PaPeRCuTxMyWRiSt
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Name: Olivia
Country: United States
State: Ohio
Metro: Fostoria
Birthday: 4/5/1992
Gender: Female


Interests: God ;; Karl <333 ;; cheerleading ;; show choir ;; Good Charlotte ;; Simple Plan ;; Fall Out Boy ;; All-American Rejects ;; Relient K ;; Hawthorne Heights ;; My Chemical Romance ;; Yellowcard ;; Senses Fail ;; Avril ;; A*Teens ;; 60's rock ;; llamas ;; llama kisses ;;
Expertise: falling short of the glory of God // poetry // acting //


Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM: waste of deathx3
AIM: PaPeRCuTxMyWRiSt
AIM: Dy1nG DrEaMs 09
AIM: xOhSoPuNkRoCKx
AIM: FaRxFruMxPuRfeCt


Member Since: 6/1/2005

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~C.R.A.S.H.~
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"oh you smoke?" let me get a gun & kill u quicker
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My boyfriend is amazing.
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! » GoOd ChArLoTtE « !
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LaKoTa hIgH sChOoL
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Monday, September 12, 2005

New xanga.  Woot woot.

brokenx3HEARTattack

look, comment, suscribe!!

**<33


Sunday, September 11, 2005

Dad found out. About everything.

I don't think I've ever wanted out of this life more.  I just can't take this. I can't handle it. I don't know what to do .. and he's not allowed to help me .

I can't do this.  I just can't.  Karl, you can't come over today.  I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything.

I've never hated myself more than I do now.  I need to tell my parents about my depression.  But I can't. I just can't.

I can't take this.  I'm sorry.


Saturday, September 10, 2005

waste of deathx3 (1:03:16 PM): go with ur gut instinct
Reptimaniac45 (1:03:45 PM): my gut instinct says to jump off a building, it also says i can fly

Yesterday I wrote free-hand and turned it into poem form.  I haven't done that in ages.  It started out as talking about how angry I was with my parents, but ((as free handing usually does)) went into something a bit more serious.  Click this to read it.

Soo today I had to cheer at a game in Woodmore.  It was the most fun I'd had at a game so far.  It was hot though, and there were a lot of bees. Alyx got stung.  There was this hott guy taking pictures for Woodmore.  Savannah spent the whole game trying to get his picture, but he was too far away and none of the little kids would do it for her.  So at the end of the game she gives me the camera and we go to find him.  Me and her ran up and I tapped him on the shoulder and said, "We think you're hott, can we have your picture??"  He let us take one.  Then we got on the bus and we were all looking at his picture and he walks by.. so Alyx asks him if he has a sn.  He comes to the bus door and the bus driver wouldn't open it to get on our nerves .  He did though cuz we yelled at him .. we found out the guy's name was TJ and we all got his sn.  I snuck in another picture.  As we were pulling out I yelled "BYE TJ!" and he waved, but I got in trouble for yelling.  Oops.

No worries, though.  Karl's hotter.

And he's so totally coming to see me today.  I'm uber excited. He makes me happy.

Well anyhoo.. I got home and was getting my stuff out of my duffel bag and there was a cricket in my room.  Those who know me well know crickets are one of my biggest fears.  So I freaked and got my dad to kill it ... it was half-dead and missing a leg.  There's a cricket leg in my room somewhere.  Extremely disgusting.

The football game's tonight. I'm only going if dad goes.  And if dad goes, it'll be hard to avoid him and hang out with Karl.  Not cool.

My mom's ordering me pizza. Woot woot.

**<33


Thursday, September 08, 2005

Jimmy won class president.

I had a grreat time with Karl, even though I had to show up to show choir drenched.

Melissa Kreais is my choir "mentor." freakin sweet.

I really don't like updating anymore, when I have nothing to update about.  I found out that I'm "bitchin!" today.  Whatever that means.

I find myself near tears and extremely exhausted at random moments.  Frustrated, tired, and bitchy, all at one time.  I'm just .. completely sick of everything.

**<33

This poem makes me feel happy, though. More like actually cared for. I don't get that from these people I'm forced to live with.. anyhoo. Karl wrote it for me

She feels alone
She feels despair
She feels broken
Does anyone care...

That she’s crying out in pain
That her tears never end
That she never said she’s happy
She just pretends.

She feels trapped
She feels dead
She feels unwanted
Did anyone hear what she said...

That she’s never felt so down before
That her heart feels cold
That she never said she’s joyful
She leaves the truth untold.

Nobody tells her
She’ll be alright
Nobody comforts her
When she cries late at night.

She feels rejected
She feels astray
She feels sorrow
Does anyone say...

That her wounds will one day heal
That they know she has been brave
That her beauty always shows
And that they’re there for her each day.

Nobody hears her....
But me....
nobody tries to save her....
but me....
all i have....
is her....


Wednesday, September 07, 2005

waste of deathx3 (9:29:57 PM): guess what im sending to everyone on my buddy list
waste of deathx3 (9:30:11 PM): *VOTE JIMMY HILL FOR CLASS PRESIDENT TOMORROW*
waste of deathx3 (9:30:13 PM): lol
GCst8erboy (9:30:29 PM):
GCst8erboy (9:30:33 PM): good job
GCst8erboy (9:30:55 PM): now this is why your my bestfriend right here

yay that makes me happy. VOTE JIMMY!!!



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