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| There are things that make you an adult. It can be as simple as a sentence. A single truth that completely disrupts your world. I'm not sure what to make of it all. You finally realize that your parents have a past that's infinitely worse and more tragic than anything you will ever suffer.
I really hate the word "bummer." Somehow it never seems like the right word. It's tone, no matter what occasion, even when used close to properly, implies sarcasm.
Logen said something in her blog. To plagiarize:
But it is true. It wasn't that we had a hard time being in love with one another, we just had a hard time being in a relationship with one another.
That is so true. Candice told me today that I seem much more relaxed and genuine than I ever have in a relationship. It's the first one I've felt like I didn't have to really work for; like things just work. My last REAL relationship (the scarring kind)...we were good at loving each other, but the inability to succeed in a relationship led me to become bitter. I was always on the watch, always nervous and fearful. I loved him dearly, but I couldn't feel truly comfortable with the state of things. Ever.
Things with AA were rough from the beginning. I believe that a rough start, like in horse racing, is extraordinarily difficult to overcome. Not impossible, but difficult. You have to set the tone at the beginning, and if there's a red flag at the beginning--if there's any hesitation based on the person or his/her ability to communicate--then it probably isn't worth the effort.
There are scores of other "relationships". Most of them failing because of circumstances or sheer boredom. I'm glad I had them.
I think God plays a huge role. I don't believe in soul mates. Not at all. But I do believe that there are people that are more suited to each other through inexplicable ways that can only be attributed to the Divine. And relationships are hard work, but if you're working all the time, then perhaps you found someone that you don't share the Divine spark with.
I've been thinking about all of these things lately. I think people often stay in bad relationships and it ruins them. It takes little pieces from their joy in such minute increments that they end up bitter and spiteful and lonely, even when their partner is sitting in the same room. My goal in life is not be this way.
I don't like to write here much anymore. I feel like my life is mine. It's very selfish, but I feel that if you're important enough, you're living it with me and not reading about it. The things I think and feel tend to be more mundane and less interesting. I'm surprisingly busy doing absolutely nothing. It's great.
Nevertheless,
HOLLA! 
-Celeste out
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| So I had a wonderful day! Complete with zoo-ing and cleaning and kissing and relaxing. I wish every day could be like this.
I think I found my pooch!
And I think I've found my good horse.
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| Hey baby come round
keep holding me down
and I'll be keeping you up tonight
A four letter word got stuck in my head
the dirtiest word that I've ever said
it's making me feel alright
For what it's worth, I love you
and what is worse, I really do
For what it's worth I'm gonna run run run
'till the sweetness gets to you
and what is worse, I love you!
Hey please baby come back
there'll be no more loving attacks
and I'll be keeping it cool tonight
The four letter word is out of my head
come on around get back in my bed
keep making me feel alright
For what it's worth, I like you
and what is worse, I really do
things have been worse and we had fun fun fun
'til I said I love you
and what is worse, I really do!
For what it's worth I love you
and what is worse I really do...
For what it's worth I love you
and what is worse I really do
For what it's worth I love you
and what is worse I really do
Ah ah ah ah ah ah...
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| I feel very...right.
Supposed to be here now.
It's nice, for a change.
On another note: I can't wait to get into the new house (and subsequent partying) and for the Old 97's and road trip with boyfriend and sun and summer and movies and the lake and Kristy and Matty and hamburgers and life and love and happiness.
Peace & Love & Kittens to all.
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| Happy! 
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