Pnkfun1's Xanga

Random thoughts

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 03:54:56 GMT

Last week, our entire school took the SAT's. That's right...the entire school. Did you know they have standardized tests for 4-YEAR OLDS?! It was really neat to see how smart my kids are, but it was funny to me that we give our diverse students a test designed specifically for American kids in American schools. One of the questions on my test (remember, for the 4-year-olds) was, "Who was the first president of the United States? JFK, Abraham Lincoln, or George Washington." Do 4-year-olds in America even know who JFK was? Oh man...as interesting as it was, it just reinforced to me the fact that standardized testing may be good for gathering data and determining if the students are at so-called grade level, but overall I think they're a waste of time and just add to the stress of learning!

Here's the break-down of our school's diversity:

NATIONALITY	NUMBER	PERCENT
Australia	1	0.4%
Canada	10	4.3%
Federal Republic of Nigeria	3	1.3%
Hong Kong	4	1.7%
Japan	5	2.1%
Malaysia	11	4.7%
People's Republic Of China	8	3.4%
Republic of Korea	114	48.5%
Republic of the Philippines	3	1.3%
Singapore	13	5.5%
Switzerland	2	0.9%
Taiwan	3	1.3%
Thailand	1	0.4%
The Netherlands	2	0.9%
United Kingdom	2	0.9%
United States of America	53	22.6%
	235	100.0%

I graduated up to book 2 in my Chinese lessons. These are the characters I can read and write so far: 我你他她一二三四五六七八九十是们门请笔给要两都那哪什么吗妈妈不也问这有好的人个万千白口飞月水心

I can say/understand a lot more than that, but most of the book I was in used "pinyin" which is the phonetical spelling of the Chinese language. That makes it a lot easier to start with!

你给我这个笔. "You give me that pen"

我的妈妈要四个笔. "My mom wants 4 pens"

这是什么？ "This is what?"

我要辣椒。 "I want hot chilli peppers"

I don't know many nouns except for you, me, him/her, them, etc. That makes using characters not very exciting yet, as I get tired of talking about pends. But the character "bi" for "pen" is fun. It looks kinda like a face to me. 笔

Well, there's your Chinese lesson for the day. I leave for the island of Hainan in 2 days...and I am SO excited for some sunshine and beach reading!!

okbye

don't understand

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 01:08:37 GMT

Well, as of last night, the Steven Curtis Chapman China tour is no longer making a stop in Chengdu.

Our original venue cancelled on us 2 days ago, just 3 weeks before the concert date. We were then left to find a new venue, which would add an extra 20,000 rmb in addition to the original 40,000 rmb we had to cover. Our community just doesn't have the funds to cover that kind of money.

In one way, I am so disappointed because I feel like we failed. My competitive go-get-'em nature does not like to give up easily, and I feel like we went down without much of a fight.

On the other hand, I know it was a wise decision to make. If we don't have the money, it would not be fair to anyone involved to go blindly into the situation just hoping we somehow got the money. Granted, HE could provide for us at the last minute, but we cannot jump into it stupidly. Bethany compared it to jumping in front of a mack truck saying "I trust that G*d will protect me!"

I've been reading through a lot of my previous entries, some back as far as two and a half years ago. I used to write some really great stuff on here! I was challenging myself and making myself laugh...I used to be funny! I'll work on getting the humor flowing again.

okbye

hopeless or hopeful?

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 03:45:36 GMT

When I was younger, I was always encouraged when I thought about my generation of believers. I used to think "We'll all get older and get married and raise more G*dly children and then soon there will be strong believers everywhere!" Good thought, bad math. I wasn't taking into account the fact that unbelievers outnumber us significantly, and they also are reproducing, some at a frightening rate!

I am a die-hard American Idol fan, and I am SO IMPRESSED with Idol Gives Back. For those who don't know, (how can you not know about this?!) it is a night filled with A-list stars and musicians who come together to use their celebrity to raise money for 6 different charities around the world. It was a two-hour show filled with performances and videos, and I was moved to tears at multiple times. Through this night they raised MILLIONS of dollars which will be distributed to those in need both in America and in Africa. After the show, I was talking with Bethany about it and it was neat to hear her views and share my own. She was saddened by the show, because to her it pointed out 1) there are people in other places in the world (i.e. China, middle east, etc.) who are not receiving this assistance; 2) they may be receiving food and shelter, but their spirits are still lost; 3) there seems to be so much hurting that no amount of money will solve the problem.

I can understand all of these things, but want to point out a few more things. Each of us, redeemed or not, were created in His image and have the capability of displaying characteristics of Him. Idol Gives Back was a huge example of a bunch of fallen people demonstrating His generosity, grace, mercy, love, and compassion. I was so encouraged by this display and can only hope that some will come to know His Truth as a result of this evening. I believe He can use even the unredeemed to accomplish his purpose; in fellowship this Sunday we talked about how He could do all things in this world in the blink of an eye but instead He chooses to use us. And His plan is not de-railed by our screw-ups--we cannot stop His Will from being accomplished. He will use who He can in whatever ways He chooses to do what He wants!

So, from all these things I see a hopeless world in a hopeful situation. We as an entire world are lost, fallen, and it's getting worse. The earth is deteriorating, our bodies are deteriorating, and things cannot be put back to "the way they used to be". That's against the laws of nature--we cannot go from confusion to order, only the other way around. That is so incredibly hopeless. I feel helpless and useless when I think about the immensity of the problems in this world.

BUT THERE IS HOPE! We know the Truth, and right now the world is so ready to hear it. Those of you in America may not see this so much, but if you would take a look at the rest of the world, they are craving the Truth that we have. There is a movement called Back to Jerusalem...I can't talk about it on here, but google it. It will seriously blow your mind and make you realize that American believers aren't necessarily the key players in the spread of the Truth anymore. We know that He is coming again, very very soon. He could come while you eat your lunch or check your facebook for the millionth time. It could be while you wash your hair or watch tv.

What are doing today to bring hope to this hopeless world?

Everything We Do

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 03:32:16 GMT

Since being in China, I've been overwhelmed with so many new things to learn that it's hard to pin point what each lesson actually is. One that I've been able to identify is that everything I do can be used by Him if I am walking with Him. Related to that, I've been reminded of the Veggie Tales song, "Little guys can do big things, too". One not-so-spiritu*l example: Our school did a coin drive/competition over the period of a week. My class is the smallest, not just in age, but in numbers also. However, we proved Veggie Tales correct and sailed through to win the coveted pizza party and bragging rights! tehe

My life has been busier than usual because I've been handed a unique opportunity I never expected--Steven Curtis Chapman is coming to China and will be doing a concert in my city...and I get to plan it! WHOA! I'm just so thankful for this opportunity to use my organizational skills and meet more people here. At the same time, I'm shocked to be the one doing this--I'm working with people who speak Chinese or who have lived here for years; I barely speak Chinese and I've only been here 8 months. I'm 24, delegating jobs to people older than me...some significantly so. I'm reminded of Timothy, when he was told not to let people look down on him because he is younger.

Still working on re-entering the blog world...I'm a little rusty.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 03:34:50 GMT

waaaaa. I just had a super-long post and the dumb new-fangled xanga buttons lost it. (of course, it had nothing to do with the user pushing the wrong buttons ) It was called "passions and purpose" and it was a really good one. But you'll just have to wait, because now I'm irritated.

webpxy is amazing.

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 03:49:08 GMT

HELLO FROM CHINA!!!! Because it's a personal blog, xanga is one of the many blocked websites in China. BUT, via Bethany I managed to break in through a web anonymizer. And that makes me very happy because I still love xanga. I'm so out of practice with this whole blogging thing that I don't even know what to write--I'm just so excited about being able to access it again!

Life in China has been interesting. Not quite what I expected, though. The culture's not that hard, the language thing is manage-able, but it's the friend aspect that's really hard for me. I've never had a hard time making friends, and here that's the hardest thing I've encountered so far. It's like there was a spot open for me at the school as a teacher, but there was no room for me in the lives of the people here. They're all nice...but rarely does it get past superficial with me. I'm not trying to complain--just explain. Does anyone even read this anymore?

But He still remains good and in control, which is a relief to know. Sometimes I get so caught up in my own pity party that I forget there is a purpose and a reason for everything, even this.

Hope everyone is doing well--leave a comment if you happen by my page!

Friday, July 20, 2007

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 16:02:11 GMT

Guess where I'm updating from?! My very own laptop! He provided support in such abundance that I was able to purchase a laptop to stay better connected with friends back home! I have to give him all the glory, because I definitely did nothing to deserve this blessing! Thank you to all of you who have helped me along this journey. Be blessed as you have blessed me!

I leave in 3 days. I have my bouts of crying and basic emotional-ness ("I'm going to China?! Whaaaaa!!!"), and then I have times of indifference ("eh. I'm going to China. Big deal."), and times of excitement ("I'm going to China!! Wahoo!!!"). Talk about emotional roller coasters...

For your information, I now must have a clean xanga site...clean as in I must watch what I say and links I am connected to. So if you comment, please be aware and don't use religious words or talk about politics. Thanks!

okbye

Friday, July 13, 2007

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 16:18:24 GMT

Time passes quickly when there is much to do.

Yikes.

I leave for China in 10 days. And I don't have my visa yet.

Yikes.

God is good; He's brought me this far, and He won't drop me now.

Did I say yikes?

YIKES!

okbye

Friday, July 06, 2007

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 16:48:18 GMT

My training in New York ended today....I'm still at the college waiting for my ride to the airport...I don't fly out till 7:30 tonight, so I get a nice long time of waiting in the airport. I'm not really worried--I've got books and paper and my ipod and there will be lots of people around.

I learned a lot these past two weeks. It's hard to put it all into one short summary, but the biggest thing I realized was how lacking my prayer life is. Everything I am doing and going to do needs to be surrounded and soaked, overflowing with prayer. They talked about things I wouldn't even think to pray about...but I realize it's a necessity if I expect to make a successful transition into China.

Even though there were some 100-ish people here, I didn't really get to know a lot of them except the ones who are going to China. There were times when I regretted not getting to know others until today when it came time to say goodbye. All the people I bonded with will be on the same flight with me from DC to Beijing, so all we had to say was "see you in two weeks!". That made goodbyes a whole lot easier. I wonder if it was worth not getting to know other people...

It is so hard to believe I will be in Beijing, China in exactly 2 weeks and 3 days. There is so much to do and it is very overwhelming, especially considering I'm sitting here in the room by myself and almost everyone's gone and it's hot and I'm tired. All of those factors contribute to the feeling of being overwhelmed. They compared this training to trying to drink water from a firehose. I'm drowning in details, which I shouldn't complain about because just two weeks ago I said I wanted details, and I didn't care how many or overwhelming they were. I spoke too soon

I'll try to have pictures up on facebook within the next week so you all can see what I've been doing! To see some pictures, you can go to my facebook page and click on pictures of me. There are a bunch in there.

Wow, this is the longest post I've had in a while...But it feels good to get my thoughts unhindered out of my brain.

peace out

okbye

Lies, all lies

Sat, 30 Jun 2007 18:54:20 GMT

I just finished another time on facebook, the wonderful directory of all humans on the planet. I love looking at pictures on there, and today I saw quite a few wedding/engagement pictures of friends from college and high school. I am so excited for friends of mine who have found that love and have committed to that person forever. But right now, I am fighting the lies and doubts that satan puts into my mind. Doubts like, "What's wrong with me? Why haven't I found that love yet? What am I doing wrong? How am I ever going to find 'him' if I go to China? Does 'he' even exist? Am I ever going to get married?!" In times like this, I have to admit my fears and just lay them out in front of me so I can examine them for what they are. Satan, you do not have dominion in my life anymore, and I refuse to believe the lies or give in to the doubts that are currently weighing heavily on my heart. It is truth that I am beautiful. It is truth that I am unique and, aside from my sin nature, there is nothing 'wrong' with me. I was created just as God intended. I am loved, by the Heavenly Father as well as by many people here on earth. I know without a doubt that God has led me to China. He has gifted me as a teacher with the patience and ability to love children and people of all ages. I know that He is faithful, He keeps His promises, He is sovereign, and He has my best in mind. He desires me to be happy and He loves to give good gifts to His children. I am thankful for all the gifts He has given me. I refuse to forget all the wonderful things He has blessed me with, just because He has not yet given me a husband. My life will not be less valuable if I am not married. I will make the best of my situation and I will praise God with or without a husband. He knows my heart, He knows my desires, He knows what is best for me and when it is best. Now is not the time. I do not know when (if ever) the time will be right, but I will take Him at His word and follow wherever He leads. I will find my satisfaction and completion in Him alone, and should He ever choose to give me a husband, I will still find my satisfaction and completion in Christ. There are wonderful things in marriage, but there are wonderful things without marriage as well. I am not a 'single person'. I am an unmarried person in relationship with many people. None of us are 'single'--as Christians we are all part of the body of Christ, and I refuse to think I am an isolated, lonely, half-person simply because I do not wear a diamond on my left hand.

So there, satan. Take that. Your lies mean nothing to me.

And for the record, I truly am thrilled for each of you who have found that love. "And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best..."

okbye