| I really like the fact I get to write an essay over the importance music plays in the movie "Detroit Rock City". College is amazing. :D
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| I fell asleep while reading at about 8:30ish. So I woke up at 3:30ish in the morning. So I decided to busy myself since I cannot go back to sleep....
I have had Xanga for 1762 days. Crazy... I read some of my old entires, haha sooo stupid. So yay for pointless writing for about 4.8 years.
On a slightly different note:
This caught my eye.
"No one can ever be completely understood. (That's the tragedy of the human condition—that no one will ever truly see you as you want to be seen. But fuck it—I embrace it.) And I'm psyched that people seem to like to what they do see, even if there are parts of me that maybe they don't see….and even if maybe I wish they would . . . ."
-Gabe Saporta
I definitely agree. I mean, I have no reason to be understood by anyone, I am not famous, I have no fans who listen to lyrics I wrote that define who I am or whatever else I want to get across. I am not a poet, I don't even usually write my thoughts down; though I have enough thoughts to fill an ocean. I definitely believe that no one except God and myself will ever understand me, nor would I really want them to.
People only see what they want to see.. I mean sure you could change how they see you by doing something or saying something... but that doesn't change who you really are. It is just a matter of perception. I have always wondered what goes on in people's heads. I love to read things people write or just listen to them talk, about anything.. deep or meaningless.
Now, I will admit.. there are not a whole lot of things I am good at... but one thing is sure, I am a DAMN good listener. I may not have the best advice to give you... but if you just need to say something out loud.. just so someone hears it, I am here. I feel that when yoi listen to people you get more insight on who they are.
It is like that metaphor about the icebergs. How you only see 10% of the iceberg, and the rest of it is underwater. People are the same way... you see them for who they appear to be. But I have always been curious to see more than just 10% of people. Maybe that is why I am such a good listener. I cannot remember hardly anything I learned in Spanish this past year... but I remember random facts about people from 4 years ago. Why would I remember something someone mentioned in a conversation 4 years ago as opposed to something I need to graduate and be successful? Because I could careless about Spanish, it is not important to me. But learning about people is important to me. The more I understand about other people, the more I learn about myself.
And back on the iceberg subject before it gets pushed out of my mind... I wonder how people see me. Which 10% are they seeing? People generally like me (but there are always those exceptions) but I constantly wonder why. I try think of how others seem me... but in all honesty it is pointless. I know myself too well to just chop off other parts of me and see myself how people from the outside view me. And though I still wonder, I try to forget it and just keep on doing whatever it is I do.
This makes me think about something someone said to me the other day. They mentioned something about me having a lot of gay friends, which is weird because I am a Christian. I took a little offense to it, I mean... one: I don't think homosexuality is a sin. I am not going to argue my point... but yeah, that is what I believe. and two: What do my friends have to do with me being who I am? Nothing. I hang out with the people I hang out with because I enjoy their company and because I have fun and can be myself around those people... whether they are gay, lesbian, white, black, girl or boy. I base my friendships on more than those things. Those qualities do not define a person. I hope people see more to me than: White, Female. But like it says in Gabe's quote... that is the tragedy of the human condition. No one is going to see you exactly as you want to be seen.
For me, this raises the question... why try? If no one is ever going to be able to understand you... why would you even try? Well, personally, I try because I know there are at least a few people out there, much like myself, who care about seeing more of people then who they let on to be. I am an open book... I don't have too many secrets. I usually tell people whatever they would like to know about me... whether it is my favorite food, or something really personal. I don't believe that I have anything I need to hide if someone cares enough to want to know something about me. I feel it is just them trying to understand why I am the way I am and why I do the things I do.
I know this isn't really going anywhere. But it just got me thinking and since I had nothing else to occupy my time with, I thought I would write a bit of it down since I don't use this thing very much.
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