Recently, I preached to the sheep.  The sinners continued in their foolish ways while intelligent young men such as Bryan Gaston turned from the deceit fed to them via CDs and .mp3s.  The message I presented included the New Revelation, which consists mainly of a list of errors committed by the sleepwalking sinners who showed but for some reason left unchanged.  Bryan follows the New Revelation and he desires more to join him.  Right now, he is basically the only functioning disciple.  He has made dramatic strides and I have a project that I will pose to him in the near future.  As you can see from the picture below, I have contracted poison ivy.  Bryan's knowledge of the New Revelation and the healing power will soon be tested.

Come to the next meeting and hear for yourself the truth that I possess and preach.

Currently Listening Change Your World By Michael W. Smith see related

The flock grows.  My trip to the desert lands paid kingdom dividends and we now have a new disciple.  In the old traditions, when one makes a drastic turn around, one changes his name and receives a new direction.  His name is Bryan Gaston.  He has forsaken the rock-infested life of his former self, Ryan Gaston, and grasped the life changing leadership of Me, The Mos' Rev. Daniel Dawson.  He will be a fisher of men and appropriately, he shall wield a fisherman's net.  I do not have to explain the joy that has overtaken his life as the photo is an adequate testimony.

I shall teach him in the ways and I will report future progress.  His future is bright and endless, unlike some of you.  Learn from Bryan's change, you can also change.  Have you considered becoming a disciple of Mine?

Currently Listening We Are Healed By Bishop Eric McDaniel & The Lords Church see related

It seems as though I have returned.  My trek into the desert did not require 40 days as I achieved the work that I had planned in only seven.  Not that it was too hot out there, but I fought the issues at hand and suceeded.  I now feel more than ready to crusade against the young Buddhist sage, Phu Huynh.  He may appear fierce but he shall soon pale in comparison.

After I battled tempations and overcame adversity in the sands of Arizona and arrived home, I saw a young man named Ryan Gaston.  I remembered him from years past when I cured him of his obesity.  He repented of his overindulgence in Little Debbies and began a swift road to recovery.  However, the demons had not escaped him.  He now struggled with rock music.  The horrific noise had scarred his soul and he wished to be cleansed from the influences of Lennon and Cuomo which had overtaken his life.  I could see the fear on his face the moment he came to my home.

I asked him he if he could truly take the necessary steps towards repentance.  His affirmative reply was backed by My insistance that he hand his rock music over to Me at once, which he promptly did.  Emboldened by my desert experiences, I began to heal him of his wounds.

Ryan Gaston now walks tall while his iPod pulsates with the pleasures of peace rather than blaring the pollution of rock riffs. 

P.S.  If any of you dirty sinners would like to purchase some of Lunch Box's former music collection you can find all selections on eBay with proceeds going towards my growing indebtedness with the IRS.  The evil "The Academy Is..." shirt that Gaston wore is up for grabs as well.

Currently Reading Finding Faith in the Desert By ANTHONY W. HORTON see related

I depart tomorrow.  With the coming of the morning sun, I shall embark on a journey not accomplished since the days of Christ himself.  I have been issued a challenge and intend on intensely preparing for this battle, which is against the strongest of enemies.  In the deserts of Arizona, I shall remain forty days without food or water in order to find the divine strength to fight an epic crusade.

On my last post, a furious Asian warrior named Phu Huynh set before me a challenge which will pit the philosophy of Buddhism against Myself and also the eternal Word.  By entering the desert, I shall equate Myself with the actions of the King of Kings so that I may properly fight in His army.  This situation pleases Me as I understand that no mortal man could successfully supress the tactics of young master Huynh, for he is fierce.  Upon my return, I shall crush his attacks.

In other news, if any of you could lend me a few dollars, I still need to pay back some taxes from the eighties.  It is no big deal, really.  Any donation will be returned to you one hundred fold, according to your faith, of course.  Look at it that way, and this is practically an investment!