I wrote this during english class:

This game we call life has no rules, no boundaries, and no guidlines.   I always wonder why we play at all, if mistakes and and cheating are permitted, then how do we win?  the psychological aspect of this game is hard and causes us to sometimes be overly extatic but other times depressed and sad unkowing of which direction to turn.  the heart and mind aren't always on our side because they trick you.  they trick your feelings which distort your actions which often leads to frustration and rarely happiness.  if only i could understand how to play then i would have understood what to do then.  a stupid decision which made things awkward and an attempt to reach normality again.  if only other people could just stay out of the way and not interfere.  boom, we move forward anywayz and crash, automatically things fall apart.  a suggestion that turns into an assumption which can ruin a relationship.  a hint about how if somebody did like you then you would be together and the sudden realization that you tried to take your feelings to far and you exploded the best thing that you had going for you.  thoughts racing through my mind of how things used to be when you knew that nothing would change.  you realize that the girl u have liked for 2 years, such a long, long time never liked you and probably never will.  sadness, as you realize that you will never have what you truly want.  then you realize, i'm a total failure, you spent time hoping, holding on to that sliver of hope, that chance that maybe she someday will return everything you have felt for so long. she tricks your heart and makes you belive that since you are so involved and spend so much time on her that her mind will change.  you begin to hate yourself for believing and wishing that someday she will stop lying and finally tell you the truth.  once you realize that she is just trying to be nice and that she doesn't actually like and never has and your heart is broken, torn into pieces, your stomach in knots and your mind turning, your eyes are watery and you feel the tears are coming, one drops and the realization that it was all a lie hits u, all time u wasted was all for nothing, all for not.  ou wish you could figure out who that lucky, lucky guy was and you hate yourself for being tricked.  thinking too much again.  i lost at the game, im failling again, i feel in love all over again, 3months apart and i come running back.  stupid me... tick, tock, drop, knock, ring, vroom and the rest just fades away into oblivion.