| I understand that Xanga, was produced, built, and manufactured for the people of the world to get online, and type out their thoughts, actions, and their words. However i feel that i have neglected xanga, and all my fellow subscribers who come on here everyday to catch up on their friends lives, and happenings. I do appologize to those who are dedicated to this whole xanga thing, trust me, i was their once, it just all seemed to fade away.
The truth is, i just dont find it necessary to get on here anymore, and display my life out to a T to just anyone. I feel that if you are that interested in me, then you can privatly talk to me, one on one, and that way you can get a better understanding of who i am, and what i am all about. Until then, one must obide by the unwritten xanga "code" and leave bits of comments to find out what lies beneath the skin of Justin the Great.
Up until recently i found myself to easily be able to accept anyone, i was able to become friends with people quickly, regardless of what i heard from other people. I was all for meeting new people, just as long as they weren't crazy, phsycopathic, or mental even. But when there is a person, who for so long you thought was your friend, and they literally rip your hair out, then you have go to stop and ask the question, "Am I to trustworthy?"
Many of you who know me know my significant other, Paul. I mean, you kinda have to know him if you know me, he is my world, my everything, and my soul mate. He on the otherhand can answer the question without a doubt. Yes. He is to trustworthy. This doesn't really have to be a bad thing, Paul is a good person, and with that comes perks. He can trust people, easily, even if they are the villain of all villains. He is quickly able to forget the past, and jump towards the future, hoping to mend something which honestly, no mending can be done. I don't want to talk down to Paul, everyone has their flaws.
I have looked back on my past, and I hope that the present is Just a dream. It seems like just yesterday i was sittin in class in high school. I was with my friends everyday. I was destined to see them-and i wish that was the same. I miss them. Megan, with her loud mouth, and amazing voice. Nikki, with her helpfull advice, and easygoing thoughtfullness, Angela, her quirky smile, and the ability to put a smile on my face, Erika, her long beautiful hair, and her somewhat weird tactics, and Allison, my best friend in high school. The white to my black, the good to my bad, the light to my dark, She was everything a friend could ask for. I could go on and on like this, with all of my friends-but sometimes, that only makes me want to cry.
I look at my future, and i see myself, doing what i want to do. I see myself with Paul, i see myself happy. But why don't i feel that way in the present life of mine? I work, 40 hours a week as a shift manager at Taco Bell. That is all i do. Occasionally, i go out with friends. But besides that i have no life. I dont go to school currecntly because i am going to transfer. How can i Make myself happy again?
Sorry to everyone who sat through this aimless entry of self discovery. You may leave a comment, or you may not, the choice is yours.
"We are the music makers. And we are the dreamers of dreams"
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