Summer Blockbusters

I’d really hoped to go to a lot of the big summer movies once school got out.  So far I’ve made it to one, and that one came out before finals.  The only reason I went was because I got a free ticket.  So much for my big plans.

But I have been watching the reviews and the box office numbers, and if this hasn’t been a sorry summer for popcorn lovers, I don’t know what is.

First, let me explain how I’d determine a true summer blockbuster, a real success.  The movie would have to be a hit with critics and audiences (neglecting no major age group), make a boatload of money, and stay in the top five (preferably the top three) for most of the summer.  Obviously, we haven’t had one of those yet.

Mission Impossible III could have been a hit.  This is the only big summertime movie I’ve seen, and I liked it.  The problem is, Tom Cruise is loathworthy jerk, and his movie failed because of him.  The true impossible mission these days is to make a movie with Cruise in it that people would want to see.

Everyone thought that X-Men: The Last Stand would be summer’s salvation, but it seems to have already faded from the collective memory.  A lot of people really loved it real fast, and just as quickly forgot about it.  At some point I’ll probably want to see this one, but I hear that I shouldn’t expect anything great.

Back 30-odd years ago Hollywood decided to avoid movies having anything to do with Jesus (thanks to boycotts led by people like Dr. Dobson).  So I was rather excited to see that The Da Vinci Code was getting a respectful treatment.  The way I figure it, any movie that gets people into a serious conversation about Jesus can’t be all bad.  But this movie, apparently, put people to sleep.

Cars is a tricky one.  Yes, it’s been popular with almost everyone, and made a lot of money, but it’s still a children’s movie.  That means that it’s a bit more restricted in its audience and popularity from what I’d like to see in what I’d call a hit summer movie.  Yet for what it was intended to be, there is no denying that Cars has been a rousing success.

Up until I started reading early reviews, I’d pinned my hopes on the red ‘S’ of Superman Returns.  It’s my contention that the last few true blockbuster movies have come from the pages of the comics (the Spider-Man films, and last summer’s Batman Begins), and Supes seemed like the character to give summer it’s first, well-received, well-loved movie.  Well, we’ll see, but I’m not smelling any super-mania in the wind.

If Superman, the boy scout of the universe can’t save summer, then our last hope is in a pirate.  Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest sounds like it will be fantastic, the second chapter in a great series.  I’d like to hope that the Pirates series is creating a thrillingly new and creative universe, every bit as wonderful as Middle Earth or a galaxy far, far away.