i dont think ill be using this anymore. I'm going to be using myspace now

www.myspace.com/avolyn

go there

Last weekend. Mac came over and we had a grand ol' time like always. In that second picture of me that looks akward we were warming our buns you cant see the fire but yeah, we're dorks

This week was the week from hell it seemed. Seeing as i dont know if many more things could go wrong i think this new week is automatically promising for that reason.

^ Riad chewing his brownie or Oreo one of the two...at the last octagon meeting of the year (Sad)

So this weekend wasn't the greatest it could have been. Friday sucked because it was a half day (good) but the weather was the worst and i was supposed to have plans with K80 but she told me at school that she was grounded and couldn't come over. That night i had nothing else better to do so i went out to a movie with the family and we saw RV which was good. I saw K80 there with a group of loud people that were sitting up in the back of the theater. She tried so hard to make it so that i wouldnt notice her but i did. I havent spoken to her sense she knew i saw her and she knows anything i would have said about it anyway and im just gonna stop trying to make plans with her because its obvious she doesnt want to have plans with me anyways.

Saturday was boring nothing happened. Felt sort of depressed that i wasnt going to prom not that i would be but just knowing how everyone was getting dressed up and all that jazz. We we were going to go out for our mothers day dinner and we were going to go to the texas roadhouse but of course that place was swamped. So we went to steak & Shake instead and we're going to go to the texas roadhouse some other day this week. I got new shoes that i really do love and a new sweatshirt to keep me warm and that was pretty much the only good part of my day.

^new shoes

Today started off ok i had my doubts because my mom and i seem to never have good encounters anymore so i was a bit nervous. My dad emailed my mom about how he wanted to provide the transportation to the movie that we were going to see but my mom never got back to him so he wasnt sure if she got the message and decided to call her. She wanted to talk to me and said that ONCE AGAIN she'd be willing to give up the whole time together all because of the stupid car ride. AND she would then tell her lawyer that she was DENIED mothers day which is not at all true. She told me that she would be on her way to pick me up. Of course i wasnt going to go with her because she knew the deal but she chose to show up anyway and sat at the end of my driveway for i dont know how long. Vicki came back from church and needed to get into the driveway and my mom wouldnt let her. So after a while my mom finally gave up and got out of the driveway. My mom called but i missed the call so i called her back after she left the message she was giving into my dad providing the ride and wanted to know what time i wanted to go to the movie poseidon and we decided on 2:50. So i went over to my sister Kristins house because shay was having a party since today she got god parents after that my dad and i had to run to hyvee for some things then my dad dropped me off at the movie. The movie was ok sort of scary not because it wasnt hard to figure out the ending but just because it kept me on edge and i really didnt know what the movie was about in the first place until it started. good movie tho.

So after that whole fiasco i went home and then we had dinner then my dad took me to youth group which went ok. Heard some interesting stories about prom and some drama that went down not suprising and how my friend brittany got sick on some thing at planet-x where the post prom party was held.

^picture of the cherry tree in our front yard that i took a couple of weeks ago

SO maybe next weekend will go better. I'm hoping so because this weekend was just dumb...

I think we now know who the real model in the family is. I took so many pictures of her today im suprised she held still that long or had the patience. usually she would have ran off after a couple of pictures.

So today wasn't all that great. I was hoping that maybe it would be great just because of the sucky week i had last week and the weekend that was lacking to say the least. Oh well. I guess when you've reached the bottom of the hill the only way to go is up. (i hope anyways)

I talked to Dane on the bus today i usually dont just because he hardly ever rides the bus his brother usually gives him a ride but we talked and he is more down to earth than i would have expected. An interesting kid indeed.

Tonight Vicki and i ran to walmart to get trevor (my little brother) some medicine for his sore throat and we were glancing at the clothes and i found the cutest sweater thing (can u believe it) and it was only a dollar hilarious lemme tell you.

Well I suppose i've rambled enough. Hope this week turns out better for me.

Well this past week has been pretty crappy and today it's been raining all day. Oh i need a break. but in the meantime im trying to make light of things. I got my new Camera seeing as my other one was stolen.

So yesterday I went downtown for this thing my mom heard about on the radio. it was supposed to be for people wanting to get discovered for modeling, singing, or acting my mom took me because she thought i had a chance at being a model and i figured what the heck. (i really do want to model but i was never sure i had the talent)

We went and then recieved a call today about it. They were interested in me so then tonight at 5:30 we met for an interview downtown again and got signed up we signed the contract and everything.

Seeing as im going to try and compete infront of agents i have to know what im doing so in the contract it says i have to have 25 hours of coaching (at the least). The sessions are all held on saturdays in des moines.

Because of a certain visit i had with my mother a few weekends ago my dad no longer feels comfortable having me in a car with my mom alone where i have no way to escape he believes it's not safe (for details i will not go into).

My dad informed my mom that he wanted to provide the transportation until the trial is over. Seeing as my mom will not be giving up we will have to wait about 4 weeks for the actual trial. My mom of course flipped out at my dad and now is telling me that i can no longer go onto pursue this. Even though it would only mean that my dad takes me to 1 (at the most 2) of the 6 final Des Moines trips and will not be taking me for the final trip to Orlando my mother no longer wants me to go.

I find this difficult because my mom does this a lot. If she doesnt want me to do something she could just say so. Instead she says yes then she takes it away once ive gotten my hopes up. Much like the time she told my aunt and uncle lies about how i steal and will runaway if i go to visit them in california, (of course they have not invited me back since then). Or like the time she went up to my friend carlys house (who was my best friend at the time) and told her mom stories about how bad of a person i had turned into and how bad of a person my dad was to the point that i could no longer see carly.

I cant trust my mom anymore i hate what has happened. Im sure it would be nice to have my graduation party at her house but i dont know if i could trust anything else she says for all i know she would just tell me two days before the party that there was no party and i would be screwed.

I also find it funny that if she so desperately wanted to see me why would she give up 4 Des Moines trips and a week in Orlando with me because of 2 Des Moines trips that she acted as if were the end of the world.

She says that i cant go because my dad wont let me. Truth is i was right next to him when he was on the phone talking to my mom about what would have to happen. I heard everything he said I know all his words. You'd think my mom would realize that I caught her red handed. She'd realize that by taking this away it doesnt effect my dad. He could care less (other than the fact that im his daughter) most of all it effects me.

It makes me want to never listen to my mom again i hate how she told me so many times how photogenic i was and now is telling me that i cant do something she supposidly felt so strong about me doing. Its like telling your kid that they got accepted into college at their dream university and that you would help support the cost because u supported what they were doing and then going OOPS WAIT IM PISSED OFF AT YOUR DAD SO IM GONNA MAKE IT SO U CANT DO THIS. feels great...