hey...wow random...im just sitting here thinking of how good my life is right now...and im thinking of everything that has happened in the last year. This time last year there were three people here that arent here anymore. When Greg died...it made me realize how much we have to cherish life and we have to live in the moment. When Nick died...it made me realize how everything we do effects someone life. And when Mom-mom died...it made me realize how we have to hold on to the ones we love when we have them. Though those three people arent here...i think they know that they have changed my life in so many ways. Also in the past year, I have had many people come and go in my life. I realized I have to cherish each and every person. They have all changed me in someway and have shaped my life and made me who I am today.

To my friends:  You are the best friends ever. Whether I am having one of my many moments where I am a bitch or I am crying over a broken heart, you have seen me through it all. When I entered 9th grade, with two friends, I was scared as all hell. Now, because of you, I can hold my head up high and smile because I am me.

To Ash: Wow! I don't know where I would be without you. I know we disagree sometimes and we might get into crazy fights ((tickle fights that is!)) but at the end of the day, if I lost every friend I have, I know that you would be there with me. You are truly a great person. You have such an influence on everyone you meet. I look up to you and respect you so much for just being you and not giving a damn. I love you Chi...always!

To the band and guard: This has been one crazy year filled with ups ((winning indoor guard champs)) and downs ((d-r-a-m-a)). As I look back and reflect upon it, I wouldnt be any bit of the person I am without all of you. You have all helped make and break me. I know that we had a rough year and that things got alil shaky at times...ok many times...but you are all truly unique in your own way. Whether you are making me laugh or cry, smile or want to hit you...you are all very special to me and have helped me along the road. Thanks guys...you are always in my heart.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! i hope you all get a chance to reflect on this past year as well

xOx.ali

I wish the world would stop spinning for one minute

So I could see the *stars* in your eyes

I was bored so i made a new layout...comment if you like it!

xOx.ali

5:23 this morning my hero died

Rest in Peace Mom-Mom....i love you and i always will

Thank you for a great 15 years and for always being there for me

today was one of the hardest most emotional days of my life

she gave up...she said no surgery....she said that no matter where she is she will always love me...she told me to always remember her

i came home...walked by her room n broke down in tears....i stablized myself then was gettin ready to go to work when i had to get tissue paper for my dad in her closet...i opened her closet and saw all the clothes that she wont wear again....i smelt her face powder and her perfume....i broke down again

i got to work...and thought of her when i could smell the soup...i remember how jus this june she taught me how to make soup...and me and her stood over the oven...she told me that i have to keep this tradition alive....we sat there and had the soup and sandwhiches together and she told me stories of her childhood....and yet again i broke down

when i saw the ppl eatin....it reminded me of how we would try to go to the olive garden once a month...just me and her....that was our place....we always got soup salad and bread sticks....when i served them food...i broke down again

i hate cryin in front of people that im not close to...its jus not like me....for so long ive tried to hide that this bothers me...ive tried to act like its gonna b ok....that she will make it through....guess wut world....everything is falling apart

ill nvr be able to walk by her room again...ill nvr be able to go to the olive garden again....ill nvr be able to smell her perfume again...ill nvr be able to make another prayer pillow for anyone else....ill nvr be the same

Mom-mom....i love you soo much....thank you for the past 15 years....ur final days are coming....ino that....but i cant accept that you wont b there to watch me play tennis like u promised....or go to my graduation....or watch me go to my prom...wen ur gone im goin to miss you so much....you are the best....i love you more then you will ever know....thank you for everything you always did for me...our girls' day outs....our talks bout boys and school and work....thanks for all ur knowledge and advise you gave me....thanks for always lovin me no matter wut....mom-mom....you are the best

<<i have a feeling this is goin to be a very bad week>>

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