Bittersweet....

So, after what I would call a bittersweet weekend, I have been in a mood that I would define as pensive.  Pensive about what?  Who knows.....so much is on my mind.  Saturday night, Kara, Bekah and I stayed with this adorable older lady who just loved having our company (her husband was in Mississippi doing mission work with the church for the week.)  She asked us a lot of questions.  She asked me one question that absolutely blew me away and made me really think.  We were talking about how we knew our direction in life and what made us decide our majors.  Stopping to think about it, I hadn't ever thought about why I chose Spanish and Biology, or even why I chose Bridgewater.  I guess when I was a senior, it was just what I had always thought about...and I made it happen.  And I told her that just this year, I realized that Med school wasn't really for me because I got a C+ in Organic Chemistry.  And she looked at me and said, "You think that medical school isn't for you because you got a C in a class?  That's how you decided God was telling you it wasn't for you?"  Yeah, to say that I wasn't shocked by that, would have been a lie. 

...a few days before...

Saturday was just another one of those days that would make you crawl into a hole and stay there until God said that it was safe to crawl out.  Thursday, before we all left for Choir tour, a bunch of us came over and watched THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA (or the narnicles of chronia if you speak the language of Heather Galang.)  btw=AMAZING MOVIE!  Anyways, at the end Lucy goes back to the wardrobe to try and go back to Narnia and the professor tells her "I don't think you'll get back in that way.  Lucy, I've already tried."  And then Lucy says, "Will we ever go back?"  And then the professor responds, "It will probably happen when you're not looking for it.  All I can say is to keep your eyes open."

....back to saturday night....

So, we ended the conversations with the lady, and we all got ready for bed.  Because I had a rough day-I went to Bekah to talk to her.  Of course she had no idea, because I tried to play it off that nothing was wrong.  So we talked for a long time about EVERYTHING, not just the poopy day that I had. We talked about how things "happen when we least expect them." and "it will happen to us when we're not ready."  And we ended up by saying, "let us not worry about a thing.  Everything that is supposed to be will happen, and it will happen when we're least expecting it." 

.....today in New Testament....

Today in New Testament, we were talking about Paul's letters and specifically his letters to the Corinthians in Corinth.  And we skipped around a lot, and somehow we got talking about 1 Thessalonians and Paul's ministry in Thessalonica.  Smith (the professor) never points out scriptures ever; however, today she pointed out this scripture and this scripture only.

"Now, brothers, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night." 1 Thessalonians 5:1,2

Now, normally I know that God speaks to us in great and wonderful signs and messages, but never have I seen such a sign greater OR more obvious sign than this.  God is truly speaking to me like never before.  Just last night, someone told me, "patience brings great joy in time."  It's like God is foreshadowing something great happening---and eagerly pumping me up for this wonderful event; yet, at the same time warning me that I will need patience.  And anyone who knows me knows that to me, patience is the hardest concept to understand.  So---regarding my strange behavior..um...sorry?  I really don't know anything else to say except that it's completely the will of God that I live for and that grace of his reign that I can be hopeful for.  Praise God that we can have the open minds to think freely and worship Him with everything that we are.  I get chills and excited when I say that I can worship God and let His works speak to me, and his grace to fall down like rain onto me......

Currently Listening X 2005: 17 Christian Rock Hits By Various Artists Lay Down My Pride see related

Xanga what?  Time has just escaped from me.  I don't even know where it went.  This semester, as insane as it was, was a complete learning process.  At the beginning of the summer I had told Rachel that the one thing I was going to have to struggle through during the high and low times of camp, was going to be my patience.  I can't even count the number of times I wanted to drop everything and quit because I thought I never had enough patience.  "The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience." Leo Tolstoy, War & Peace.

This semester tested me even more than camp did.  (I know, right?  I thought that a camper punching you and taking it would be the height of what my patience could withstand.  But apparently not.)  This semester tested my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual patience.  Trying to juggle myself in school, choir, clubs, relationships, wishes, dreams, and desires, while trying to encourage and mentor youth who are trying to do the same thing took some great strength and courage. 

Of course my amazing support web was behind me through the whole thing, encouraging me and guiding me through the entire thing.  A certain person hurt me more than they realize.  It's hard to forget it, but I just realized that God knows all, and I know nothing about everything.  I just cried at night, hoping and praying that everything would just work itself out.  But as usual, I get impatient and time just doesn't work with me.  I destroyed a few things that would have worked out if I had just sat it out. 

So I leave for Costa Rica in a few days, and I'm estatic about it.  I can't wait.  I need a break just to get away from College and the drama that follows behind it.  (Who said that high school was full of more drama than college?  Whoever it was was so wrong.)  I'm so excited that God has taken me to this path and that along with exploring and traveling I can explore and travel the faith that I have.  It's going to be amazing to just be on my own for three weeks without people breathing down my back. 

"Tomorrow still holds out its hands for you..."  -John Mellencamp-

Que Pura Vida......don't expect anymore updates anytime soon.....it's called life.

HoOpSGurLL87: The Lord is smiling at you!!

shirlsue86: heather.....you're awesome

I have some of the most amazing friends in the entire world....they are awesome beyond belief.

Let go and let God..............

Alright....let me just tell you about this past weekend.  Friday night....woah.....Tara and I went to dinner with the girls, then we went and led BSM.  After that, we all trucked it to Verona to go to the Eller's.  There were soooo many people there.  We had a bible study.  We talked about storms that we go through in life.  It was such a good bible study.  I shared about my "camp storm", and I almost cried in the middle of it.  But, it's okay, because I'm coming out of it as we speak........    Afterwards Dano drove home, so I could take a nap.  We picked Kara up (she came back from the Eller's in a different car).  Then we went bowling.  We bowled until 300 am or so.  After that (as if we weren't tired enough), we went out to IHOP for a really late dinner or an early breakfast.  I'm not sure which.  We were done there at around 430.  We went back to campus and instead of all of us going to bed, we decided to watch a movie, "The Italian Job" at the girl's house.  Mostly, all of us fell asleep.  Julia and I walked back around 700 am.  I took a shower and went to bed, only to get up @ 11:00 am to work the Habitat for Humanity table at the football game.  I'm c-r-a-z-y.  I had so much fun with some amazing people.  Even though I woke up @ 630 that morning, and didn't go to bed until 7 am the next morning (24.5 hours of no sleep!), I had an amazing time with some amazing friends....a stupid academic decision, but that's beside the point, right?  )

now...because of so much time with so many awesome friends, here's a song that describes these crazy feelings from this past weekend....i'm so confused......

Lifehouse, "You and Me"

What day is it
And in what month 
This clock never seemed so alive 
I can't keep up and I can't back down 
I've been losing so much time 

Cause it's you and me and all of the people 
Nothing to do, nothing to lose 
And it's you and me and all of the people and 
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you 

All of the things that I want to say 
Just aren't coming out right 
I'm tripping on words, you got my head spinning 
I don't know where to go from here 

Cause it's you and me and all of the people 
With nothing to do, nothing to prove 
And it's you and me and all of the people and 
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off you 

Something about you now 
I can't quite figure out 
Everything she does is beautiful 
Everything she does is right 

Cause it's you and me and all of the people 
With nothing to do, nothing to lose 
And it's you and me and all of the people and 
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of 

You and me and all of the people 
With nothing to do nothin to prove and 
It's you and me and all of the people and 
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you 

What day is it 
And in what month 
This clock never seemed so alive