snippetsofme..
Sunday, October 05, 2008
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it's a long weekend
I stumbled on someone new to listen to!
i have no idea who he is, but i think he is magic.
as i find him so interesting, he shall deserve 3 songs. his silly squinty eyed look is made bearable by his voice :p (these songs are originals, everything he writes/sings is nice- for laughs, there's one on youtube "I won't Smile" explaining why he has no facial expressions omg frickin ADORABLE)
I watched Fantaghiro (Cave of the Golden Roses) today, it was my favourite movie in my primary school years. It's still so nice I want to cry. It's the nicest fairy tale ever.
Can you imagine being in primary school again? I saw two tiny little boys sitting on a bench eating hot dogs yesterday, and my heart did little squeezes. It's weird, but I felt sorry for them, because children are such poor sweet little helpless things. (I am sure they were very happy munching on the hotdogs and didn't need my sympathy but). I am glad I will never be a child again. I don't ever want to be a poor sweet little helpless thing again. I know there will still be inevitable moments of helplessness over the course of my life, but if I can help it, I still would choose not to be helpless again. It disgusts me, more than a bit.
Friday, September 26, 2008
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Epiphany #20 You want something bad enough, it's yours. The question is, do you know what you want?
It's very, very nice when you've tried your darndest to figure out what it is you wanted, shove at it your bestest effort (despite there always being the two things you should have prioritized better-I still hate myself for that), and finally achieve it.
Hooray to me I got that job! Prospects of an up to $20billion project (significantly larger than my current $500M one), offices in Belgium, Egypt, Spain, New York, Tokyo, Beijing, Singapore, KL, Dubai and 99 others, a ticket to the things I might potentially want, and very much a ticket to the things I want now. It'll be a place of many, many wonderful opportunities that i plan to take. It's not something I could see before, but engineering could possibly be quite an exciting place to be in.
so, a tribute to things you want, knowing they're what you want, working for them, and God blessing the works of your hands. a tribute to one more thing that's mine, and many others to come. (oh the positivity is making me gag)
(The other day, a girl said to me that girls in engineering are ugly -__- i never thought of myself as ugly)
Thursday, September 18, 2008
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the full-grown epiphany
today is not too late to start what I should have started yesterday. But tomorrow- tomorrow will be too late.
I will take my todays, and they will be good yesterdays come tomorrow.
I will smile and be thankful for everything I have, and everything that will be mine.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
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adversity and the hopefully epiphany
The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way. -Robert Kiyosaki whose book I am reading. It's corny but it suits me.
i have been pushing at the limits of my wantings, stretching my dreams, and hoping with uncharacteristic optimism that I wouldn't have to make any more room for disappointment in my heart (I feel i've had plenty). (though I wouldn't say resilience is one of my traits)
Unfortunately I am currently in the throes of disappointment. I think disappointments can be acceptable and survivable, if they are not partly rooted in your own failure to have been better in the first place. If you didn't play some role in actively bringing about your own horrible end (or passively allowing it)- this piece of disappointment. Maybe that's how disappointments are- there are always those two thing you should have done better, or not? Are you excusable in that noone is that perfect, in that everyone wishes to do their best but don't always? I am unsure.
I am pulling at the edges of my adversity quotient- I promise myself not to stop till it is all stretched and expanded and able to carry far more than my physical frame could.
It is a challenge, seeing that Question #3871 asks:
You accidentally delete an important email.
The consequences of this situation will:
Last forever 1 2 3 4 5 Quickly pass
and seeing that the answer is of course, forever.
God help me.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
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Anti-mediocrity propaganda, they were billboards on the roads that were my veins. They are faded billboards scattered beside weather-beaten tombstones, by these roads that are my veins. In the mid-afternoon shadow of what was, in the lingering smell of yesterday's favourite shampoo. Some things die too easily with age, and with disappointment.
In un-refuseable waves it pushes back, this craving for these hands to make i-don't-know what, this body to be more. Maybe that's why I'm here, building things with my mind, in this place that i never consciously wanted to be.
I was honoured with the mostest nicest compliment today :) By my boss saying I am pushy, a little defensive, and quite strong. That I have ambition, and that i will go very, very far. That those weren't just cheap compliments for a pretty girl.
bigweteyes
For a while my hands have felt restless, my bones too heavy and my frame too light all at once. I am glad that by God's grace I have, before I turn 23, birthed a semblance of a plan. I have these things I need to do, and I am glad I got a head start when I began working at 21. I'm desperately driven to driven-ness, ambitious to be ambitious.
:) something good will work out, I am sure. I am feeling optimistic tonight, and it is worth writing about. I don't think I will do very much of this anymore, it is much too personal compared to vain pics.
Friday, August 22, 2008
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Beautiful people
My fave Olympians:
1) Michael Phelps: 8 gold medals is instant plastic surgery hehe. nah he's beautiful :) success and ambition is beautiful. hehe
2) Nastia Liukin: When she leaps, it is like a bird in flight i want to shed tears.
3) Josiah Ng: He is not the most outstanding Olympian, but he is the embodiment of what i think beautiful in a man. so he deserves a picture.
If i were to paint in my head a face that i would find most appealing, it is this. EXACTLY this. A nice smile on a tan face on a 28-year-old :) He is the most appealing thing out of Malaysia i've seen. but hes engaged la why God.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
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sigh
i have been spending all my time in the past week racing and tripping over every line trying to finish reading the most juvenile books i have allowed myself to read in a long time.
it was really quite embarrassing. not the kinda books i would leave lying around if i were expecting visitors.
Stephenie Meyer's Twilight saga. i stayed up till 4 am, to read about teenage vampire romance. le sigh.
strangely addictive though. sometimes i don't want to read Gene Wolfe- sometimes i don't wanna let reading become a literary exercise. sometimes i just want to hear a story. A little weirdass at some parts, too much teenage relationship angst, and not the most flawless plot, but it was a very nice story.
Edward and Bella coming in December to a screen near you. Sigh. the thing with written stories is that they allow you to mould words into pictures in your head, pictures that appeal to you. You see the story through your own private lenses, you see an Edward that is most beautiful to you. And that is how books can be so much more alluring than movies/ drama series (i have no patience for those. at all.).
i am truly sorry that i've finished all 4 books so quickly, and the story has come to an end. suddenly i dont know what to do with my time. sigh. urgh. miserableness.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Phy_lia
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- Name: Phylia
- Birthday: 11/23/1985
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 3/24/2007
About Me
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Phy_lia is Phylia. Phylia is Melancholy Girl. 21 going on 22. Civil engineer, hard hat on in taking on life. With a little divine help. Crazy about food, wishing to travel, thinks way too much.
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