Reality

What is reality?  What is real?  I fear I do not know, for I cannot discern the truth.  I see the world through tinted glass, and I am left unsure of other's intent.  Is a smile just a smile, or is there more behind?  How am I sure that is not just what I want to believe?  Is being occasionaly ignored a sign of veiled dislike or it is simply human forgetfulness? Filled with uncertainty I try not to stray too far in either extreme, but I find myself instead of standing on neutral ground, being flung from extreme to extreme like a ball in some sick tennis match, until I'm lost irretreivably in my own delusions. 

I have been, I am, I shall remain.