain. 

 

          Moreover, no one can be sure, apart from faith, whether he is sleeping or waking, because when we are asleep we are just as firmly convinced that we are awake as we are now.  As we often dream we are dreaming, piling up on dream on another, is it not possible that this half of our life is itself just a dream, on to which the others are grafted, and from which we shall awake when we die?  That while it lasts we are as little in possession of the principles of truth and goodness as during normal sleep?  All this passage of time, of life, all these different bodies which we feel, the different thoughts which stir us, may be no more than illusions like the passage of time and vain phantoms of our dreams.  We think we are seeing space, shape, movement, we feel time pass, we measure it, in fact we behave just as we do when we are awake.  As a result, since half our life is spent in sleep, on our own admission and despite appearances we have no idea of the truth because all our intuitions are simply illusions during that time.  Who knows whether the other half of our lives, when we think we are awake, is not another sleep slightly different from the first, on to which our dreams are grafted as our sleep appears, and from which we awake when we think we are sleeping?  And who can doubt that, if we dreamed in the company of others and our dreams happened to agree, which is common enough, and if we were alone when awake, we should think things had been turned upside-down?

 

          These are the main points on each side, to say nothing of minor arguments, like those the sceptics direct against the influences of habit, education, local customs, and son on, which the slightest puff of skepticism overturns, though they convince the majoritye of ordinary people, who have only this vain basis for their dogmas.  You have only to look at their books; if you are not sufficiently persuaded you soon will be, perhaps too much so. 

         

          I pause at the dogmatists’ only strong point, which is that we cannot doubt natural principles if we speak sincerely and in all good faith.

 

          To which the sceptics reply, in a word, that uncertainty as to our origin entails uncertainty as to our nature.  The dogmatists have been trying to answer that ever since the world began. 

 

          (Anyone wanting ampler information about skepticism should look at their books; he will soon be persuaded, perhaps too much so.)

 

          This means open war between men, in which everyone is obliged to take sides ,either with the dogmatists or with the sceptics, because anyone who imagines he can stay neutral is a sceptic par excellence.  This neutrality is the essence of their clique.  Anyone who is not against them is their staunch supporter, and that is where their advantage appears.  They are not even for themselves; they are neutral, indifferent, suspending judgment on everything, including themselves. 

 

          What then is man to do in this state of affairs?  Is he to doubt everything, to doubt whether he is awake, whether he is being pinched or burned?  Is he to doubt whether he is doubting, to doubt whether he exists? 

         

          No one can go that far, and I maintain that a perfectly genuine sceptic has never existed.  Nature backs up helpless reason and stops it going so wildly astray.

 

          Is he, on the other hand, to say that he is the certain possessor of truth, when at eh slightest pressure he fails to prove his claim and is compelled to loose his grasp?

 

          What sort of freak then is man!  How novel, how monstrous, how chaotic, how paradoxical, how prodigious!  Judge of all things, feeble earthworm, repository of truth, sink of doubt and error, glory and refuse of the universe! 

 

          Who will unravel such a tangle?  This is certainly beyond dogmatism and skepticism, beyond all human philosophy.  Man transcends man.  Let us then concede to the sceptics what they have so often proclaimed, that truth lies beyond our scope and is unattainable quarry, that it is not earthly denizen, but at home in heaven, lying in the lap of God, to be known only in so far as it pleases him to reveal it.  Let us learn our true nature from the uncreated and incarnate truth.

 

          If we seek truth through reason we cannot avoid one of these three sects.  You cannot be a sceptic or a Platonist without stifling nature, you cannot be a dogmatist without turning your back on reason.

 

          Nature confounds the sceptics and Platonists, and reason confounds the dogmatists.  What then will become of you, man, seeking to discover your true condition through natural reason?  You cannot avoid one of these three sects nor survive in any of them.

 

          Know then, proud man, what a paradox you are to yourself.  Be humble, impotent reason!  Be silent, feeble nature!  Learn that man infinitely transcends man, hear from you master your true condition, which is unknown to you.

 

          Listen to God.

 

          Is it not clear as day that man’s condition is dual?  The point is that if man had never been corrupted, he would, in his innocence, confidently enjoy both truth and felicity, and, if man had never been anything but corrupt, he would have not idea either of truth or bliss.  But unhappy as we are (and we should be less so if there were no element of greatness in our condition) we have an idea of happiness but we cannot attain it.  We perceive an image of the truth and possess nothing but falsehood, being equally incapable of absolute ignorance and certain knowledge; so obvious is it that we once enjoyed a degree of perfection from which we have unhappily fallen.

 

          Let us then conceive that man’s condition is dual.  Let us conceive that man infinitely transcends man, and that without the aid of faith he would remain inconceivable to himself, for who cannot see that unless we realize the duality of human nature we remain invincibly ignorant of the truth about ourselves?

 

          It is, however, an astounding thing that the mystery furthest from our ken, that of the transmission of sin, should be something without which we can have no knowledge of ourselves.

 

          Without doubt nothing is more shocking to our reason than to say that the sin of the first man has implicated in its guilt men so far from the original sin that they seem incapable of sharing it.  This flow of guilt does not seem merely impossible to us, but indeed most unjust.  What could be more contrary to the rules of our miserable justice than the eternal damnation of a child, incapable of will, for an act in which he seems to have so little part that it was actually committed 6,000 years before he existed?  Certainly nothing jolts us more rudely than this doctrine, and yet, but for this mystery, the most incomprehensible of all, we remain incomprehensible to ourselves.  The knot of our condition was twisted and turned in that abyss, so that it is harder to conceive of man without this mystery than for man to conceive of it himself. 

 

          This shows that God, in his desire to make the difficulties of our existence unintelligible to us, hid the knot so high, or more precisely, so low, that we were quite unable to reach it.  Consequently it is not through the proud activity of our reason but through its simple submission that we can really know ourselves.

 

          These fundamental facts, solidly established on the inviolable authority of religion, teach us that there are in faith two equally constant truths.  One is that man in the state of his creation, or in the state of grace, is exalted above the whole of nature, make like unto God and sharing in his divinity.  The other is that in the state of corruption and sin he has fallen from that state and has become like the beasts.  These two propositions are equally firm and certain. 

 

          Scripture openly declares this when it says in certain places:  My delights were with the sons of men-I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh-Ye are gods, while saying in others:  All flesh is grass-Man is like the beasts that perish-I said in my heart concerning the estate of the sons of men.

 

          Whence it is clearly evident that man through grace is made like unto God and shares his divinity, and without grace he is treated like the beasts in the field.



Next 5 >>