3 months and 4 days ago- I saw Rachel smile, and we went to the bathroom together, as we always did, but this was the last time we'd ever have our tradition-together at least.

3 months and 3 days ago- I heard the news that Rachel had fallen. I was worried out of my wits, because I did not know all the details. I made Rachel a card, that I still have, unopened, that she never got to see.

3 months and 1 day ago- I went to Rachel's prayer vigil. I cried more than I ever had in my life. They said she probably wouldn't make it--I didn't believe them. People kept telling me she would pull through-and that's what I kept telling people. God, I wish i'd kept that candle thing.

3 months ago- I heard the new that Rachel had died. I couldn't believe it--I didn't want to believe it. It was too horrible to be true. I thought for sure she would make it, for sure. Maybe I should've had a little less hope. I cried myself to sleep that night thinking about how much I would miss her, and all the things she would never get to experience.

Last night- I cried myself to sleep reflecting over the past three months without her, and how i miss her so much more than i ever thought I would.

Talk to all you kiddles later.

Ciao,

     Kelly

2 months. Wow. She's been gone two months and I miss her like heck, but that's just another month to add to the list of months we'll have to live without her.

It's not fair, I know life isn't fair, but I don't care, it shouldn't have been her. There must be some mistake. Maybe I will wake up and it will all be a dream. But, no, I know that won't happen. She's gone. Forever. I want her back. Why does God need her up there anyways?

Last night Brad had an away message up that said "If you had one wish what would it be?". She was the first thing that came to my mind. And I realized, that would be my one wish. To have her back.

I know all of this sounds kind of selfish, but that's how I feel. I miss her. A lot. I'm sure all of you do, too. Everytime I think of her it breaks my heart to think about all the fun times we had together, and all the fun times she had with other people. I see her sister in the hall  everyday and think of Rach. I try to be happy and move on with life, but still remember, like Rach would want me to do, but it's just so hard. It really is.

 <3 Kelly

Yeah.... school is ok. I think I might join the International Thespian Society (theatre group). Went to that meeting today w/ Ashley. Tomorrow I'm gonna try out for Suessical the Musical. Wish me luck.... because it will take a lot of it.

I got my own computer! I'm so excited!

man, i'm worn out...