I don't really know what I'm going to write yet. I'm really just feeling a lot of things, not really thinking straight. Just go with me on this one.
First off. Listen to the song. Rascal Flatts-Skin. Amazing. Need I say more?

I know some of you may think I focus on this subject too much or you think I'm looking for attention. Fine. I'll let you hate me all you want cuz you aren't worth my time. But for those of you who need to know that someone's just like you, or you just want to get caught up in someone else's drama b/c yours is getting boring...read on.

For those of you that don't understand the song, let me explain. Sarah Beth is being diagnosed with cancer. I don't know this for a fact but I'm 99.9% sure that she's being diagnosed with Leukemia. They never say this in the song but the bruise ((Since the day that she fell And the bruises just won't go away)) is a symptom of Leukemia. The part about the red and white blood cells ((Between the red cells and white Something's not right)) Leukemia is when you have an over-abundance of abnormal white blood cells. It's a long explanation but you have to understand that the affects of the over-abundance of white blood cells makes it near impossible for leukemia patients to fight infection, heal scars and bruises. That kind of thing. And my last clue was the whole bit about her hair falling out. One of chemotherapy's side affects is hair loss. ((For just this morning right there on her pillow, Was the cruelest of any surprise, And she cried when she gathered it all in her hands, The proof that she couldn't deny))

Now that you've got a little background information, I'm going to make it personal. I feel very strongly about cancer and especially Leukemia because I am a survivor and I've seen how cancer affects the patient, and the patient's loved ones. I've always wished there was something I could do to make more of an impact on those currently undergoing the long process of ridding themselves of this devastating and life-changing disease. I've talked to my dad about possibly going to Children's Mercy and just talking to patients and their families and giving them some kind of hope. I don't know if I'll ever get that chance because of laws, hospital rules, politics, stupid stuff. I'm going to keep pushing for that goal though because today was my latest HemOnc. check-up. I hadn't had one for a year and a half and just being at Children's Mercy again gave me the chills. Don't get me wrong, I love it there, hell I owe everyone that works there my life. It's just...memories. None of my old nurses recognized me. Some stopped by my room and couldn't believe it was me because the last time they saw me, I was bald, fat, and a feisty little five year old. I've grown a little bit since then.

My dad n' I left my door open because we love watching people walk past, we can always tell who's been newly diagnosed and who's an old-pro at the whole coming in for check-ups and treatments thing. There was this one family that especially stung my heart when I saw them today. It was a dad, mom and daughter. The little girl looked about 11. She was, without a doubt, a newly diagnosed cancer patient. You could just tell because the mom was very focused, almost like she was worried that if she lost focus, she would lose herself and lose her daughter, the dad's eyes were bloodshot and a little bit puffy from sleep-deprivation and I would imagine crying. The little girl was calm yet scared, stiff yet at ease, quiet yet screaming for help. This is all very hard to explain, I'm sorry. All I wanted to do the moment I saw that family was talk to them. I wanted to tell them that if they just prayed and did what the doctors told them too, God would show them the way. If only they knew.  I don't really know where I was going with this entry or anything. This is already really long and choppy and I doubt if anyone read it but at least I can say I wrote it. So I guess in conclusion, I love you.

I love you because you don't judge me. I love you because you're always there for me. I love you because you know when to leave me alone. I love you because I don't deserve you. I love you because you are who you are. I love you because I am who I am because of who you are. Never stop loving; you never know when you're going to wish you'd loved her for eternity.

They go d.a.n.c.i.n.g,
Around and around,
Without any cares,
And her very first true love is holding her close,
For a m o m e n t,
She isn't scared

<33 Madeline*Ann

::Edit::
dontBAILEonme: ok so in realtion to the skin song... i new a girl who got cancer at like 16 and her dad and little brother both shaved their heads for her.. but she didn't live but her dad and brother have kept their heads shaved ever since to remember her