Fuck you

you too...

Read it and weep

Four o'clock in the morning
Afraid to open my eyes
Another day of grief,
A day of fear.
All alone I feel.
I try to justify all the pain,
All of this guilt before my eyes.
Another day of confusion,
A day of wondering.
Is it ever just going to go away?
All this pain that I feel,
And all this anger, is it going to stay?

Ten o'clock in the evening,
Afraid of the nightmares.
Again my breathing stops.
All I can do is stare into the night.
What is it that causes this feeling?
Another night of crying,
A night of hiding,
Alone once again.
My heart feels empty,
And I can't cry another tear.
Another day wasted on insecurity,
A day of wonder.
Is this ever going to end?

Well kids...

Hmm...

I think its just time to move on. Although I say this alot, I think this time it is for sure. Why?..I'm just now realizing all the bullshit and putting the pieces together. Its like I build it up and then it just gets torn down the very same day. Nice guys always finish last. I've done everything and tried everything just to get shot down the very next minute.I don't even know why i even try sometimes, I guess because it makes me feel good for the short time being. Who knows.

I've been doing alot of thinking lately about what I want to accomplish for this year. I want to move into a house, get a second job for the summer, and get a new car. And then of course do well in my classes. I want to move into a house so i can be as loud as I want, as if I'm not in my apartment:). As for a second job...I don't really need one, i just want one because work takes my mind off of things and I love to goto work(believe it or not). And i desperately need a new car, because mine is a piece of crap and it guzzles gas like no other. And finally I want to do well in my classes so i can get the hell out of Wichita(first it was get out of winfield and now its wichita).

This past week or so is one of the best ones ive had in awhile.

It started with my 4 days off of work which was very relaxing.

Then on Saturday i took Lindsay to her Prom. We went out to eat at Sumo's and that was the best food I have ever had(beside's my moms) and the chef was very entertaining. It was very costly but it was well worth the money. We then went back and took pictures and went to the dance.  It took about an hour to get in but it was pretty fun. The dance i must say as one of the best I've been to. Lindsay, of course, was very beautiful, like a flower amongst weeds and I wasn't too shabby myself. We danced the night away and that was all she wrote...

Then on Monday, Christince, Em-Sleezy, and I went to go watch Over It, Mae, and YELLOW-Fucking-CARd in concert, and it was pretty fucking sweet the crowd turn out was not too big but the level of intensity was still big. Over it was okay, didnt hear much of their stuff. However Mae was pretty fucking sweet. Then Yellowcard came out and pretty much stole the show. They played all their old hits and their sweeet ass new stuff. It was fucking sweet.

When I dream about you
That's when everything's alright
You're in my arms, here next to me, forever
When I dream about you, girl you never go away
Just close my eyes, wait for my dreams
Cause I still love loving you.

yo kid....yellowcard...monday....BE THERE