Wow, its so amazing how much things can change in only a matter of a month or less. A new year has gone and passed, and i stayed home most of the time Zech was in colorado anyways. I was a good girlfriend like that, but the good girlfriend obviously didn't get me too far in what it hought was going to actually and finally end up being the PERFECT relationship that he promised.

Not getting in to anything serious, but today made me realize a huge reality check and i'm thankful for it because its whats been blinding me for the past year and a half. this all should've been over so long ago, but i was stupid for even trusting him all over again. WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?! i know i dragged it this far, and i wish in some parts that i could change what i said, but i won't take back what happened because how i feel is my own damn opinion and i'm not letting anyone else tell me any different.

so, you can change your number, act like you never had a baby with me, tell me you hate me, tell me to fuck off, and tell me you never fucking loved me but no matter what, i'll always remember you, you'll always be considered a best friend to me, and you'll always be the first and only person i was ever truely in love with. and for me to feel that way towards everything you've put me through should show alot, like maybe the fact my heart is open to you no matter what? you took everything for grantid and i was takin advantage of.

never again.

new me, i can't wait to show you all :)

love, jadey.

Its been a while since my last entry in the ol' XANGA huh? Lets update a little bit and see whats been going on? I'm still living in this shit hole of a town Hutch, and its basically still ruining my life, not to mention that my car went DUNZO the past 2 weeks, and now its being a pos again, anyone wanna give me a new car? Wichita won't be in the plans for me for a few more weeks, so party in Hutch right? Yeah, right.

Lets see, July 17th 2007 I had Noah Andrew, Zech was in Cincinatti and he had to drive back when I went in the hospital after my Monday appointment to be induced. He got there at like 6 in the morning, but I still had my support of course! He was the most beautiful baby, any mom would say that about their own, ha! He was 7 pounds 1 ounce, absolutely adorable!

Boy Update: Zech and I are just friends, I think for now. Michael showed back up in the picture and I'm starting to fall harder every day. Problems are swinging my way at the time but I've learned alot from Zech's slip up's so I think I can handle this one.

School: I started e-school and right now I'm basically failing 2 of my classes, I need to get focused but instead I'm writing in my Xanga, whats my problem?

Do people still watch Gossip girl? Its only the best show out right now.

Homework is probably calling, later!

Dear LOVELY XANGA that I can't seem to get away from,
Last night the Heights class of 07' graduated, at the colliseum...it was basically exciting, and for some reason it made me want to cry for all of them...I can't WAIT until highschool is over...wow. Mhmm...had my appointment this last Tuesday on the 15th, over all it went really well, especially afterwaards :)

OKAY, so I'm trying really hard to stay strong, and so far I have...which is a really good thing but .... HE CAME BACK and wants me to trust him, and he wants to change for me, So my last chance for him...I'm going to go for it, because its been what I've wanted for a while...and we'll see what happens, hopefully only good things from here on out? I just wanna prove everyone he can do it, thats all ;)

Anyway, fun weekend ahead....WICHITA, my girls...Zech and yeah...I'm just ready to leave HUTCH. Mhm, i dont know who wouldn't be! Okay...well Im fat and im going to go eat some cookies !! Summers right around the corner, which makes 3 years in a row..lets keep em' commin!

MUCH LOVE .... "thats SO scene"

Currently Listening Crossfade By Crossfade So far away see related

Well, Xanga was talked about for a while last night, SUPRISE SUPRISE...i know. Somehow, i dont think xanga will never not be apart of my life, well eventually when im older...but you know. Im in love with the new Kelly Clarkson song..."Never again"...its basically amazing. Music, once again-GOTTA LOVE IT. So, i couldn't sleep AT ALL last night-it was uneventful...all night, and completely frustrating. Ashleigh's room was really hot, and i had some things on my mind that i shouldn't have to deal with, my charger is being a peice of shit and will hardly charge my phone-thank goodness for new ones. :) AND...yes thats the bitching for right now.

Actually, its really hot and nasty right now-well not really right NOW...but its really hot inside my house, the mom will never turn the AC on until it actually "stays hot outside"....shes a crazy freak. ANYWAYS, so...i go a week after writing that last entry...i think i got everything out, and finally realized everything...and i go out, have a good time...hang out with everyone this weekend without really a care...............and then he has to write something? I wasn't really sure what i was supposed to get from it, like was it a sign to show he still liked/loved me? Or just because he wanted to write? I wasen't really all that sure..so of course it turned into an argument the next night...I guess after the next 2 months is over, im just "not gunna change, and go back to being a drunk" ... haha i cant wait to shove that in your face when im sober all year around and live a good life...like i didn't learn from my mistakes or something?

Whaaatever, i dont need this. Just because you tried to write something, and make me tell "the whole story"...isn't gunna change my mind about anything. Kelly Clarkson ... "Never again" Perfect song, perfect situation. I'll always love you, I'll always love to be frozen holding your hand, break you into little peices, be the first love and the only love of your life, trust me...I'm a good player in all of that...Times have changed and so have you and so have I...get past it now, I finally have! THANK...THE L...OR.D!

Night lovers!

Currently Listening Morning View By Incubus see related