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PDBetty86
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Name: Ashley
Birthday: 4/21/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: I love Jesus! I am a CE major here at Biola Universtiy and am LOVING IT. DISNEYLAND (or "the park" as I like to call it) Creek park, volleyball, friends, roomies and sweeties ect! I now also have this amazing fiance, Matt... whom I love very much!
Expertise: Flying rubber chicken ball - (owner of the beloved Freddie!)
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  PDBetty86
AIM:  SisterAshley2004
Member Since:
8/27/2004
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| Pray for me!So much has happened in my life. God is stretching me so much right
now, its to a point where I feel like I'm going to snap. I am so
thankful for Matt, I know he feels so helpless in this situation right
now. I am so thankful that he will sit next to me, hold me and then
pray for me. What a huge blessing in my life. I sit here with my cup
of noodles, wondering how and when God is going to provide for me. I
know He will, its not a question of that, it is when and how. It also
is a matter of will I let Him. I am so proud, I hate admitting I need
help. I hate admitting that if I don't find a second job or a better
one soon, I will be forced to move home and live with my parents. I
will be forced to make a new life for myself back where I grew up and
will be far away from the people i love who support me the most. I
don't know if that's God's plan... to force me to move home. Or if He
just wants me to trust him. I'm so mixed right now, and I'm so ... *le
sighhhhhhhh* I have no idea what is going on and I'm just trusting and
praying and praying and trusting and I"m not sure what He will do,
which is always scary. Please pray for me, as God is pulling me and
molding me and I feel as if I am barely holding on. Yet I know that He
will be there to catch me if I can't. | | |
| *sigh...As many of you know, I have lost many people in my life. Here is someone that I grew up with. Went on family vacation with many summers, was in church choir with, and shared many fond memories as our families were close growing up.
This is the short story of Lindsey
Please pray. I know that God can heal her, but even if He doesnt, pray that He would use her life and death to greatly impact those around her. If you are thinking that this family looks familiar... you may be right, they were the poster family for forest home for the promo video for about 5 years or so for the family camp. They are just that kind of family.
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| restlessi have had the feeling a lot lately. Too tired to to much and so sick of doing things to zone out that I am warn out and wound up at the same time. It is a very frustrating experience. The bigger problem lies when I'm trying to use different medians to fill the time. I read, surf the web, watch tv, do anything to distract myself from thinking about things that are painful. Things like how everyone (well most people) are graduating and leaving, how I've already graduated and have nothing to show for the last 5 months of my life, how I things I thought I had worked through and gotten past and still very much painful things. I still miss Jessica, the 5 weeks in between our birthdays is always the hardest time. Her birthday was Math 28th. I still haven't healed from being fired, and am still hesitant to fully invest in a church because of that. I still am trying to work out my relationship with God, its been on the rocks lately. Obviously on my side, but I like the fact that I'm still working it out with Him, and not trying to figure it out on my own, so its getting better. I still have deep seeded anger issues with my parents. I still want to get married last december. I hate how these things sneek up on you, especially when you have been pretending they aren't there and ignoring them for so long. It's very rude of them. I wish I could engage them more and try to fix them so that they won't do that anymore... but I don't know how. I guess it's all part of the learning process.
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| introspectionHow well do you know your self? Honestly. It has come to my attention that I don't know myself nearly as well as I thought, and upon further inspection, I don't like most parts of me. I have become selculded and bitter at life. I discoverd that my relationship with Christ is at close to an all time low. Mostly because I have been angry at Him, at least I am still wrestiling through it with Him this time rather than shutting Him out. I am at the core of my being lazy, I hate lazy so I mask my laziness by being busy... I have a severe lack of motivation. I have all this time that I could have been doing something great with being unemploied for nearly 6 months, and I did practically nothing. I also have realized that as you learn more about yourself you learn more about God and visaversa. You can't know the creation in whole without knowing the creator and again visaversa. I realy am working on my life right now, its hard and sucks, but it is growth and it is good. I have more to write on this subject, but it will come later as my head and heart are still processing... | | |
| Yesterday was intense...So yesterday was CRAZY. It started in the wee hrs of the mornning staying up far to late talking to Alexa, my brothers gf who occasionally crashes on my floor or couch. We get along really well and usually end up talking until 3am. April (a friend from home who has recently relocated to long beach) came over for breakfast and catch up time. Andrew (my lil' bro) joined us for pancakes and muffins. Then I did some chore type things around the apartment, Matt came over and we watched Oceans 11 on TV (w/ comersials it takes FOREVER) and he beat me very badly at scrabble. We also had a quick dinner on my wonderful budget which = macncheese. I then returned to my room to relax and goof off. This is where it gets good.... My roomie, supper ill. Fever of over 102 for several hours, and really not feeling well at all. Her bf took her to the emergancy room. She had a severe case of strept throat, it wasnt' just in her throat either. So with roomie ubber ill, my plans for going to the play were crushed, as I know how wonderful all of you where when i was in that boat, I know how much it means to people to support them through illness... so i stayed home. Andrew and Alexa were due back at my aptment by 1. When they came up the walk Alexa was crying. I'm freaking out thinking my brother was being a dumb boy. Only to find out, they were MUGGED!!! who in their right mind muggs a 6'9'' guy and his 6'1'' gf??? The person got away with their wallets, and thats all. I am so thankful for their safty. Aparently they were eatting a late night in-n-out snack in their car in the parking lot, and the guy just opened Alexa's door and said give me your wallets. They both complied and both were worried about the other person. Needless to say they were both extreamly shaken as they got to my apartment. I feel so helpless and scared. Are none of us safe? Can we not sit in our cars eating so that we can have a more private conversation? We cancelled the credit cards last night so the guy is only really going to be able to use the cash. I can't beleive this happend. Honestly, its SOOOO crazy. They realize that sitting in a semi dark parkinglot was a bad idea, as well as with the doors unlocked, but seriously... they were both up late sitting on my couch crying. I offered my bro to sleep on the couch (cuz Alexa was in my room). He acepted, because Alexa asked him to cuz she felt more safe that way. I prayed with both of them, but there are going to be some serious issues today. Mostly because its sunday, and niether of them have ANY way to get money and Alexa needs to get home. I'm loaning them some... however, my finanical situation as you know... isn't the best. Please pray for peace, and that this doesn't deture Alexa from comming to Biola in the future as planed. Thanks all sry it was long | | |
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