So after a rather rough two weeks that had some people come out of the woodwork to help out that I greatly appreciate, I have found something interesting.  You know how in cartoons there are two little characters that appear upon a main characters shoulder to tell them what to do?  Just go with it if you don't know what the heck I'm taking about.

So I have discovered that there is a little part of me that likes to really jack up my life.  We like to call him false matt (note the lack of caps).  He is very clever, manipulative, cunning, a lier, selfish, relentless, has a horrible temper and is just pretty much really bad news.  He knows the difference between right and wrong but doesn't really care about what happens as long as he benefits.  Feels little to no remorse for others and does not know the meaning of nor cares about love.  H ehas pretty much undermined any real good effort to accomplish anything for my entire life and has screwed up anything that I had going that was good for me or could lead to good things.

Now there is also the real me whom we now call Truth Matt (note the caps) who is truely a good person.  I remember while I was working for Disney, someone one's said that "if even Matt doesn't like you, then you've got some serious issues" which I took as a big compliment.  I liked pretty much everybody and didn't have any alterior motives behind why, I just wanted to be liked back.  I looked at people as generally good and got used here and there because I was nieve too but it didn't matter then.  Life was all good and having a good time with good people was the priority.

Something happened to that guy during my 20's, he was influenced by false matt to distrust others and dominate them so they couldn't take advantage of me.  He respected the strong and intimidating and made sure he was the same so others would fear him and had to respect him.  He seduced him into being someone he most certainly was not and it stuck in him.  He saw success from this personality he became and people seemed to like and be drawn to it.  These people weren't exactly the people that would be the best to be around but it didn't matter to him, they respected him and would feed his ego.  He wasn't seen as weak anymore, his anger protected him.  And so the spiral began....

This continued up to fairly receintly when I fianlly saw this false matt face to face.  I have never really been afraid of work and as of a few year ago no longer fear a fight.  Dealing with him is and will be both and will need my reliance on Him a lot when there are whispers in my head about things that are not true or are meant to fuel anger in me.  Fortunately, Truth Matt has a very good will and a strong resolve.  The weakness and doubt comes from false matt.  Truth Matt has been catching the thoughts and emotions that steer things in the wrong direction.  I can see Truth Matt putting false matt in his place (which is very small and has very thick walls). 

Nothing like a little psychosis to help straighten your head out.

I heard something on the radio on the way to work that seriously gave me the chills.

(note, ladies this is mostly for the guys who will understand the awesomeness of this because most of you will think it is dumb while most of the guys will all make the same noise "Awwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!"  Not the puppy or kitten one but the noise we make when we see something we think is uber cool).

Mind you, I don't play Guitar Hero on a regular basis and there are only a handful of songs that I enjoy playing on it.  These are the songs that fire me up, stir up my testosterone and make me feel a little invincible.  Otherwise the song is just fun rather than giving me that YA! sensation.

I heard (and already knew) that this game is going after certain bands and making versions of the game after then of which Aerosmith is already a part of...which is awesome.

However, when I heard the news of the band I am about to mention having a game produced after them make my jaw drop and made me make the OOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! noise....heck, I am getting chills right now over the thought of playing the game to the songs this bands makes and have stirred me since high school...That's right people, we are talking about the one and only

Metallica!!!

Ya, buddy, playing Enter the Sandman, Master of Puppets, Ride the Lightning, One, Blackened and about a dozen other hard driving awesome tunes on that game would be one of those gaming experiences that I would seriously not be able to get enough of

I took it too and my results weren't great but seem pretty accurate unfortunately

Global Personality Test Results

trait snapshot: