f*ck. i feel as if i fail at life. the closer it is to summer..the stronger the feeling gets. its like i know wht im supposed to do but i dont know wht im doing like im scared to face reality & try & convince myself that i still have time... i dont know how i procrastinate everything in my life.. i swear time & time again i tell myself im going to change.. but i never do..at least not for the long run... i convince myself its okay u still have time when i know deep down inside im scared as f*ck cuz i dont.. and i refuse to accept that fact & get my shit together. i always put the most important things off cuz im always scared to deal with it. & it js gets worse and worse.. unfinished agendas...written yet undone. always in need of someone to hold my hand & walk me through my own life. as if i can't survive without being lead the right direction..scared to ask for help.. cuz i know ill get nagged at and told how irresponsible i am and how i have to learn how to get things done & stop being a pain in the ass. and how its my life & no one elses and it goes on and on.. my priorities are pending.. nothing is going as planned..nothing..absolutely nothing im too scared to try cuz i expect failure..& in that sense i fail.. all i want to do is make my parents happy. but ive come to realize that is by far the hardest thing in life to achieve. i feel as if the only way i'd make them happy would be moving back. going to UQ where there are two things u do..work & study & ur one source of entertainment is late night thurs shopping which ends at 9pm.. i swear i can see their faces light up if i were to agree right now & go back.. | 
