PerkyPunk8064's Xanga

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 20:07:57 GMT

God told me to let go.
So I am. I'm stepping back, but it's more of an attitudinal thing than something you'll even notice. Which is fine, and I even feel mildly liberated. You and I are still friends so you won't even notice. It's more something changed in my heart.

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Anyway.
12 days marks the 3 year mark of Katie dying.
22 days marks the 1 year anniversary of Katelynn dying.
7 months and 6 days until I graduate from college.

Holy eff time flies.

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I've been approached by a church in Massachusetts wondering what I'm doing after I graduate. It's a crazy small church, 50-70 people total on any given Sunday.
My mum has a co-worker who asked for my resume for their church in Springfield, VA. They need a CP + Preschool director. Dag yo.

I'm still kind of holding out for Arizona. I won't lie.

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This has been a weird week full of stress and tests. I had 2 exams, 1 quiz, and still have 1 more exam coming up this weekend (it's a class I'm GISing, so the exam is online). It's been stressful. Especially since I just found out about 2 of the exams on Sunday, after studying 3 hours for a different exam that I thought was earlier.

I hate math classes.

Stupid Girl moment. . .

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 04:18:22 GMT

I want to be romanced.
I want a wonderful date- not one with some guy in a tactical vest. (Don't ask.)
I want flowers, a planned date of romance and fun. I want to laugh and be giddy and just enjoy being with him.

Dangit.
I hate being a girl sometimes.

Crap I just lost this entry. Effort #2

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 20:48:12 GMT

Remember that financial miracle I've been praying for for years?

God provided. I paid off all my bills except for one but that's because their bill pay is gay. I bought all of my books, and even had a little left over to save and spend on myself. God's awesome.

Today I felt like God called me to be a foster mom. It totally makes sense. I've never been hyper keen on being The children's pastor in a church. I love taking care of people and making sure they're comfortable in my dorm/home. I love being hospitable. My biggest things I want in my involvement in children's ministry is to make sure kids feel safe, loved, and happy. That's it. I never really knew what else I wanted to do- never had a clear vision. And now I feel like foster mom is so awesome. Plus I've got my counseling minor which really will help give me an idea of how to deal with certain things.

I feel like spinning out of control in happiness and jumping around. I jumped and twirled in chapel yesterday which I've never done before. I feel so amazing. I feel so blessed. I feel like my life is taking shape.

Even within my own skin I've been feeling more comfortable and more capable. I've been feeling more like a woman and more like an adult even though I'm still in college and still desperately in need of God to take care of me. I'm finding my own style with my clothes, and somehow despite not really liking the short hair a ton, I think that's helped me too. Weird. My life just feels like my life now. I feel like I can't stop smiling. :o)

Singin' all your promises wont let go of me
(4x)

I surrendered my life to your ways
I have learned what it means to obey
Jesus my heart has been changed by you

I am walking the path you have made
I am seeking the truth every day
Jesus my heart has been changed by you

I couldnt walk away if i tried
'Cause your love is better than life

Now the suns shining bright
And it just wont set
'Cause your love is a light and it lights my step
My heart is amazed every day to the next
Your joy overtakes and i cant Forget about it
Woah-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh
I cant forget about it
Woah-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh
I cant forget about it

I surrenderd my life to your ways
I have learned what it means to obey
Jesus my heart has been changed by you

I am walking the path you have made
I am seeking the truth every day
Jesus my heart has been changed by you

I couldnt walk away if i tried
'Cause your love is better than life

Now the suns shining bright
And it just wont set
'Cause your love is a light and it lights my step
My heart is amazed every day to the next
Your joy overtakes and i cant Forget about it
Woah-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh
I cant forget about it
Woah-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh
I cant forget about it

Singin' all your promises wont let go of me
(4x)

Now the suns shining bright
And it just wont set
'Cause your love is a light and it lights my step
My heart is amazed every day to the next
Your joy overtakes and i cant Forget about it
Woah-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh
I cant forget about it
Woah-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh
I cant forget about it

All your promises wont let go of me
Singin' all your promises wont let go of me
(3x)

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 20:29:09 GMT

I feel pretty today.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 17:57:17 GMT

I have a new-found love for the Beatles.
Granted it's all because of Across the Universe, but that's ok. At least I like them. :o)

Oh! And I just discovered I like baseball! Literally like 2 days ago at lunch I realized I like baseball!

And! I went to a shooting range yesterday! I shot a .9 and a .22- the .22 was easy but dang. . . the .9 hurt both my shoulders this morning from the kick-back. =P I put one of my targets with most of the face missing on my door to my room and wrote, "REMEMBER: Student Life <3's you!" with a big smiley face. =P

Friday, September 12, 2008

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 20:42:56 GMT

Ok it really bothers me when people say to/about someone with an eating disorder "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU JUST EAT A SANDWICH!!!" or something to that affect.
I just read that a paparazzi ran up to a celebrity stylist and called her a horrible person who's a bad influence for women then laughed about it.

What the eff? IF she's actually anorexic (which she's unnaturally skinny so I wouldn't be surprised) then calling her a bad person isn't going to help her get better.
It pisses me off to no end. If someone has an eating disorder, they're SICK. They're not bad people they're just SICK. And probably need some therapy to deal with the deeper issues. Some support would probably help them exponentially more than if you were to tell them to eat a sandwich or some crap like that.

Douche.

Monday, September 08, 2008

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 00:29:06 GMT

God you're so faithful.
Thank you thank you thank you thank you.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 13:30:24 GMT

quick update because it's been a long time:

Campus is too small.
I'm loving being an RA.
I love having a single room.
I'm wearing red lipstick.
I need wisdom.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 22:10:32 GMT

Books: $270
Bill #1- $80
Bill #2- $80
Bill #3- $30
Me = Hopeless to pay this off.
I have no money.

Jesus help?

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 10:59:28 GMT

freshman are coming in today.
I have 21.

pray for me.

update more later.
I think.

and I'm sick =(