| i haven't updated in like a year, but i need to get this off my chest. death has always freaked me out, but when someone is so young, it gives me chills. i felt like i knew heath ledger, we grew up with him, and he's not much older than us. he was one of my favorite actors, 10 things i hate about you, knight's tale, and probably my favorite movie of all time, brokeback mountain. i keep imagining what he was thinking right before he died, my roommate says he probably didn't think he was dying, but just that he was fainting, which is good, i hope he wasn't scared or panicked. i want to believe it was an accidental overdose, that he happened to mix the wrong medications at the wrong doses. i hope it was fast and painless. we did an autopsy on friday, and he's getting his today. i keep imagining what they're going to do to his body, each cut they make, removing all the organs, weighing them, looking for what's amiss, sewing him back up, and putting him back in the body bag. it's not an elegant procedure, but it's the best we've got for this type of situation. my thoughts go out to his family, michelle and matilda. it's not fair for them, but life isn't fair a lot. |
