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| Wow, longtime no update. It seems i only update this thing when there is something wrong..
I think im selling skip.. Its just not working out. Its not that he's to much horse for me, because he's not. it's just like he is never going to try as hard for me as he does for Judy. It's honestly killing me to watch her ride him. I know that no matter how hard i try, he's never going to be what i want. No matter how hard i work on trying to make him want to work for me.. he never will. Ever. And the sad part is, ive always know it. Always.. Right when he starts going good and i feel like he's doing it because he wants to.. something inside of him snaps and he wont even walk without trying to get me off.. I dont want to sell him..that would be letting everyone know that i gave up. For the past two and a half years ive been laughing when i wanted to cry. If i knew that later in life he would get better, i would keep him. but i dont. I just want to ride. I hate having to go through a whole set of excersis with him before i trot just to see if hes having one of his "days" Going out to the barn isnt even fun anymore.. I just want to ride. I want to show, english and a little western. I want to trail ride without having to keep him from running away. I just want to ride. I keep saying that but no one seems to get it. I dont know what to do anymore.. im sick of crying. | | |
| I spent most of last night dragging this lake
for the corpses of all my past mistakes
sell me out- the jokes on you
we are salt- you are the wound
empty another bottle
and let me tear you to pieces
this is me wishing you
into the worst situations
i'm the kind of kid
that can't let anything go
but you wouldn't know a good thing
if it came up and slit your throat
your remorse hasn't fallen on deaf ears
rather ones that just don't care
because i know
that you're in between arms somewhere
next to heartbeats
where you shouldn't dare sleep
I'll teach you a lesson
for keeping secrets from me
take your taste back
peel back your skin
and try to forget how it feels inside
you should try saying no once in a while
oh once in while [x2]
and did you hear the news?
i could dissect you
and gut you on this stage
not as elequent as i may have imagined
but it will get the job done (you're done)
every line is plotted and designed
to leave you standing
on your bedroom window's ledge
and everyone else that it hits
that it gets to
is nothing more than collateral damage
take your taste back
peel back your skin
and try to forget how it feels inside
you should try saying no once in a while
oh once in a while [x2]
Soo its been what a month since i updated last.. how sad is that?
Life has been so dramatic. I have a whole new group of friends because my old group that ive know forever decided that i dont meet their standards -rolls eyes- I swear, Liberty has the biggest reputation for ruining frienships.. what can i say, 9th grade girls are back stabbing bitches and im sure thats true of any high school...
School is actually pretty fun. I made friends that are pretty dang awesome My classes are all good and my teachers are cooool. | | |
| So, uhhh nothing is going on.. Judys home and i got new tack..im going to disneyland and i might take kiki.. i need to go shopping.. i dont feel good | | |
| Oh my god.
Cowboy is dead.
He coliced yesterday.
And died this morning.
I let him die. It's my fault.. | | |
| My mom wants me to sell skip.. i refused to let her do that and she said he's under her name and she can do whatever she wants with him. First she was like "we're not going to be able to find someone like Judy" i said i know that. Then she started into this whole thing about how i cant handle him and he's going to get worse without help and some hick trainer is going to get on him and beat the crap of of him. I will NEVER let anybody but Judy or my mom on that horse, ive worked to hard to let some dumb ass ruin him. Even though i wont let anything happen to him, i started to bawl. The thought of having him leave makes me want to jump off a bridge.. the only thing that makes me fell a little, is that if Judy says that i should keep him then i can, But my mom said that the only place he could go would be with Judy. The only problem is that she wants to move to Oaklahoma.. I really hope Judy dosent want to take him.. | | |
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