I try so hard but don't succeed, because only You can give me what I need.

 Why do I insist on everyone in my life having a label or a role? I seem to tattoo titles across people's forehead. I see that person I automatically classify them to the role they have in my life. I leave no for flexibility, and that's where my perfect plan fails.

It seems I have too many expectations. My mind demands people to assume the role I have given them. Often times the opposite happens. Then my heart sinks down to my feet, where I walk on it all day and then I attempt to pick the flattened out organ, fluff it and return it to it's permanent residence in my body.

Expectations weary me, but yet I can't seem to rid myself of their evil presence. Worst of all it seems that expectations were designed to breed failure. First of all, many times the expectations I create are never revealed to the victim, therefore to think that he/she could fulfill those expectations is absurd. Yet they still ensue.

At least there is One that will never fail me.

I must defeat this evil demon that insists on wreaking havoc on my life. But until then, I think I'll get a tattoo on my forehead which states "Expects too much" or maybe I'll just write it in permanent marker.

I found this story on the web today:

Real Friend

Author: Unknown

 

Horror gripped the heart of the World War I soldier, as he saw his life-long friend fall in battle. Caught in a trench with continuous gunfire whizzing over his head, the soldier asked his lieutenant if he might go out into the "No Man's Land" between the trenches to bring his fallen comrade back.

 

"You can go," said the lieutenant, "but I don't think it will be worth it. Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your own life away."

 

The lieutenant's words didn't matter, and the soldier went anyway. Miraculously he managed to reach his friend, hoist him onto his shoulder, and bring him back to their company's trench. As the two of them tumbled in together to the bottom of the trench, the officer checked the wounded soldier, then looked kindly at his friend.

 

"I told you it wouldn't be worth it," he said. "Your friend is dead, and you are mortally wounded."

 

"It was worth it, though, sir," the soldier said.

 

"How do you mean, 'worth it'?" responded the lieutenant. "Your friend is dead!"

 

"Yes sir," the private answered. "But it was worth it because when I got to him, he was still alive, and I had the satisfaction of hearing him say, 'Jim, I knew you'd come.'"

 

Many a times in life, whether a thing is worth doing or not really depends on how you look at it. Take up all your courage and do something your heart tells you to do so that you may not regret not doing it later in life. May each and everyone of you be blessed with the company of true friends.

To make a short story long: it brought tears to my eyes. I'm not sure as to the truth of the story, but it got me to do the unthinkable: think. 

I've always desired to have great friends in my life. Ones that I can depend one, friends that are by my side through large and small. I've learned through many uninspiring experiences to be in posession of a good friend, I myself, must be that friend. Thus, I have given up on looking for a good friend, instead my efforts are focused solely on improving my friendliness factor. I crave to be that friend that someone can depend on through the wars of life, that friend that knows just what to say at the wrong time (I can't be perfect!!), and I hope that being that I will be able to find somewhere in the bushes of this jungle called life, one that will be there for me. Though I have a few prospects, I'm still young and honestly haven't been through enough to be settled in my heart that they are the ones, but I hope that when I'm fifty and having those torturous heat flashes (or whatever age you hit menopause), some of the friends I have now will still be around and floated with me an a dingy through the storms of life.

But mostly I have to be thankful for a friend who has already proven Himself. As it says "No greater love has man that this, than he who laid down his life for his friends." John 15:33

No matter if I end up alone in the middle of the sea, I know that there is someone there watching me, forcing the sea to float me gently me to shore.