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Poem_in_Motion
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Birthday: 7/4/1983
Gender: Female
Interests: Music, theater, and studying the Word.
Expertise: the Fine Arts -Theater from musical to improvisational; Music, my first love, especially Gospel Music because before anything, I am a child of God.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
11/11/2003
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So on some real update type stuff...
I've purchased my dress for the SUN formal. And, no, it is not black nor white. I've stuck to my guns. It wasn't hard to though. All the black dresses I stumbled across all looked the same. All trendy and what not. Now, I don't know how anybody else views me, but my style is not trendy, Amen. It's classic, thank you very much. Right now, I'm really into the skirts that flare out just below the knee...you know, the printed dresses that you wear a cardigan over, how TV mom's from the 50's/60's used to rock them...that's what I'm all about right now. And, you can definitely tell by the hair...i keep it short and flipped, right now I have ot a little high in the front. I'm all about the retro 50's/60's Jackie O look right now, that I couldn't afford to compromise my style by purchasing the same old black dress.
I'm not gonna spoil all the fun by describing what my dress looks like for those reading who will be in attendence. Just know that it is strapless, and flares below the knee like the dresses I described above. And, I found the perfect more modern day formal strappy sandal to compliment the ensemble. Bakers had this great promotion deal where if you buy a formal shoe, you get a free pair of flip flops...oh yeah, I made out like a fat rat.
it was good spending the day with my mommie. i missed her something terrible, being up at school, not being able to come home because of the play. there's something special about the relationship between a mother and her only daughter, especially now that her only daughter is an adult. my mom is done telling me what to do, and where to go, and who to talk to, and what to wear...she's done with instructing me how to live my life. she's already given me the tools to help me in adulthood. now, she's just watching me, carefully. she's let go of her hand, but she's still a consistant spotter, if you know what i mean. i know that if i fall, mommie and daddy will be there to help me up with no problem. i love them for that. i'm already scared to death of being on my own, it's just comforting to know that the crib is always there to help me out...
and mommie did in a big way today! she bought my shoes! yay!! and the crinlin (didn't spell that right, but oh well) half slip to go underneathe it. yes, i did buy a child size 14 slip at the Children's Sample Shop, thank you very much. i'm still a "little bit." I can get away with it... |
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there are a lot of other things that have happened of major importance. OUR TOWN WAS A HIT!! everyone who saw it liked it...lots of people were moved, and maybe there were some who really did go back home and reevaluate the way they conduct their lives. My wonderful cast showered the directors with gifts and flowers...so sweet. if i didn't have a "thing" about crying in front of people, i would have. i was so touched. i helped to make that play happen. i played a major role. the feeling is just awesome. I'm still elated...
before i go, you know i have to bring it to a place of seriousness, right? there was a line in the play that struck a chord in me...maybe a diminshed seventh, i don't know...but a really strong noticable chord...Emily is all hyped about going back and living a day in her now deceased life. Mrs. Gibbs and all the other dead folks are like no don't do it, it's not wise., you'll see everything the living people will not see, you'll feel like you're missing something, more importantly, you'll feel like you missed something - i'm paraphrasing and even jumping ahead of myself a bit, well anyways...Mrs. Gibbs gives Em all the reasons to why she shouldn't do it, and then says something along the lines of At least choose an unimportant day...it will be important enough...feel me when I say 'wow'! I mean, think about it...even the least important day of our existence - like the days when i go to bed at 5 am, wake up around 3 pm,lay in bed til 6...eat dinner, lay back down, and do the same thing again over again - has significance in my life. Even the days I will never wish for again - days when i embarrased myself, days when i got in fights with my mom over something idle, days when i wouldn't wish the pain i felt inside on anybody else - those days mark a significant moment in my life. what makes it important is that I can't have those days back. they are one of a kind - they can never be repeated. Most unimportant days are blocked out of our memories, so we won't even be able to remember them...so to go back to a day, so idle and boring...to have that chance to relive it - yeah, i see where Ms. Gibbs is coming from. only the second time around could allow a person to genuinely appreciate those days we've forgotten... it just makes me want to appreciate every time the second hand ticks away another second...makes we want to remember everything throughout the course of my day, and document it, so I never really lose them, you know? makes me want to treat everyday like it's the most important day of my life...
well, i can't put off writing this article for any longer...thanks for listening...i'll hit you again on another very important day...peace... | | |
| - A Prayeri've been playing the above song all day today...i was first introduced to it in november when my dad played it for me in his car. i thought it was a pretty song, but hadn't listened to it again until this morning. looking back over my behavior the past week, i appreciate it on a distict level. the thing is...
i know that i'm different...that i've been separated...i know better than to participate in the things that i have been lately...i mean, its not like i've never done them before...but, i don't know, i always feel like i've gone against all that i represent when i even slightly indulge in things that are of the world. i feel guilty, like i've betrayed my morale, my family, God...i see others that proclaim their love for Christ like I do, and they participate in the things of the world, and seem to proceed with life like its nothing...like when Jeremiah complains to God in Jeremiah 12:2(NIV)...You are always on their lips, but far from their hearts...i see that a lot, all the time...not just in school, but of course other places, especially right in the church...i don't ever want that to be me, but i always seemed to get sucked into joining in with all the "fun"...except it never really seems to be much fun for me at all...even when involved, my mind races on how wrong i am...the line in Tonex's Make Me Over comes to mind...Pierced Your side when they already nailed You... that just makes the feeling of being out of control worse...i always want to say no, i sincerely want to, but the weight of the curse is so heavy, i just give in...
humans are self destructive creatures. why do we tend to do things that hurt us in the end...we make decisions that are gratifying only for an instant, but then break us down and leave us injured when it's all said and done. even the most pure in heart still make dumb self destructive mistakes all the time, i don't care how holy you think you are...i just thought i had myself under control when it came to the things i slipped back into this past week, but it seems i haven't...i really need to pray, fervently, really intensely in spite of everything else that takes up all my time...
and then I need intercession, like the song refers to above:
Jesus, say a prayer for me, You know what I need...Go to the Father and intercede for me...the enemy desires to sift me as wheat...so like You did for Peter, say a prayer for me...
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thats the only way i can fight this feeling, and get back on the track i was on before...if you care at all, you can do the same...
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