i'm done no more please

finally got rid of baggage, but so scared that i'll relapse.  whenever i start caring and feeling things towards him, i start thinking of reasons to hate him.  all i really got left are the memories, i've hidden all the pictures of him, deleted him from my phone not seeing him doesn't get rid of the pain, missing him makes it so complicated.  i thought having a crush will make it all better, but apparently it hasn't.  i guess i need more time to figure out what i have in me.

"you better hold on to what you got"

funny i hear that on the tv when i think about what i got.  i dunno if it's enough.  it's like any other guy doesn't compare to him.  sometimes distance is necessary, you gotta risk losing it all, just to prove that it's worth it.  i dunno why everything has to be complicated, i love you, you love me, let's live a happy life.  but no, old ghosts come and go, feelings change.  love has so many meanings.  sometimes i wish i had that innocent puppy love, but i learned quite a long time ago that puppy love doesn't last.  i found real love, only to find out that he wasn't really in love with me.  but i forgave, stupid me, i forgave, why? bc i love. one more month of me holding on, and then i have to step back and see if it was worth it.  i doubt he's even found all the goodbye letters i've written him, everytime i try to walk away i fall back to where i started, back into his arms.  the heart doesn't lie, but then again, love is blind.

why do all my friends want me to take one for the team and get preggie? 

I WILL NOT GET KNOCKED UP SO YOU CAN PLAY WITH MY BABY.

I will get knocked up eventually so I can play with my own baby, but that won't be for a couple of years when I find Mr. Right.

are you in need of health and life insurance?

guess what now I can help you!

I finally got an official copy of my license, so now I can do business in this state.  The good thing about the company I work for is that it gives a small business a chance to get health insurance at a group rate by having them become members of the Alliance for Affordable Services.  Just by being in the Alliance alone saves a person thousands of dollars through benefits that cover business, family, and health. 

I know this is shameless promotion, but it's true that a whole lot of people can't afford or do not have access to life or health insurance, and I know I'm honest enough to give you what you need, and nothing you don't. 

So if you know anyone who is in desperate need of health insurance and resides in the state of Ohio, just message me, and I'll see what I can do.

i'm a big girl now :-)