being stupid. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

blank.

NOTE TO SELF:
stop being stupid and snap the hell out of it, thanks.

I think my problem is that I am always thinking "things will work out in the end"... but I fail to realize that I can act in the meantime to make situations better.  I'm a believer in choices, though not necessarily fate.  I believe that you can alter your fate, take charge and make changes; however I never live up to this belief.  I don't know what it is, whether I'm too lazy or too scared but I don't always take charge when I need to.  Why is that? 

Life tends to move on whether I'm ready or not.  Thats when things start to pile up and I find myself on top of a mountain trying to organize these issues days or even minutes before things are "due". 

I think I know exactly what I'm feeling, doing and thinking but I'm kind of lost in which way to take/lead situations.  That's probably the reason why I never "act", and then consequences start to become a familiar face.  I won't let myself become hopeless though, that'd just be too tragic.

You know those books with alternate endings? I hate them but I feel like I can write a book about my life just like that.  It's just CHOICES that I need to make and eventually won't be able to hold off anymore.
But isn't it okay to be lost sometimes?
Ugh I'm really not too great at this life thing. 

On the other hand, I just finished my postlab for chem :) yay...(even though it was literally 3 questions long) now i gotta do like three prelabs. This weekend I want to finish this book that I've started months ago but never finished.  I also want to watch The Notebook again for the 50th time... :)  And i gotta re-evaluate some things aka wtf am i doing!