THIS WILL BE MY LAST ENTRY FOR A LONG TIME

Finals, finals, finals. I've been through English, Social Studies, Choir, Media Arts, and French. Can I handle tomorrow's Science and Math? I hope so... I'm an emotional eater, so last week I pigged out as I studied devoutfully day after day, night after night. I ate family-size dinners, and indulged in un-"nutritious" cereal bars, chips, snack cakes, and whatever the hell I could get my greedy little hands on... Obviously resulting in weight gain. UGH. I weighed myself today, and I've gained two effing pounds.. I'm at 131. Honestly though, it was kind of a relief! I thought I would be at 135 or something, eating the way I have been... Tsk tsk. Next week, the first of summer vacation, is going to get rid of all that- And then some! I can't wait for summer to finally come! It seems so wierd that its been almost a year since I was down to 96 pounds, and in the hospital. July 13th will be my "Anaversary". It's going to be an emotional day, I can already tell, because now I'm 35 pounds heavier. 35 pounds heavier, holy shit. That number is going to haunt me for a few days...

This summer is going to be hard. I have two Ana friends, including my very best friend, Ashley- but I won't be able to get on Xanga at ALL. That is, unless I'm at a friend's house, or somebody updates for me. I hope someone offers... It will kind of suck though, because I won't be able to personally comment back to all of you supportive, wonderful, strong girls- And boy. I wish you all the very best, and I hope you leave me bunches of comments whenever there is anything new or exciting in your life- That way, when I finally can check my comments, there will be tons of new ones to read! Well, I wish you all a fun, active, and hungry summer filled with drunken nights, and "Why the fuck did I kiss him?!" mornings.. Love you all so much<3

Fiachra Faye-Lynn

P.S. IM me at EffingRetroChild on AIM, or Prettypinkfishnets on Yahoo messenger!!

Today. Is. Horrible.

I have dark circles under my eyes, my shirt is too clingy and makes me look even more chunky than I already am, I look like I've been crying ((I have)), I have finals all next week, My hair is falling out, I'm starving ((Duh.)), and I hate the world at the moment.

That's it. That's all. I can't handle finals... There is SO much to do. God help me through this... Finals+Managine my anorexia= NOT HAPPENING, BITCH. I'm screaming inside, tearing my hair out and gouging my eyes with a knife.

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.

With respect to money, you spend as little as possible.

You think good luck is something you won't attain - you expect bad luck.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort.

You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.

WELL. I gained an effing POUND from eating so disgustingly these past two days... I'm going to be pretty much fasting for the rest of the week though. Hopefully, I'll be 5 down on Monday. Down to my GW.

Kim blocked me ((JUST kidding, no she didn't))

I cut my hair, partly because I was bored yesterday, and partly because my hair is FALLING out by the handful. I don't understand, I've been taking a daily mulitvitamin for so long! But anyways, it looks SO good, and I definetly have a talent for haircutting. I'm doing Ashley's this weekend, so on Monday we'll both be hot bitches:) I wish I could take pictures but my camera isn't working at the moment.. Ergh.

Fia

 A gorgeous picture from http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=squigglemonster

QUIZ TIME****

Your Extroversion Profile:

Assertiveness: Very High

Excitement Seeking: Very High

Friendliness: Very High

Sociability: High

Cheerfulness: Low

Activity Level: Very Low

Your Political Profile

Overall: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Hello my wonderful darlings-

Friday and Saturday SUCKED. I ate so effing much, it was rediculous.. Sunday, however, I had my lowest calorie total in a while: 160<33 My lowest ever, other than fasting, was 38. Someday I'll be able to survive on JUST that...

I have all this week to lose four pounds, but alas- I have my period for the first time in two effing months. And with that, comes water weight. So.. I'll just keep on working hard, and hopefully be down to 125 by next Monday!!

EW. About 65% of my school is genuinely fat or chubby, and being that it's summer, everyone is wearing shorts and short skirts. It's DISGUSTING. I mean, I sweat my ASS off in capris in 90 degree weather, just for the benefit for the people who would have to LOOK at my sick fuck of a body. So why, if I'm considered to be so "skinny", can I not wear shorts though fatter people do? It's not fair. I'm just glad I have enoguh deceny and respect to hide my fat, while others let it ALL hang out. Ew.

Lots of love and strength<3Fia

Have a great weekend everyone- I'm going to comment on Monday<3333

Weighed myself today- 4 pounds till 125!!