all i can say is that i am READY for school to be done.  seriously.  i only have like six more weeks.  maybe the school groundhog came today or something and said "six more weeks of semester" or something like that.  anyhows, stuff is going ok other than school.  dance is awesome.  it looks like i MAY be doing some sort of stage dive or something (i might get literally thrown off the stage or thrown right to the front of it) in my jazz dance at the very end.  that would be soooo awesome.  i have an interview at a treatment place that i'm going to go to, albeit grudgingly in a few weeks.  ahm, guess i should get back to doing some homework.  i hope you all are well.

omg, seeing marina was so much more amazing this time than it was when i saw her in october.  i actually SAT NEXT TO HER at the opening banquet for the weekend.  then, on saturday, she made the time to meet with myself and a friend of mine, also in her fanclub, and we had coffee and just talked.  it was amazing.  it was life changing so to speak.  it was fuckin' incredible.  i spoke to her a few times later in the weekend and she spoke on stage twice.  she was the absolute last thing to happen at the convention over the weekend.  she spoke on stage for the last hour and that was is.  she was walking out and we almost quite literally collided outside at the bottom of the escilator.  i was a mess.  i was crying because the full impact of the weekend had finally hit me.  she just stood there and hugged me and told me it was ok and that she would see me soon over and over again until i calmed down.  she is such an incredible and amazing woman.  i am trying to change my song here and hopefully you will be able to hear it.  it's "suddenly i see" by kt tunstall.  what i mean by that song in ABSOLUTELY not that i want to be her, not that i want to be an actress, not that i want to be in the spotlight like that, but that i want to have her strength, i want to be able to have that kind of courage, that kind of love for peole and that kind of ability to make people feel so safe.  i want to be able to comfort people and bring them the inspiration that she brings to me.  that's what i mean by that song.  please enjoy this picture from when we had coffee.

ok, so i'm seeing marina sirtis again on friday.  that's, let's see... 3 DAYS FROM NOW!!!  i can't believe it.  i just simply can't believe it.  i'm hoping that this time she will have time to sit down with her fanclub (which i believe there are only 2 of us attending the convention) and that would be amazing no matter how many of us there are.  it's so surreal, y'know?  knowing that i'll see her again.  i can't wait.  i am hoping that she remembers me, or at the very least, recognises my name from the chats, but that may be hoping for too much, who knows.  either way, i know i'll have a great time this weekend.  i have homework due for all of my classes tomarrow but i just didnt' do the calc 3 homework because the other stuff was really just more important.  i had to put something off.  had a flat tyre today.  they don't know why it was flat... there was no leakage and no puncture, so they did some stuff to it and then just filled the air up.  hopefully it won't give me any problems on my drive to baltimore or back.  omg.  i'm just in heaven right now thinking of that.

on the other end of things, my friend M's birthday is on thursday.  she's the one who has been more of a mom to me than anyone elase in my life but moved away in june.  i miss her so much.  i got to see her in october, but she has never returned any of my calls or emails since then.  i miss her so much.  the other night i cried until i fell asleep while praying that i'd make contact with her again or that she'd come back into my life somehow.  i dont' know how that would happen, but i still pray.  anyhows, i'm really exhausted.  i promise i will write again soon.