PhotoPete's Xanga

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 22:03:55 GMT

Monday, March 20, 2006

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 21:57:53 GMT

“So Madison, where was everybody all last week”

“We went on vacation. Did you miss me?”

“Sure. Did you miss me?”

“Nope. We were having fun”

Monday, March 13, 2006

Mon, 13 Mar 2006 22:57:51 GMT

I am one of those people that does not recognize famous people when you happen upon them in public. We were having dinner in NYC where the tables were all jammed up together and some woman had to squeeze behind my chair to leave. Mrs. Pete hissed at me, “Do you know who that is?” I took a good look. “It’s Madonna” she whispers.

No way. I didn’t see Donald Trump on the same visit.

I live in Raleigh and have never seen Clay Aiken. His loss.

We were at a basketball game recently and we go though the usual, “Look! Do you know who that is?”

I see a tall man a few rows down from us. No, I have zero idea who that is.

Mrs Pete says “Use your brain! You’ve seen him dozens of times.”

No clue. Turns out it’s my doctor. OK sue me – I’m stupid!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 22:18:10 GMT

“Hello, are you in charge of the Yellow Page Book deliveries.”

“Yes sir, that’s me”

“Great. You dropped two giant books on my doorstep today and I need for you to have someone come pick them up.”

”Excuse me?”

“I don’t want them. I didn’t ask for them. Please come get them”

“Sir we don’t pick up – we just deliver. If you don’t want them you need to take them to one of our recycle centers”

“I don’t think so. Why should I go out of my way to drive cross town to your recycle center”

“Listen, we just can’t drive around town picking up the books”

”You have time to deliver books all over town unsolicited, but don’t have time to pick them up. Fine. Let’s say I meet you half way? Say at City Hall.”

“Sir, just throw the damn books away. OK?”

Friday, March 03, 2006

Fri, 03 Mar 2006 16:04:02 GMT

There was a 7 year old boy who had never uttered a word. His hearing appeared alright and he seemed like a happy kid so the parents resigned themselves to having a mute child.

Then one day at breakfast the boy cleared his throat and said, “Uh, the toast is burned.”

You can only imagine the emotions the parents experienced! The mother finally was able to ask, “Why haven’t you spoken before?”

He looked at her calmly and replied, “Well Mom, everything’s been OK until today”

+++

So maybe that explains why I’ve not been posting. Everything’s been OK.

Except that I was in the shower the other day and realized we were out of soap so I used Mrs. Pete’s liquid soap which turned out to be hair conditioner. It made the hair on my forearms luxurious.

So I bought Dial Soap for Men. That’s right. Soap for Men. It is dark blue and it has no scent whatsoever. It is so Manly. And blue.

This morning Mrs. Pete wanted to know why the white washcloth is blue.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Sun, 12 Feb 2006 20:38:10 GMT

Due to a sudden and inexplicable fear of identity theft I purchased a paper shredder today. Not that anyone would gain anything by stealing my identity since I assume they would also inherit my Visa bill and my car payments.

So I set up my shredder and feed in the closest paper at hand which happened to be the operating instructions for said shredder.

I hope I’ll not look back at the loss of the instructions as regrettable.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Wed, 01 Feb 2006 16:48:16 GMT

Overheard in the Post Office today.

You know that Jimmy Tatum?

Yeah, he went to school with my boy.

He come to the garage yesterday and asked how much for them hubcaps I got hung up on the wall. And I told him I’d take a dollar a piece.

Did he buy any?

I recon he did. He pulled out a pistol and shot a hole through five of them SOB’s and give me a $5 bill and walked out never said a word.

That Jimmy’s always been a piece of work. I’m scared to death of him.

(Long Silence)

But he’s a good boy. Always been good to his mama.

Oh yeah & he’d do anything for you if you need something.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Mon, 23 Jan 2006 15:59:50 GMT

Hello All,

Since my last posting almost 2 months ago, I was abducted by aliens. But that’s not all bad seeing how I like to travel and meet new people.

2 months. Wow. To quote an old joke: Is it ignorance or apathy? I don’t know & I don’t care.

But seriously, I’ve been up to my eyeballs in wedding work (which is a good thing). I still can’t believe I get paid money to take pictures of pretty women all dressed up in fancy gowns.

Hope everyone is doing well and I’ll do some catch up reading over the next couple of weeks.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Mon, 28 Nov 2005 17:01:16 GMT

Mrs Pete’s late ex-husband. Let’s see, where do I begin?

First of all he had a heart attack and spent a week in the hospital, was discharged, went home and was dead that night. Not a ringing endorsement for the hospital’s discharge policy, but there you go.

Mrs Pete was married to Rex (not his real name) for 20 years. Well Rex worked for a government agency and had accepted a transfer out of state. Well they put their house up for sale went on house-hunting trips. When their house sold and they had the check for their equity he dropped the BOMB – there was no transfer in the works – he just made up the story to put their home on the market to get his share of the equity because he was leaving her. OK Mr Nice Guy of the year.

So she suddenly has a broken home. No wait. She has NO HOME. But she got beyond all that and started life over in a new town. That’s when her phone started ringing. He wasn’t sure he had made the right decision. He wasn’t happy with his girl friend and he missed her sooooo much. Maybe they could reconcile. All the while Mrs Pete’s attorney was trying to get $$$ out of him and now Mrs Pete was having second thoughts about legally pounding him and how he stilled loved her (puke) and how maybe they could work things out (gag).

Then one day her attorney called all giddy and giggly and says “guess who got married this weekend?” Who?

“Rex! That’s who.”

But we aren’t divorced yet!!!! Boys & girls, can you say “bigamy”?

Her attorney does the happy dance while envisioning Rex bending over and grabbing his ankles in court. Well she gives Rex the old legal 1-2 punch and everyone lives happily ever after.

Well not everyone that is.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 16:33:26 GMT

The Church as announced that “active gays” will not be welcomed into the priesthood. OK fine. They also don’t allow “active heterosexuals” into the priesthood either. Celibate. Duh.

The Vatican explains that gays who have overcome homosexual tendencies for at least three years would be considered.

And that begs the question how is that overcoming measured? If you have not hummed a show tune or if you heart hasn’t fluttered at the sight of David Duchovny for 36 months?

I’m sorry. I was raised a Catholic and it just strikes me as silly sometimes.

+++

Another reason to get my hearing tested. I was puzzled to hear on the news that our county school system was benefiting from a tee shirt exchange program. Oh you mean a “Teacher” exchange program. Well that’s another matter altogether.

+++

Mrs. Pete’s first husband died last week and we attended the funeral Sunday. Now that was strange.

+++

By the way we saw Harry Potter 4 at the IMAX last night. Love that five story screen.